Hello Everyone!
This is my latest post for mylolili.com, which is an MMO site, whose target audience is seniors.
I want to entice them to build an online store.
You may ask here as well, Corinne :)
Site Feedback Please Give Me Feedback on My Website
Hi, Corinne
It’s an informative and fun read.
I read it on my iPhone and your photos would look better centered, so that the text doesn’t get pushed to one side.
You need a comment section for visitor interaction and it’s also a ranking factor.
My question about your target keyword is where you expect your traffic to come from?
Would people be searching “career game plan” or “career plan?” Those keywords are likely to be very competitive.
Frank
Hello Frank
Everything you mentioned, I did not foresee.
You have given me lots to consider.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for your very valid comments.
Corinne
You’re very welcome, Corinne!
Choosing the right target keyword is critical to getting traffic to your article, especially if your website is new and has a low domain authority.
One step at a time and you’ll get there! 😎
Frank 🎸
Howdy try
Affiliate Bootcamp Comments Affiliate Bootcamp - The Comment Share Post (Day 7)
See more comments
Will someone please read this post?
Hello Everyone!
This is my latest post for mylolili.com, which is an MMO site, whose target audience is seniors.
I want to entice them to build an online store.
It's a nice read, however the change up to the Wealthy Affiliate pitch was about as abrupt as it could get.
I would add something in there mentioning how you learned how to do what you do at WA and others can learn from it too. You started off before the change mentioning the need to stand out. I would hammer some examples of how WA teaches you to stand out to continue following along that statement.
I would also reduce the amount of times you mention WA. It comes across as pushy. I would wait until after your listicle and then explain how you were surprised how WA checked all of those boxes, and allowed folks to come take a test run to see if it was for them entirely for free. How you yourself tried it and folks are seeing the results of that on the very page they are reading, etc.
Regards,
Jason
Hello Jason, thank you, and ouch!
It is so good to have fresh eyes looking at a post and that is exactly the critique I was looking for.
You pointed out the weak spots - yes they are - but you also offered a variety of solutions.
My only defense is that I am trying to write multiple posts for this new site, so I am repeating myself!
In a "you get the idea" attitude, I left out the meat of the post!
I so appreciate the time you took to respond. Your comments are valid!
I have some editing to do!
Regards, Corinne
Hello Jason,
I have taken your critique very much to heart and spent the last several days, editing my post.
Here's my question:
would you consider reading my post again now that the editing is finished? I like to think that it is improved, but only you will see the differences.
Again, I appreciate your candor.
Thanks again,
Corinne
Ok, so overall it is a vast improvement. There are still a few things standing out to me.
The first is I would put a disclaimer at the top of the page about affiliate links. Something like
"This post may contain affiliate links. If you decide to purchase something from this page I'll earn a small commission at no extra cost to you."
This could be nitpicky of me, but I didn't like the - A - or -B- either. I've never seen that and it was off-putting.
The same with your inserting a dash in the word Num-ber. You do this with a lot of them, then towards the end stop doing it. I would get rid of the dash.
In your description of Wealthy Affiliate I would hammer a lot more on how you get free hosting and one free domain for the base paid membership.
As well as support for your site that is perfect for beginners like us who have no technical knowledge of coding. Their support steps above and beyond in taking care of the many mistakes possible for newbies with no experience.
That would be a huge upsell I would push harder, as many reading this still might be in doubt because of the technical hurdles one will face.
Notice in my example I used the phrase like us. This offers several connections, as you put yourself on the low level of understanding the tech. This is huge in highlighting you know all to well how intimidating it can be, which is likely one of the largest impediments for folks doing this. Especially if they are older as your site seems to be targeting.
Also important off of this is they are seeing proof it works as they are on a page you built despite your common handicap you shared with them when you first signed up.
Maybe even say something along the lines of how intimidated you were at first, how you never could have imagined building a page like the one they are on, yet here we are now after the training.
My apologies, I'm meandering a bit here.
I would also consider using some of your game plan areas and make them into future posts that you can go more in depth as well as create internal links with.
I know this comes across as critical, but honestly this is a huge improvement from the first time I read this.
Regards,
Jason
Hello Jason,
Thank you for taking the time to read my post again. It was a lot to ask, so I do appreciate it.
Your second critique opened my eyes, and I remembered that ParthaB said to write every post so it can stand on its own. Put in everything you need to say, so that the reader does not need to look elsewhere for the information he wants.
I was afraid of repeating myself with each post, but that is what I should do!
I just need to say the same thing in a different way.
Your criticism bears this out!
While it was direct it was absolutely helpful!
You have taught me the importance of making an honest and helpful review of someone's work. I so appreciate the alternatives you gave.
I will not edit the chicken and egg post again, as I have had enough of it.
I have copied your ideas and I will be implementing them in my next post.
I just have not decided what it will be about yet.
I also like the idea of using the game plans in future posts and using internal links. I forgot about the free hosting and free domain too. That needs to be said.
It is significant that you read with such depth and brought so much out.
You have a future in proofreading!
May I call on you again, one day?
Have a great week!
Corinne
I appreciate your receptiveness, thank you.
I'm glad you saw some things as well as gave some context for something Partha had mentioned.
You can feel free anytime to ask questions. It might take me a day or two to respond as sometimes I don't log on daily or have time. But I'll definitely get back to you, for sure.
Regards,
Jason
You may ask here as well, Corinne :)
Site Feedback Please Give Me Feedback on My Website
Hi, Corinne
It’s an informative and fun read.
I read it on my iPhone and your photos would look better centered, so that the text doesn’t get pushed to one side.
You need a comment section for visitor interaction and it’s also a ranking factor.
My question about your target keyword is where you expect your traffic to come from?
Would people be searching “career game plan” or “career plan?” Those keywords are likely to be very competitive.
Frank
Hello Frank
Everything you mentioned, I did not foresee.
You have given me lots to consider.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for your very valid comments.
Corinne
You’re very welcome, Corinne!
Choosing the right target keyword is critical to getting traffic to your article, especially if your website is new and has a low domain authority.
One step at a time and you’ll get there! 😎
Frank 🎸
Howdy try
Affiliate Bootcamp Comments Affiliate Bootcamp - The Comment Share Post (Day 7)
See more comments
Hello, to everyone who listened to my woes about my mouse -
my mouse PAD was turned on! (settings>mouse...
When I turned this OFF, I had no more problems with my
This is an excellent example of a captivating title. I was actually thinking of a rodent when I saw your title. So I am here cracking up laughing thinking that you were concerned enough about a rodent who was not feeling well. Glad you got it sorted and thank you for my laugh of the day. Hazel
Hello Hazel and I love your feedback!
This is what writers need - the reader to reveal their reactions.
The "rodent" thing was at the back of my mind, but it jumped out front!
Thank you for my encouragement of the day!
Corinne
Good news, Corinne. Personally, I don't use a mouse pad. An optical mouse works fine on my desk.
An optical mouse is totally flat underneath and uses optics to connect to the surface it's moving on. It doesn't require a mousepad.
I thought all mice were optical these days.
That's so funny! I swear, computers - and evidently mousepads - burp sometimes. Glad it's all resolved.
What happened? I would get a replacement.
I always have stock of extras in the house, as things can go south sometimes.
The problem I had last week was that my mouse was dragging everywhere.
I could not understand why, until today I noticed that it was behaving the way the mouse PAD (on the laptop) moves the icon around.
I went into my SETTINGS and discovered that the toggle for MOUSEPAD was turned to ON.
When I turned this OFF, the mousePAD was disconnected.
Now my cordless mouse is working perfectly!
Thank you for your help Abie
Corinne
Great to hear that everything's okay now, Corinne!
Apologies for missing the details, but I'm happy for you nonetheless.
You're always welcome :)
See more comments
Did you give me advice on my sick mouse?
Hello, to everyone who listened to my woes about my mouse -
my mouse PAD was turned on! (settings>mouse...
When I turned this OFF, I had no more problems with my
This is an excellent example of a captivating title. I was actually thinking of a rodent when I saw your title. So I am here cracking up laughing thinking that you were concerned enough about a rodent who was not feeling well. Glad you got it sorted and thank you for my laugh of the day. Hazel
Hello Hazel and I love your feedback!
This is what writers need - the reader to reveal their reactions.
The "rodent" thing was at the back of my mind, but it jumped out front!
Thank you for my encouragement of the day!
Corinne
Good news, Corinne. Personally, I don't use a mouse pad. An optical mouse works fine on my desk.
An optical mouse is totally flat underneath and uses optics to connect to the surface it's moving on. It doesn't require a mousepad.
I thought all mice were optical these days.
That's so funny! I swear, computers - and evidently mousepads - burp sometimes. Glad it's all resolved.
What happened? I would get a replacement.
I always have stock of extras in the house, as things can go south sometimes.
The problem I had last week was that my mouse was dragging everywhere.
I could not understand why, until today I noticed that it was behaving the way the mouse PAD (on the laptop) moves the icon around.
I went into my SETTINGS and discovered that the toggle for MOUSEPAD was turned to ON.
When I turned this OFF, the mousePAD was disconnected.
Now my cordless mouse is working perfectly!
Thank you for your help Abie
Corinne
Great to hear that everything's okay now, Corinne!
Apologies for missing the details, but I'm happy for you nonetheless.
You're always welcome :)
See more comments
... the one we use on our computers every day.
My mouse is about 1 year old, cordless and it has been working well, but very sensitive.
All the sensitivity buttons ar
Hello Corinne, I have had the same issue with my mouse, so I cleaned it, and it still didn't act right.
So I ordered a new one, and when I got it, about a day went by, and the same thing happened.
As it turned out, I had a bad batch of batteries and had to throw away a box of like 50.
I ordered new batteries and haven't had a problem since.
Good luck hope it is something simple to fix!
Chet
Thank you Chester that is the only possibility I have not pursued.
I will try this.
Thank you, Corinne.
Hello Mike,
I did take the battery out and cleaned the cavity and the contacts with an earbud and alcohol.
The optical ball is sitting in molded plastic on the bottom. It can't be removed, but I was able to clean what was visible.
I might just buy a new one :-(
Thank you for your help
Corinne
Sorry…usually there is away to twist the plastic that is holding the ball in; anyway, sorry I couldn’t help.
-Mike
Try plugging the USB receiver into another USB port. I had to do that before.
Kevin and Son
Hello Kevin and thanks for taking the time to comment.
I did do that: I am right-handed so the receiver was on the right.
I tried it on the left of the computer and I was surprised that the signal picked up so clearly.
But...
it was still behaving the same way...
I can hardly get to the far right sidebar - it's comical!
So I might try a new one.
Corinne
Make sure there is no updates for your computer other than that I would be at a loss. Wish you the best of luck.
Kevin and Son
I believe mine is under settings, system and software I believe. I Google to find out on mine.
Hi Abie, it's only a year old - that's why I asked if maybe it could be a lemon.
If it is that easy to get it settled down I will do that tomorrow.
I will at least try a new one and see.
Thanks
Corinne
See more comments
Who knows about the habits of the mouse?
... the one we use on our computers every day.
My mouse is about 1 year old, cordless and it has been working well, but very sensitive.
All the sensitivity buttons ar
Hello Corinne, I have had the same issue with my mouse, so I cleaned it, and it still didn't act right.
So I ordered a new one, and when I got it, about a day went by, and the same thing happened.
As it turned out, I had a bad batch of batteries and had to throw away a box of like 50.
I ordered new batteries and haven't had a problem since.
Good luck hope it is something simple to fix!
Chet
Thank you Chester that is the only possibility I have not pursued.
I will try this.
Thank you, Corinne.
Hello Mike,
I did take the battery out and cleaned the cavity and the contacts with an earbud and alcohol.
The optical ball is sitting in molded plastic on the bottom. It can't be removed, but I was able to clean what was visible.
I might just buy a new one :-(
Thank you for your help
Corinne
Sorry…usually there is away to twist the plastic that is holding the ball in; anyway, sorry I couldn’t help.
-Mike
Try plugging the USB receiver into another USB port. I had to do that before.
Kevin and Son
Hello Kevin and thanks for taking the time to comment.
I did do that: I am right-handed so the receiver was on the right.
I tried it on the left of the computer and I was surprised that the signal picked up so clearly.
But...
it was still behaving the same way...
I can hardly get to the far right sidebar - it's comical!
So I might try a new one.
Corinne
Make sure there is no updates for your computer other than that I would be at a loss. Wish you the best of luck.
Kevin and Son
I believe mine is under settings, system and software I believe. I Google to find out on mine.
Hi Abie, it's only a year old - that's why I asked if maybe it could be a lemon.
If it is that easy to get it settled down I will do that tomorrow.
I will at least try a new one and see.
Thanks
Corinne
See more comments
Hello everyone,
I have noticed in Rank Math that there is something odd about the 404s list.
I cannot show a screenshot as it will not paste into the question box here.
I don't know if this has been resolved, however this resource may help
https://rankmath.com/kb/monitor-404-errors/
Here is the screenshot of the odd 404s. It looks as if a bot is having fun with this. IDK, but this does not look right.
i'd have a look in your analytics and search console - if google is worried about it then it will be reported in there... if not then ignore it....
but with it going from page to page every second then as you say it may be a bot...
google will allow a certain number of 404's so unless it is causing you a problem them keep an eye on it ....
apparently if you go back and edit your question you can then add an image...
unless you are using rank math then you don't tend to get a 404 list...
and most of us don't use rank math - most are on either all in noe seo or the seo framework...
See more comments
Is anyone else having a problem with 404s?
Hello everyone,
I have noticed in Rank Math that there is something odd about the 404s list.
I cannot show a screenshot as it will not paste into the question box here.
I don't know if this has been resolved, however this resource may help
https://rankmath.com/kb/monitor-404-errors/
Here is the screenshot of the odd 404s. It looks as if a bot is having fun with this. IDK, but this does not look right.
i'd have a look in your analytics and search console - if google is worried about it then it will be reported in there... if not then ignore it....
but with it going from page to page every second then as you say it may be a bot...
google will allow a certain number of 404's so unless it is causing you a problem them keep an eye on it ....
apparently if you go back and edit your question you can then add an image...
unless you are using rank math then you don't tend to get a 404 list...
and most of us don't use rank math - most are on either all in noe seo or the seo framework...
See more comments
I have completed a blog about WA and want to post it on Facebook.
I have never done this before and I wonder if you wonderful people out there can advise me as to how to
What you should do is create a page on your website that contains a text link or Read More button that uses your WA affiliate link. Then in your Facebook post, link to that page's URL.
This is very interesting. Can the affiliate link be hidden inside a sentence, like click here to learn more. I posted on Facebook on a money making group but I got ticked off by a moderator who said I wasn’t allowed to post affiliate links. Although this wasn’t mentioned in the group rules 🤨
You can't create a text link in Facebook except when you tag a Facebook user or Facebook page.
Ah, ok, thanks Eric. So I could add a blog post with my affiliate link in with the text?
As you continue through the training you’ll learn all about using and placing your affiliate links :) keep up the great work and keep learning!
It's a nice read, however the change up to the Wealthy Affiliate pitch was about as abrupt as it could get.
I would add something in there mentioning how you learned how to do what you do at WA and others can learn from it too. You started off before the change mentioning the need to stand out. I would hammer some examples of how WA teaches you to stand out to continue following along that statement.
I would also reduce the amount of times you mention WA. It comes across as pushy. I would wait until after your listicle and then explain how you were surprised how WA checked all of those boxes, and allowed folks to come take a test run to see if it was for them entirely for free. How you yourself tried it and folks are seeing the results of that on the very page they are reading, etc.
Regards,
Jason
Hello Jason, thank you, and ouch!
It is so good to have fresh eyes looking at a post and that is exactly the critique I was looking for.
You pointed out the weak spots - yes they are - but you also offered a variety of solutions.
My only defense is that I am trying to write multiple posts for this new site, so I am repeating myself!
In a "you get the idea" attitude, I left out the meat of the post!
I so appreciate the time you took to respond. Your comments are valid!
I have some editing to do!
Regards, Corinne
I appreciate your openness, which tells me you will go far in this.
Regards,
Jason
Hello Jason,
I have taken your critique very much to heart and spent the last several days, editing my post.
Here's my question:
would you consider reading my post again now that the editing is finished? I like to think that it is improved, but only you will see the differences.
Again, I appreciate your candor.
Thanks again,
Corinne
Ok, so overall it is a vast improvement. There are still a few things standing out to me.
The first is I would put a disclaimer at the top of the page about affiliate links. Something like
"This post may contain affiliate links. If you decide to purchase something from this page I'll earn a small commission at no extra cost to you."
This could be nitpicky of me, but I didn't like the - A - or -B- either. I've never seen that and it was off-putting.
The same with your inserting a dash in the word Num-ber. You do this with a lot of them, then towards the end stop doing it. I would get rid of the dash.
In your description of Wealthy Affiliate I would hammer a lot more on how you get free hosting and one free domain for the base paid membership.
As well as support for your site that is perfect for beginners like us who have no technical knowledge of coding. Their support steps above and beyond in taking care of the many mistakes possible for newbies with no experience.
That would be a huge upsell I would push harder, as many reading this still might be in doubt because of the technical hurdles one will face.
Notice in my example I used the phrase like us. This offers several connections, as you put yourself on the low level of understanding the tech. This is huge in highlighting you know all to well how intimidating it can be, which is likely one of the largest impediments for folks doing this. Especially if they are older as your site seems to be targeting.
Also important off of this is they are seeing proof it works as they are on a page you built despite your common handicap you shared with them when you first signed up.
Maybe even say something along the lines of how intimidated you were at first, how you never could have imagined building a page like the one they are on, yet here we are now after the training.
My apologies, I'm meandering a bit here.
I would also consider using some of your game plan areas and make them into future posts that you can go more in depth as well as create internal links with.
I know this comes across as critical, but honestly this is a huge improvement from the first time I read this.
Regards,
Jason
Hello Jason,
Thank you for taking the time to read my post again. It was a lot to ask, so I do appreciate it.
Your second critique opened my eyes, and I remembered that ParthaB said to write every post so it can stand on its own. Put in everything you need to say, so that the reader does not need to look elsewhere for the information he wants.
I was afraid of repeating myself with each post, but that is what I should do!
I just need to say the same thing in a different way.
Your criticism bears this out!
While it was direct it was absolutely helpful!
You have taught me the importance of making an honest and helpful review of someone's work. I so appreciate the alternatives you gave.
I will not edit the chicken and egg post again, as I have had enough of it.
I have copied your ideas and I will be implementing them in my next post.
I just have not decided what it will be about yet.
I also like the idea of using the game plans in future posts and using internal links. I forgot about the free hosting and free domain too. That needs to be said.
It is significant that you read with such depth and brought so much out.
You have a future in proofreading!
May I call on you again, one day?
Have a great week!
Corinne
I appreciate your receptiveness, thank you.
I'm glad you saw some things as well as gave some context for something Partha had mentioned.
You can feel free anytime to ask questions. It might take me a day or two to respond as sometimes I don't log on daily or have time. But I'll definitely get back to you, for sure.
Regards,
Jason
Thank you Jason.
Regards.