The Blog - Changing my Mindset P.5
July 18th, 2015 part two
Distraction is what I thought I’d focus on today, but I learned something new and more resonating for myself… about Failure.
I’ve often contemplated the affirmation: “There is no such thing as failure; there are only results”. I’ve used it as a mantra, but I don’t think I ever truly understood it, until now… maybe.
We can only truly fail at something if we don’t learn from it. Life can be looked at as a series of mistakes and lessons learned, that we use to do better in the future. In relation to how we feel about the completion rate of our plans, we can embrace the thought that we are on a continual learning-curve of self-correction.
The words I’ve used in many interviews suddenly about failure came rushing back at me and I was left wondering at how sincere they were perceived. My answers amounted to an attitude of self-pity, that I thought was a demonstration of accountability. It boiled down to saying it was my fault, but I never clearly offered what I learned. Possibly because I started with an expression of guilt. Let me get to the point on this.. when something happens that you perceive as negative, ask yourself “why this?” instead of “why me?”
“Why This?” allows us to look at the results with greater objectivity; without the wasted energy given to guilt and self-depredation. “Why This?” allows us to evaluate the details of the circumstance, of the results, then to course correct improvement for the next time. You need to have faith here! Faith that there will always be a next time.
So, when your plans don’t turn out exactly as planned, and you’ve allowed yourself that occasional moment of frustration, ask yourself “What happened instead of my plan?” Please don’t ask yourself “What did I do this time?” The first question is inherently more positive, as it looks for facts, not emotion filled culpabilities.
Back to the start, or the fundamentals of these interrelated topics…. Start your day with your plan and then pat yourself on the back, if you need too, because you in fact did start something, and that has gotten you further ahead than you were before.
See you soon on The Blog!
M.
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Great advice, but easier said than done. I see days that I try to plan and then right in the middle of something someone ask me to go with them or do something and guess what, my plan has just been changed not by me but for me by those I love.
Aahhh... the very personal challenge of setting boundaries and expressing them to those you love. Again, much easier said then done, but we need to find ways to explain our decisions and actions, if only to solidify our commitments.
S*** sometimes happens, but we can always say no to the unnecessary. Learning to say no, is one of the challenges i'm learning as well.
M.