It's okay to ask for help

This past year has been a rough one for me. I don't reach out to help very quickly, and for some reason, I have been known to suffer through an enormous amount of difficult situations to avoid "imposing" on anyone.

Well, the funny thing about not asking for help when you need it is that the pressure builds and builds and build and makes you more vulnerable than ever. More vulnerable I became.

I never considered myself a person that suffered from anxiety, all growing up I was told that you "buck up" and keep going.

While that advice is not necessarily bad, it is not helpful to someone when they don't understand what is going on in their brain and why they are reacting the way they are.

I recently have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety. Which means I worry. A lot. About EVERYTHING. It's crippling and frustrating. Especially when you know that there is this vast amount of potential that is just frothing at the bit to present itself to the world.

When your anxiety starts crippling you over and over again, you can gain depression on top of that. Dump a few hormones on top of that, and you have a recipe for someone that needs some TLC.

Depression was not a substantial on-going problem for me. That was until I had my fourth baby and there was some significant complication from his birth leaving his face extremely swollen with water blisters under his eyes and his weak little voice gone from being stretch and swollen. He was unrecognizable to me compared to my other children when they entered the world. After the shock wore off and everything calmed down. My worries and anxieties flared up worse than ever with bouts of feeling complete hopelessness and despair. Why? Good question. He was fine. The swelling went down quickly and by some miracle, no bruising.

But they were invisible wounds that were wide open that I had not even begun to treat.

I won't bore you with all the details, but I finally reached out. I reached out when I broke down, crying and feeling so alone, that I no longer wanted to be a mother, I no longer wanted to live.

When I reached out, I found that what I was going through was very common, and I did matter. Most importantly I rediscovered how much being a mom mattered to me.

Don't wait until you are to the point where living seems like a chore. Talk to your doctor, talk to someone you trust. Never underestimate the power of daily prayer, meditation, and personal development.

Along with reaching out, I want to share some of my very favorite people that pulled me up and changed my life.

First, is Jody Moores podcast "Better Than happy" She talks a lot about thought work and helps puts you back in the driver's seat of your emotions.

The Second is Mel Robbins; she is fantastic and invented the "changing your life in 5 seconds flat." She teaches you how to change habits and behaviors through action, despite anxieties and "imposter syndrome."

Life is so good, we are meant for joy, so get up, Stop judging yourself and take action by doing what it takes to make yourself, YOU again. You deserve it, the people who love you deserve the best of you too.