Familiarity breeds contempt.

One of the largest impediments for a large segment of folks can be summed up with the title of this post.

Familiarity Breeds Contempt.

It's the impetus for many a failed marriage/relationship. It's the impetus for many folks being so addicted to attention from social media they literally ignore the folks around them in the physical who are supposed to mean the most to them.

TO KNOW ME IS TO HATE ME.

Pretty strong statement. Sadly I sometimes wonder If that result is better than the norm of familiarity, which is an apathy that often give birth to resentment.

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, NOW STOP BOTHERING ME!

To quote one of the greatest singer songwriters of all time, Gordon Lightfoot.

"You know that ghost is me
and I will never be set free
as long as I'm a ghost that you can't see."

"And if you read between the lines
You'll know that I'm just trying to understand
The feelings that you lack"

* From the song If You Could Read My Mind.

Of course that is an extreme example. Most often it is hardly noticeable. A slow slippery slide that one day the person wakes up and realizes nothing is the same, and there has been anger and discontent and worse, apathy for longer than they can remember.

What does this have to do with blogging?

I'm glad you asked. Now we can get to the crux of the matter.

Many folks online are looking for a way not to be the ghost. Seeking affirmations either through buying something or associating with others who SEE THEM.

One of the most important recurring themes we see pitched here is writing to your audience.

To do this you have to SEE THEM.

They are literally crying inside for someone, anyone to see them. To understand them, their desires, their passions. Their outlets.

They walk alone as a ghost in their life most likely. Almost no one gets their passion, gets their sacredness. Has a spare moment to unhook from their own narcissistic pursuit to take a breath and see them as they are.

If you understand this about others, understand this about YOURSELF, you will easily be able to write to your audience in such a compelling way they will open to you. Open to the rare person who gets it, who sees them.

Nature or Nurture?

A time old debate that really doesn't matter at the finish line.

Doesn't matter at all whether it is genetic or taught.

Understanding it exists is the tool to both healing the wound in ones soul and then recognizing it in others.

It doesn't matter what your niche is, if you can write in such a way that your audience feels at home. feels you SEE them your blog will be a smashing success.

I would offer a proof the vast amount of folks who pay for counseling whose real problem is just needing to the point of desperation for just one person to see them. To honor them and really listen and care.

This is in no way saying there aren't many folks who have legitimate issues who need counseling. But it is a truth nonetheless that many are hard pressed to find someone who will stop being apathetic and just listen for once. And can only find that by paying someone to listen.

Some great advice I saw here.

Hold imaginary conversations with your audience. Pay attention to what they say in your imagination. What their fears are. What their joys are. What their goals are.

Once your blog starts getting comments, pay attention to all of this there especially.

Engage with them. Don't just answer them. Leave them engaging replies that invite them to share more. Replies designed to let them know YOU CAN SEE THEM.

Master the art of not holding contempt for the familiar.

It will allow you to not only connect with your audience, but will also go far in soothing your own agitations.

I hope you found this enjoyable and a tool you can use in connecting with your audience.

Have a great rest of your weekend.

Regards,

Jason