Changing Peer Groups
I've been doing a lot in the last year or so to grow and improve my life. That's a huge reason why I'm here at WA, after all.
Part of this improvement involves reading books ranging from self help to money management.
The one I'm currently on has an interesting chapter in it about what and who you surround yourself with. It states that it you take the average income of the five people you hang around with the most, that is likely in the ball park of your income.
It talks about how, if you want to get rich, you need to start hanging out with rich people. People who are already successful, who are positive, who are willing to take risks because they have complete faith in their own capabilities.
Many of my friends and family are either completely negative, or very "stuck". There is always an excuse for why they don't try harder or take the risk. They are more likely to dwell on horrible news stories and sit around talking about what is wrong with the world. They complain about their jobs but do nothing to change them.
I love these people. They're intelligent, generous, interesting and hard working. But they will never improve their lives because they have no desire to; or at least not enough of a desire.
These people cannot be my role models. They cannot be my reference group. Not if I'm going to succeed in creating my new, positive, amazing life.
But I find as adults, it gets harder and harder to make new friends, particularly since I'm an introvert who is uncomfortable with small talk and walking into new social settings. The idea of joining a local activity group makes me cringe.
WA is amazingly positive. I make sure to follow and communicate with many upbeat people on here. I have tons of positive role models on Instagram, Google Plus, Facebook. But no one local, no one I see in person, talk to daily, can experience being around in person.
I wonder how others in this situation have handled it. When you started changing your life, started making money online, started being a success, did it just naturally lead to meeting and befriending more positive and successful people, or did you somehow go seek them out first?
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If you examine history Jessica. Positivity eclipses negativity in the end. In Germany Russia, south Africa the American South and other places. It may not be always completely snuffed out but the mainstream governments are!
The book you're reading is absolutely correct. There are studies (I believe one from Harvard) proving that one is profoundly influenced by whoever surrounds them.
When my husband and I decided to change our lives the first thing we did was to get rid of the intoxicated ones around us.
Of course, we can't do that with family and/or the ones we love. But you end up learning it's possible to take a step aside (getting some distance from them) and - after recharging with positive energy - going back close to them. This way, you avoid getting contaminated by their negativeness.
Congratulations on the decision and all you've been doing to improve your life.
I believe that you'll naturally attract people who think alike.
Wish you all the best!
Thank you! I definitely have put the distance there. I find myself doing a lot alone and/or with the children. It's a lot more enjoyable and positive than spending time with complainers. But I'm still seeking out other positive people to spend time with and learn from.
I'm glad you and your husband were/ are on the same page and were able to move forward and change your lives together! :)
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I think that is the positive side of social media and platforms like WA. Like minded people connecting. Getting the positive reinforcement from the members here has totally increased my confidence and my own positivity...so when I do go out to meet "real" people, I know what to look for and I know how to project myself. Like attracts like. Put yourself in social situations and the right people will show up. All in due time...when you are ready.
Debbie
Thanks Debbie! I definitely need to go be social more :)