I've been trying to see. Even though I was blind, I was still trying to see.

byJkuik

156 followers

10 years ago

if I could go back in time, I think I would try to slap some sense into myself. I spent two decades of my younger years making ignorant mistakes. I was to busy having a good time trying to stay drunk or stoned. I couldn't seem to ever pull myself together for longer than a month at a time.

Now I feel like I'm racing the clock. Trying to make up for the time that I selfishly took from myself. I can feel the anxiety weigh me down like sandbags on a tarp.

I've never been one to live in the past, but... Sometimes I think to myself, "what am I doing"? I tell myself that none of the mistakes that I've made in life were necessary. They could have easily been avoided.

Yes. They could have been avoided, but, at what cost? Who would I have become if I had taken a different path through life? Would I have become someone that I could look at in the mirror?

8 years ago I told myself that I had had enough. I quit drinking and started to do the right things in life. Believe it or not, I think that was when life started getting complicated. Complicated in a good way, but nevertheless complicated.

Some days I feel like I'm in some kind of epic battle against unseen forces.

I have finally caught a glimpse of my dreams and goals. Way off on the horizon. If I look hard enough and long enough, I can see them moving ever closer. Slowly moving. But, they are moving closer.