Familiarity breeds contempt.
One of the largest impediments for a large segment of folks can be summed up with the title of this post.
Familiarity Breeds Contempt.
It's the impetus for many a failed marriage/relationship. It's the impetus for many folks being so addicted to attention from social media they literally ignore the folks around them in the physical who are supposed to mean the most to them.
TO KNOW ME IS TO HATE ME.
Pretty strong statement. Sadly I sometimes wonder If that result is better than the norm of familiarity, which is an apathy that often give birth to resentment.
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, NOW STOP BOTHERING ME!
To quote one of the greatest singer songwriters of all time, Gordon Lightfoot.
"You know that ghost is me
and I will never be set free
as long as I'm a ghost that you can't see."
"And if you read between the lines
You'll know that I'm just trying to understand
The feelings that you lack"
* From the song If You Could Read My Mind.
Of course that is an extreme example. Most often it is hardly noticeable. A slow slippery slide that one day the person wakes up and realizes nothing is the same, and there has been anger and discontent and worse, apathy for longer than they can remember.
What does this have to do with blogging?
I'm glad you asked. Now we can get to the crux of the matter.
Many folks online are looking for a way not to be the ghost. Seeking affirmations either through buying something or associating with others who SEE THEM.
One of the most important recurring themes we see pitched here is writing to your audience.
To do this you have to SEE THEM.
They are literally crying inside for someone, anyone to see them. To understand them, their desires, their passions. Their outlets.
They walk alone as a ghost in their life most likely. Almost no one gets their passion, gets their sacredness. Has a spare moment to unhook from their own narcissistic pursuit to take a breath and see them as they are.
If you understand this about others, understand this about YOURSELF, you will easily be able to write to your audience in such a compelling way they will open to you. Open to the rare person who gets it, who sees them.
Nature or Nurture?
A time old debate that really doesn't matter at the finish line.
Doesn't matter at all whether it is genetic or taught.
Understanding it exists is the tool to both healing the wound in ones soul and then recognizing it in others.
It doesn't matter what your niche is, if you can write in such a way that your audience feels at home. feels you SEE them your blog will be a smashing success.
I would offer a proof the vast amount of folks who pay for counseling whose real problem is just needing to the point of desperation for just one person to see them. To honor them and really listen and care.
This is in no way saying there aren't many folks who have legitimate issues who need counseling. But it is a truth nonetheless that many are hard pressed to find someone who will stop being apathetic and just listen for once. And can only find that by paying someone to listen.
Some great advice I saw here.
Hold imaginary conversations with your audience. Pay attention to what they say in your imagination. What their fears are. What their joys are. What their goals are.
Once your blog starts getting comments, pay attention to all of this there especially.
Engage with them. Don't just answer them. Leave them engaging replies that invite them to share more. Replies designed to let them know YOU CAN SEE THEM.
Master the art of not holding contempt for the familiar.
It will allow you to not only connect with your audience, but will also go far in soothing your own agitations.
I hope you found this enjoyable and a tool you can use in connecting with your audience.
Have a great rest of your weekend.
Regards,
Jason
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Recent Comments
37
Hello Sting!
Hope you’re feeling better!
As I was reading your beautifully written deep, profound post with my half- awake brain, it determined 2 things: that the infection is now halted, and you were able to compose a salient message that everyone should read; and that your mother is right ~ You are special!
“ Master the art of not holding contempt for the familiar “ - well, that’s pivotal! It is important to avoid feeling disdain towards things or people that we are already familiar with, and to instead find ways to appreciate and value them. This can be challenging as familiarity can breed complacency or a sense of boredom, but it’s important to recognize the worth of what we already have in our lives and to avoid taking it for granted. By cultivating a mindset of gratitude and openness, we can find new ways to see the familiar in a positive light and continue to derive value from it!
Now you have woken up my sleepy brain, reminding me to start preparing! So out of bed I shall be, and off to work I go!
Thank you Sting! This post is significant!
May you have a really good rest/ sleep to prepare for tonight’s work!
Cheers,
Maria 🌹
Hi Maria,
I appreciate your assessment. Thank you.
I believe the infection has been gone for some days now, and just the fluid in my ear and an annoying knot in my shoulder blade.
It's so easy to lose sight of the value on the mundane areas of our lives, many often only finding once they are gone how sorely they are missed.
Made all to often easier to disregard when we rush through our moments with no sense of pride in what we have classified as the non important areas. I've found taking pride in our so called smaller moments helps a bit in appreciating the world around us.
I hope work went well for you. I came home and shortly took a small nap myself. I'll be up for a few hours and then lay down again.
If you work tonight hope you are getting a restful sleep.
Regards,
Jason
I'm glad your nights flew by. I also get the first day off is worthless, hah hah.
You must be getting excited for your trip. :)
I responded elsewhere on the latter part of your comment.
Thank you.
Regards,
Jason
So much wisdom in one piece. This should be compulsory reading for everyone. A great reminder Jason. As Frank says this is so much easier if you are genuinely interested in your niche.
Now I have to edit my comment because I have just read Brenda's profound wisdom too. That is something else you can do in, in fact it is two things you can do.
1.You can edit your text to put your take on a specific comment. This is good for two reasons it keeps your blog fresh and acknowledges you see you readers
2 You can cross reference a second comment when replying to a comment
Thank you so much for the kind words. :)
Definitely helps to know and love your niche. Mine is pretty wide on mine, and deals with arbitrage systems I've used for almost 40 years in one form or another.
I keep meaning to tell you, I really adore the way you put the word The in front of your name. It definitely captures ones attention, hah hah.
Regards,
Jason
I wanted to follow up on your edit.
I love the idea of editing a post to shine the spotlight on a comment. Especially your second take on cross referencing comments which invites a dialogue between visitors.
I noted many years ago that the most successful Reddit posts had the real gold taking place on the rich comment sections. If ever we can have a blog that does that we have some real gold being made.
Thanks for the follow up edit commenting on Brenda's comment. She is definitely throwing lots of wisdom and how to best practices here at WA.
Regards,
Jason
I will let you into a little secret Jason. Even though I came here fifteen years ago , there was a Catherine. So I had to be creative.
That is a fantastic niche as well.
It has much more impact this way. You were the 9th account I followed when I got here, and I looked at your blog because of that word in front of your name. I saw how rich your blog, question and training section were and knew you were one to follow. But definitely The is what drew me to look at your profile when I first got here.
Regards,
Jason
Brenda is indeed a force to be reckoned with. Says me resisting the temptation to go and write a story about her achievements. Thanks Jason for your lovely comments
I look forward to you losing the battle of resisting and writing that story on her achievements. Edification is just the right soil for magical transformations. Plus it will possibly direct others who haven't understood her genius to go take a look and get some real meat to chew for their own growth.
You are one of the more respected members here for a long time, and your edification of her would likely have a further reach than you might imagine.
I need to get going soon. Thanks so much for visiting and your own kind comments. I have to work tonight and need to lay down soon.
Regards,
Jason
Jason thank you for those lovely comments. I think that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me at WA. Have a productive evening
I am always serious. I was born serious. However one thing being a digital nomad in Mexico has brought out in me is a deprecating sense of humour. The Mexicans don't take themselves too seriously, they constantly laugh at themselves. And often you but they are bringing you into their benevolence, not being nasty
I think you are correct in that. As my brother says
" Nothing matters, but everything makes a difference" Leo Soloman
Hi, Jason
Great post! 👍
Luckily, I have a niche that makes it easy to communicate with my audience because I eat, breathe, and sleep guitars; in a sense. Lol. So, I rarely get a comment regarding something musical that I haven't had a personal experience with or an amusing story to share.
Unfortunately, it's easy to miss some awesome song lyrics when you concentrate more on what's happening with the instruments, but there are some really outstanding messages in the vocals.
My wife and I have little interest in non-business-related social channels. We spend time together each day without the intrusion of electronic devices and have lots of great family members and friends we see regularly. It's been that way for over 27 years.
Rock On! 🤘
Frank🎸
Hi Frank.
Yes, you are a perfect example of someone who loves their niche. I'm often blown away if I mention a performance and you start telling me the history of the guitar the artist was using for that particular performance.
I've always been drawn to both the instruments and words. Part of why I can't get into metal for many years, they scream often in such a manner you can't understand what they are screaming. I often think the bands should ditch the singer and be pure instrumental like Satriani, hah hah.
I think it extremely healthy you and your wife enjoy one another and spend time together seeing one another. So many don't and it results in a breakdown.
Thanks so much for reading and the great reply.
Regards,
Jason
Lol, Thanks, Jason! You're way too kind.
I'm really a musician, cleverly disguised as a physician! Haha. I get to help people AND play music!
A friend of mine is a priest that went to medical school and has been with "Doctors Without Borders" for years, bringing religion and medical care to those in need in third-world countries. I only wish I was that awesome!
When I lived in Italy, I learned that the Vatican has a medical school that primarily grants priests admission.
Yeah, precious relationships require a lot of attention, just like anything else. My wife and family are more important to me than anything.
I get what you mean about some types of Metal, but for me, I can easily ignore the lyrics if I like the music. By the way, not everything that Joe Satriani did was instrumental-only.
Check this out: (I don't promote Joe Satriani, but I wish I did!)
https://youtu.be/3lWfh8F3g_8
Haha, he actually had hair! 😎
Rock On!🤘
Frank🎸
Yeah, I have that CD in a box somewhere, hah hah.
I think you are cool enough the way you are. :)
Regards,
Jason
Hi Jason, this is a profoundly philosophical and psychological subject that is well fitting for every blogger. We must see who our audience is and understand their pain with empathy. Even if they say bad things to you by calling whatever you write on your website blog that is a scam.
You will get negative comments. I already have twice. I responded empathetically and encouraged further engagement by asking them to share their experiences. A few were willing to disclose publicly. Others chose to do it privately.
I love how you weave in and out your word to go deeper, which many struggle to achieve. Thanks for sharing this profound thought. I saved this.
We all need to go deeper to understand our readers if we don't then what's the point of writing a blog post? It's for them!
Hi Brenda,
Thanks so much for the kind assessment.
You are right in your addition of even the negative comments are an area a connection is possible. Perhaps not even with the person doing the negative, but for others who witness the exchange.
I really appreciate you like my writing. I sometimes have doubts myself that many would want to read about these kind of thoughts.
You said
"We all need to go deeper to understand our readers if we don't then what's the point of writing a blog post? It's for them!"
This sums it up completely. I see many come here and immediately ask how quick they can make money, and I already predict to myself they will likely fail. It was never about connecting for them, just about how to make others an ATM machine. No connection can be had there, any visitors they get will be a ghost to them they can't see.
Hope you're having a nice weekend. I need to lay back down in an hour or so to rest up for work tonight.
Regards,
Jason
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Very compelling post, indeed, Jason! Some deep thoughts here, my friend!
We need to keep these things in mind!
Jeff
Indeed we do Jeff.
Happy Montuewethur
Haha! Yes, Happy Montuwether! I used that a time or two in the past!
Enjoy your new week to the fullest, Jason!
Jeff