How to RETIRE in the Next 7 Days (with no work)!

Many of you have been asking for the secrets to success, primarily "how to make money fast" so I thought I would take a little bit of time to outline a several different strategies that can lead to your retirement in the next 7 Days.
This is not for the weak and it is definitely not for people that like to really work hard. If you want a solution to success that requires little to no work, read on. If you want to continue pounding out your silly sites, then you can leave this page.
Without further chatter, I am going to outline 5 (YES FIVE) proven strategies for having the retirement of your dreams in the next 7 days.

Technique #1: Win the Lottery

It is so easy. You can get a powerball ticket for a BUCK. You simply buy it, sit on your couch and wait for Friday night to pass. You match 6 measly numbers, BAM. You WIN.
That is it. No work and you can even watch your numbers get drawn on TV if you want!

Technique #2: Someone RICH leaves you in the will

Estates are a hugely lucrative business. All you need is for someone to pass down their estate to you in the next week and BOOM, retirement is at your doorstop.
Uncle Harry goodbye, your retirement HELLO!

Technique #3: Sell your organs

This is a huge business and there is a huge black market for earning a good deal of revenue from selling organs. In fact, just over a year ago a kid in China sold a kidney so he could get himself an iPad. If you think about all of you organs and you think of the demand, the sky is the limit.
You can sell a kidney for $40,000 alone! (read story here)

Technique #4: Dig up a Treasure Chest

There are many treasures buried all over the world. People use to large stashes of gold and precious jewels and bury them. All you need to do is dig up land and come across one of these many buried treasures in the next week and you are going to be RICH. So rich you can take all over you bullion to your local "Cash 4 Gold" store and celebrate your RETIREMENT!

Technique #5: Live in the Forest

If you live in the wilderness, you do not need any money. You can officially yell to yourself in solitude "I am RETIRRREEEEDDD" (wait for the echo off the mountains). If you don't need money, then your retirement is taken care of and you can do it any time you like.
There you have it. If you aren't interested in working hard towards a retirement, I have given you 5 solutions where you can sit on your hands and watch the money mosey on in to your happy little hands!