People Will Forget What You Say, But They'll Never Forget How You Made Them Feel

byCATaylor

362 followers

7 years ago

We live in Kansas. Rural Kansas.

There are towns here with less than 500 people, and so when it comes to team sports and activities, there may or may not be enough kids to play. Even if a team has enough kiddo's, families are busy in the summer.

Kids camps, family vacations, sports activities.

My June is always consumed by softball. Our local recreatiion commissions get together to form a low-cost softball league for kids who want to play, up to age 13. The coaches are volunteers and parents of players. Don't get me wrong, it's still a highly competitive ball league.

Last Wednesday night we played in Chase, KS. Chase is one of those small towns 8 miles down the road that has less than 500 people. Their team had a bunch of girls gone to camp and weren't going to have enough players for a game.

My daughter and two other girls from our team were traded over to Chase so they'd have enough players, and it was game on.

But..in her mind, my daughter thought that her own team had given her to the other team because she was one of the worst players and they didn't need her. She wasn't happy about it.

I didn't really know what to say, but I told her, "You will always gain more in life by helping others get what they want than just working towards what you want." and in this case, both teams wanted to play and win. Chase lost by 2 points that night, but it was really a win in those girls' eyes. They got to play the game they love and I'm proud of my daughter for stepping up.

She got much needed support, appreciation, and was happy she got to play.

And then it was time for the second game of the double header. My daughter was passed over to play for her own team. She didn't go out to play on the field and she didn't bat in the game either.

I was pretty upset and I could feel the disappointment oozing from her over in the dugout.

What I really wanted to do was hug her and tell her coaches how much they sucked for disappointing my little girl like this.

But I quietly encouraged her to stand up and cheer on her teammates anyway. That is a part of being a team, no matter what.

Feelings Long Forgotten

Mostly, what really got me was a feeling from long ago. A memory I had from when I was a child, about her age. I remember being passed over to play on the softball field, and the basketball court, even though I knew I should have been out there. And those feelings still creep up on me, 25 years later.

I felt not good enough.

I felt like I wasn't valued.

I wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I wanted to hide under a rock.

I didn't quit softball that summer. I wanted to pitch, and that's what I practiced. I wanted to be a good hitter, and that's what I practiced. I wanted to catch any ball that came my way, and that's what I practiced.

I ended up being the starting pitcher for my team later in the season.

But the feelings of ineptitude still to this day keep jumping on my back and choking the courage out of me.

One day, I'm so determined to do this affiliate marketing with Wealthy Affiliate.

I know this can work for me, I know I can do it.

I have everything I need right here.

And then the self-doubt starts to creep in. I tell myself I don't know enough. I need to learn more. So I go waste another day learning. Learning how to write copy. Learning how to do FBA shipping. Learning how to do network marketing. Learning how to use Clickfunnels. Learning how to blah, blah, blah. I literally know so much that I feel like I know nothing. I come back to Wealthy Affiliate, because I know everything I need is right here...waiting for me to take advantage.

How Do I Overcome Those Feelings?

I know I can do this. I want to do this. I want to write articles about stuff and share my feelings and opinions. I want to give value to people and help them avoid the struggle I've went through.

But that voice in my head tells me nobody will care.

Nobody will see my words as valuable.

I've been passed over to many times.

I'm broken and damaged.

I'm a failure.

Changing That Mind-Set

Driving home from the game that night, I wasn't sure what to say. I asked her if she was okay.

She told me she wasn't going to camp next week.

She wants to stay and play softball with her team. We've been practicing every evening when I get home from work and she is more determined than ever to work hard to get better and be more valuable to her team.

I gently reminded her that we will keep practicing and when she does get her chance to play, she will be ready and show them how valuable and talented she really is.

Hard work, dedication, and persistance. Quitting will not get you anywhere. I've always believed these things, and I tell her that all the time. These are the things that I live my life by.

You see, I read the books. I listen to the YouTube videos. I try to do things daily to put myself in the right mindset. I know anything worth doing takes time. And practice. And hard work. I teach these things to my daughters every day.

I'm not broken. I'm learning. I'll never quit.

I need a network. I need people. I need accountability. What are the best ways to network here at WA? If you're willing to help me, please leave me a message below, or send me a PM. I'd love to connect with you and grow a network.