Sometimes You Just Have To Pin Yourself Down

byMelzWrld

76 followers

Updated 5 years ago

This is my first WA post that I get to do while working in the beginning of my courses. While I am still a newbie, I have been in the community for a couple of years at least. Every year, I sign on and get started, full of fire and seeing this image in my mind of all the ways I want my life to be, how I want it to feel and it to support me without using the word job or work. Then it's time to get to the content, nothing is smooth, my thoughts and ideas don't seem to come together like I know deep in my heart that they can. I get fustrated, side-tracked and tormented. WA is left untouched and I start working like mad in another area of my life.

I have always known that I was different than those around me and WA has helped me in strange ways that have absolutely nothing to do with technology. They have given me a straight forward shot at creating what I dream about. And because this post is currently being written, it means that I have broken a barrier that I previously hadn't passed in my previous tries.

I have learned how to quiet myself to write again. I have wanted to write sooo bad, but I never had the time or quiet that I felt I would need. Also, what in the world was I going to write about? I couldn't hold a solid thought for more than 2 seconds before I was interuppted 3 times by 3 other people who needed an actual response.

Finding my natural rhythm that worked, on a daily basis is also something that required me to pay full attention to how I felt throughout my day and the thoughts that led me around. During these couple of years, my free time vs actual job time has slowly been increasing in days. I jumped at the chance to be able to find a way to blend my creative interests and actually getting to start pursuing bigger goals that are completely unconventional without losing all of my income. I even gave up smoking and sodas to pay for my monthly fees to remove any guilt over spending.

I am that person that sits on the outside of the larger circle. Not far, but not that near. The hardest part I find is making myself include myself into the community around me. I am no different online like this as I am in the real world. WA makes this a valuable learning tool since my future plans include the same of me in real life. I get real world training before I get to practice on those around me that I've known (from the outskirts) all my life in a tiny town. I am the most comfortable around my community when I am present in a customer service orientated way, and as I get older, I want to make sure that it's something I can do until my faculties give out.

The future is what I daydream about and the now is my reality. I am always getting ready to be ready for whatever the next stage throws at me. I am learning to steer my own life and create it in such a way that makes me feel good. I am also learning to transform myself into what I feel natural with and creating my environment around me that just feels right. I feel like I NEED to step back into a important yet simpler time and at the same time I get to project out into the world from a storytellers perspective, my path, so that I may look back and also be able to share with my children an adventure we call life and that we truly can become anything we can imagine ourselves being!

Never give up on yourselves! I haven't.... I just found that I needed to create my story so that my brain would allow me to tell it. I am extremely grateful to be able to be a member of a site that has allowed me to see growth in a project that I have been working on for many years in various ways and styles.