White Gloved Monster

I feel like I haven't been on here for years, but I think it's been a couple of weeks.

I miss being here and reading all of your fabulous blogs. I love how you all are able to weave words to produce such vivid and colorful posts; it's like you're sculpting a piece of clay into a work of art. I hope one day I can become just as good.

Lately, I've been struggling with juggling household chores and working on my WA training, but am I procrastinating? Am I using "juggling" as an excuse because I struggle with writing or is it my inability to allow my home to be a little messy and unorganized? Having 3 boys, I've had to learn not to be overly clean and organized, but occasionally the white glove toting monster rears her head and wants cleanliness, perfection and organization.

So, what is it, procrastination or white glove monster, or both?

Getting this business off the ground is the most important thing I can do for my family. Especially for my daughter who I need to make sure is financially secure should anything happen to me. I know that and yet I struggle to ignore the dirt I see collecting in and on and around everything inhere.

Maybe, as long as the home is somewhat clean I might pacify the monster, but somehow I don’t think so. If the monster feels anything is out of place or dirty, then the monster demands a sacrifice.

When did this start happening again, I thought the monster died when my 3 sons slew it, but ever since I stopped working, I’ve felt the monster slowing building, until it exploded out into my home and thoroughly disinfected and organized it.

This is madness; procrastination or monster. I think both. When I get stuck on what to write, I look to something to keep me busy in order to ignore that I can’t write and have no ideas. Since I don’t have a job to go to the next best thing is, clean, organize, yard work and I almost forgot, I coupon,so I can spend hours looking for deals. Yes folks, I can buy $500.00 worth of stuff and pay $50.00 or $0.00 if the coupon Gods are aligned.

In conclusion, I bring forth the white gloved monster and the coupon magician by avoiding writing thus procrastinating.

What to do about it? I think recognizing when I am avoiding writing. I think it’s okay to step away and do something else for a bit, but not let it overtake me. I have been gone for 2 weeks because I couldn’t face my insecurities about writing, but I’m back now and I’m ready to slay the monster

Thanks for reading

Luba