Yet i did not know
My child... my darling child
he cries a lot....
he plays by himself......
he flaps his hands before his eyes like it was something strange
he smiles so beautifully ..... so cute
Yet i did not know.
My child... my darling child
you do not like seeing eye to eye
you love to play with one toy always...just one toy out of many
you are always closing your ears and crying....least i tried to comfort you
yet i did not know.
My child... my darling child
my heart is heavy and my spirit's down
i do not know want to do
you sense my fear and worry.... you smile
your smile gives me hope....it says it's going to be fine
joining your peers in school ....
all around you run.....endless like a restless person
confusion and lack of understanding was the order of the day
no knowledge from the school except fear.....
my heart is heavy.........
i do not know what to do.
My child... my darling child
you only make sounds.....but not speech
just gests and promps..... you could not express yourself
never knew what the problem was
worried.....so much worries
for i still did not know what was going on.
My child... my darling child
could you say mummy....
please don't cry so much...... please
mummy loves you.......i could comfort him not
my heart is in pain......
who can tell me what the problem is......
oh....my cute baby boy
soon to be five of age
yet i still did not know what was wrong.
My child... my darling child
maybe just a little delay in growth
soon you will be like your peers...... such was my comfort and hope
waiting...... waiting..... still waiting
now you are seven of age,..still the same....still the same
who will tell me why...... what ...... perhaps who
please help my son......he is just a child......
i still did not know what was wrong......am a useless mother.
My child... my darling child
why are you like this.... please help me
can anyone tell me what the problem is....
am i being punished..... what past crime have i committed......
confusion is my routine...... as i tire of sleeplessness
fear is the reality of the day......
shame is my companion...... least it is my fault
names were given to me ....... least i deserve it
blames became my garment....... is it an ancestorial curse
why my son...... return my son to normal.....
oh my poor son...... i know not who to point my finger at
hmmm.....i still know nothing.
My child... my darling child
my cute and beautiful baby doy...... my son
so many years passed........ still nothing
my cross ...... i accept
many said it was demonic ....... many have speculated....
many have suggested....... many have adviced.....
i became lost...... moving from one direction to all direction.....yet no direction
i still did not know what the problem is.
My child... my darling child
don't worry .... mummy will solve it......don't cry anymore
just a little glim of hope ..... though it slips away
by a thin line ....... depression beckons on me
all felt lost..... a gloomy path
can some one help me.......... please help me
felt hopeless.... so much fear
an uncertain future...... who will save my son
my spirit's crushed....... i have to be strong for my boy
yet still in ignorance i did not know.
My child... my darling child
a stranger be my savior........ it mattered not
a little knowledge given...... a ray of hope brightens
enlighten me from my ignorance...... expose me to solutions
the right help came.... a time not to be wasted
a time for answers and actions
many test is taken....... many answers will be provided
few answers has given little knowledge to my son's problem
now i know a little to understand .
My child... my darling child
with everthing that happened .... hope becam my shield
answers came....... my son stoped crying
i learnt a weiry names was given
no sickness....... no disease ........ no illness
just a weird name ........ it can be managed, i was told
all this time...... a disorder i have been told
more knowledge embrace.... as i began to understand my son
more questions were answered.....
happiness silenced me...... i know all i needed to know
it was abreviated as ASD
simply put Autism.
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