I m just a wee piece of a bigger picture.A return to the Peace and stillness of Love.

bySarahJJones

101 followers

6 years ago

So, in the past two weeks. I survived total implosion and inner self destruction. I experienced crippling levels of inward anxiety, anger unlike anything I have ever experienced to this date. It was followed by anguish, self hatred self loathing. Into a cycle of despair and extreme frustration in repeating cycles which lasted the best part of a week. If that wasn't enough emotional pain to bare I then headed into rage at the universe for being a woman unable to conceive children despite been broody as hell for more then ten years now. I then trapped myself in sadness at the fact I feel life so intensely because my physical body is so highly sensitive it feels the pain of others to the point it can tell what is me or not me. It's so confusing to be me.

These waves of crippling emotional pain, my physical body got totally frazzled and I have got to the point on more than one occasion I wanted to let go of this online experience. I got to the point my finger was poised over the button to cancel the WA experience because even technology had become an irritant.

There are no words to explain how low I felt and how many times I have experienced the above. Yet, I am still 'here'. I am here unmediated not afraid to experience this to the max.

I reached a point that I felt I didn't matter, and what point was there to my existance when I can't even function at work, I was signed off for the last two weeks. Then I realised that I am a small part of one bigger picture...

I have been hiding my authentic self for most of my life, trying to 'fit in'. Now is the time For me to open up and just share my experiences. In the abesense of fear having just survived the internal destruction.

To me 'success' , is not what I have achieved materially . It's the Love I came to share with the world.

The only reason I am here..alive in a tiny part of the globe called Scotland...more locally Elgin...is to continue Serving the people I support in my local community, to practice the skills I have learned in the Feild of heart centred consciousness through my therapies. That is the business that I am about. To be open to what comes my way as an opportunity to serve and to Love.

It is wonderful to be a part of this global online community..but really I do not understand this online world. I am unsure if I need the experience in order to just Love what is .

I may not be a super business person, but if I can help the little lady across the road, help ease the suffering of another human being . Help reach those who are also suffering to reach out and say 'hey...you are not alone Dear one. You are Loved so much more than your earthly body can even comprehend or imagine', then I have fulfilled my purpose.

I am just a wee body, in a tiny wee Island. A tiny price of this Big Blue planet called earth which I Love. But I have purpose, and that is simply to Love.

If I choose to persevere with the experience here at WA. I will do so if it means it's out of Love. To build bridges of connection with my fellow human beings.

So although, I really am having profound difficulty in understanding this massive online world internet superhighway . I might never actually make a business out of it. The legacy I want to leave on the Planet is to be the messenger of Love. And to spread that message as far as my tiny physical being can spread it. If that is the only reason I am here at WA, then so be it.

This blog is to encourage those of you out there who are Highly Sensitive Beings, or anyone who is feeling alone. Or have suffered mental health struggles. You are unique and special piece of a infinite Bigger picture. You matter . Don't give up do not loose heart. Whatever it is you do in your local world you can make a difference. Don't measure success by what you 'have'. Instead, look at your loved ones, those in you local community and see the opportunity we have to just Love.

I may be a wee part of a bigger picture...but each of us are connected..and this community is a representation of the interconnected nature of the world.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and part of my journey. Have a blessed day.