To avoid or confront - is there a good path ?

byMTCandela1

4K followers

2 years ago

For some of us, confrontation is a difficult matter. Right or wrong, we all know this dilemma. We go round and round on the same questions - should I bring it up? Or should I keep it to myself? Unless it is something that would seriously be detrimental, I try to avoid confrontation.

Perhaps the neighbors dog keeps you up at night. “ Should I talk to them? , you wonder. At first you decide not to: “Maybe the barking will stop. Maybe I’ll get used to it.” At some point, the dog will be quiet. And as you are ready to get your much needed sleep, the dog barks again. As you toss and turn, you decided that you are going to talk to the neighbors once and for all.

Now you lie awake for a different reason. The thought of getting into a fight with the neighbors about their dog makes you nervous. You are now making a script in your mind on how to approach with out bringing the situation into an argument.

You want the neighbors to like you. Perhaps you’re overreacting. Eventually, you come back to thinking it’s better to say nothing, and this calms your nerves. But as you drop off to sleep, that darn dog howls and barks incessantly, and your cycle of indecision starts anew.

There doesn’t seem to be any choice that will allow you to sleep.

Why is it so difficult to decide whether to avoid or to confront? Because at some level we know the truth: If we try to avoid the problem, we’ll feel taken advantage of, our feelings will fester, and we’ll wonder why we don’t stick up for ourselves, and we’ll rob the other person of the opportunity to improve the situation. But if we confront the problem, things might even get worse. We may be rejected or attacked; we might hurt the other person in ways we didn’t intend; and the relationship might suffer.

And there goes the alarm, it’s time to get up and face another day. At this time, the neighbors ‘ dog is nowhere to be seen. Probably exhausted from the entire night of howling and barking.