Day 1: Starting from Scratch Again
Last Update: Oct 20, 2021
I've never debated leaving WA after all these years because I've built a few websites here for clients which covers my fees. I don't have the brain capacity or short term memory abilities to learn new computer skills very quickly, so I'd be scared to move them to Wordpress or some other host where I have to learn how to build. I'm sure I can do it, but anyway..."building a website" here is super basic and so much easier than everywhere else I've tried. (Not looking for suggestions just pointing out how nice and easy it is here.)
But anyway, I think it's a good thing I still have this space because I've found myself jobless and self-supporting for the upteenth time in my life and I remember how supportive it was here. I keep trying to go back to work a job with benefits and all that, but I just can't physically and socially "handle it" for very long outside my home or with an employer controlling me.
My PTSD kicks in something fierce (as my grandma would say) when I get orders to do things I'm not comfortable doing - and it can be as simple as selling a product I hate or refusing a refund to a customer I feel might deserve it. I absolutely cannot stand angry yelling, but it's really hard to avoid in my familiar industries (retail and food service). And trying to get regular sick days for my severe physical pain is a nightmare.
Anyway, my few website clients and some of my blogging side ventures, along with a hefty overdraft limit, are keeping me afloat for a short time - the lockdown medical mess really tapped my reserves. I've spent a week or so farming on Stardew Valley and meditating on what to do, and I've come out of that depression with the decision to set up a new website and podcast.
I had created two websites for myself through the WA courses in the past and they were pretty amazing at bringing in regular money, but it wasn't enough to keep me from having to try to go back to work. I can't do both at the same time so I end up in this back and forth yo-yo cycle.
Anyway, I didn't upkeep my sites, and information changed, links changed, affiliates changed, and even I changed so reading what I wrote feels detached. Now they're only bringing in a few pennies a month and I need an income. I feel it's time to start over with a new passion and use what I've learned to grow again.
Today's task is to nail down a niche. I have some ideas and I'm kind of excited to dig in and see what I come up with.
I just wanted to share for those who know what it's like to start over and anyone else who might be as scared as I am about life right now but ready to do something about it. Let's do this.