Choosing Calm, choosing happiness

byDrtrc

138 followers

7 years ago

dr.singlemom.com

Staying calm and focused in the midst of a storm is easier said than done.
I will share with you a life event that required a calm approach. Approximately two years ago, on New Year’s eve, I got served divorce papers. I was buzzing with happiness the entire season, I accepted my failed marriage a few months prior, I was enjoying my freedom. I went for five mile run, listening to the late George Michael for the entire 45 minutes, in his tribute, the adrenaline was pumping, I was happy.
I arrived home, feeling good and that I accomplished at the end of the year, a personal goal of keeping fit. at my door was an unfamiliar car, with a strange face, asking me my name and then handing me an envelope. What perfect timing? I was just about to plan my night out as my kids were away with their grandma. I opened the envelope and the legal vicious terms stabbed me a million times over, alimony? Pay his legal fees? There were some real low blows served, but on NEW YEAR’S EVE? How cruel, I fell into my bed, with my sweaty running clothes and became numb, happiness was zapped from me just like that. I knew this meant starting the new year in court, battling for material and irrelevant things, what petrified me most was being able to stand tall and strong for my kids.
After a few tears and fits of anger, I decided calmly that I would not let this spoil my last day and nigh of the year.
I left the house, did my hair and nails and went to the part as planned. Traveled overseas as planned the following day and enjoyed every minute of my vacation. I stayed calm by putting the distress on pause.
Pause, simply put, ‘wait’, ‘hold off’, or ‘in a few’.
I was determined to stay calm, to not let a squirrel of a man steal my inner peace or joy, I buried it deep and decided on my terms when I would open that envelope again and address the matter.
Never let anyone steal your joy, inner peace or rain on your parade. They can only do so if you allow them to.
I firmly decided that this would not happen, he failed, the plot of ruining my holidays was unsuccessful. I did this for me, importantly, its about me, you and not about them, or the adversity.
You have to choose how and when you will face adversity. It comes at us unexpectedly, daily, but you can press the pause button and stay calm, and deal with it when you are comfortable and ready. That is empowering, to know that you can with your mind, decide whether something will affect you or not.
Mind control is paramount in staying calm
Love
TRC