Thinking of throwing in the towel

byPamelaBened1

109 followers

5 years ago

I just wanted to share the some things that I have been dealing with me the last few days. I guess you can say I have been thinking too much which has caused me to start doubting myself.

I look around this house that my children and I have started restoring, I see how much work still needs to be done, will we ever get this house finished? How much longer are we going to live in a house that always feels like your living in construction zone. I wonder where are we going to find the time to do this work, not to mention, how on earth will we ever have enough money to get it all done.

I even started thinking about all the time that I am spending on WA, that I'm wasting my time. Putting into too much time and energy into something that may never go anywhere at all. Wasting time that I could be spending on this house (yes the same house I was just questioning.)

I was so in my head with doubts the last few days that I really didn't get a lot accomplished. Then again why should I even put in the effort, it's not going to work out any ways. Right?

Then I got an email notice from WA that there was a new blog titled "Why I disappeared" I decided to open it up and read it. This was not just a blog, she really was telling everyone why she had disappeared. That reason was, if I'm not mistaken that on May 14 her home burnt down. She was talking about everything she had been through since the fire. To go through something like that has to be once of the worst experiences for anyone and I just couldn't imagine having to deal with that sort of loss. My whole heart really goes out to her and her family.

Reading that also did something else, it made me realize for one she was dealing with a real problem. My problem was mostly in my head because of fear, fear maybe of failing I'm not sure.

I'm still not sure if we will ever finish this house are where all the money to do it will come from to get it finished. I don't know if I will ever be where I want to be with WA. All I know is, all I can do is give it all my very best effort, and I know I have to Really start believing in myself and not give up.