The day the grief began

byprocerorn

19 followers

7 years ago

The day grief began...

I saw the surgeon’s face as he entered the cavernous waiting area in the hospital. He was dressed in scrubs, shoe covers, and a hat all in that blah hospital green. He was followed by three others on were on the neurological surgical team. I was the only one waiting at that late of an hour, the lobby now bereft of others. The piano player long gone, yes they had a baby grand piano in the lobby. Others started with me at 7 in the morning that day in June. It was now 5 pm. I watched as different doctors would enter and search for the family members waiting for the results of their loved ones surgery to be told to them. Then they would leave with that doctor, heading for the floor upstairs to see their family member. The doctor I was waiting for only had my son, John, that day. I last saw John being wheeled away to the operating room at 6:30 that morning.

The surgeon’s facical expression spoke without words and I knew it was not good news. My stomach jumped up into my chest with fears of what went wrong. Being a nurse, I imagined every possible complication occurred in that short time it took for him to reach me on the other side of the lobby. I knew that the surgery had been going okay throughout the day as I was phoned every couple of hours by the nurse in the operating room with an update on the case.

The neurosurgeon began with “I’m sorry." Then he proceeded to tell me that the tumor deep in John’s brain was not removable. It was located in John’s right thalamus and to remove it would have left him with no quality of life. The tumor biopsy showed it was an incurable type. Ted Kennedy had this type of tumor. It was Glioblastoma Multiforme Grade 4.