Rainy Day Reflections: Happiness.

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6 years ago

Sundays and rainy days seem to be perfect for reflections. On Sundays, we can reflect on what we have achieved during the week and plan ahead. On rainy days it just seems easier to write. Here, in this post, I would like to reflect on life in general. I have been thinking about life a lot lately. I am not sure why...it may be the age. When I was in my twenties, I wanted to travel as much as possible, learn foreign languages, meet new people and make friends. In a nutshell, I would describe that period as quantity. I wanted to absorb everything - the more the better. Now priorities have changed. I have made a shift from quantity to quality. I call it a change from plenty of stuff to little of the good stuff. I have always been searching for answers to questions: What is happiness? Is it possible to live a happy life? If yes, how to achieve it? We can find answers everywhere: in books, TED videos, when talking to people, going to workshops and resources are endless. Here is what I have learnt recently.

The PERMA Model

Martin Seligman developed a well-being theory. The foundation of the theory is the PERMA model. He talks about such components of well-being as:

positive emotions;
engagement;
positive relationships;
meaning and
achievement.

If we have all of this in life then, according to the theory, we will thrive and be happy!

Pathways to Happiness

In June this year, I attended a public seminar on happiness. Shane Martin, a psychologist based in Ireland. His areas of research are empowerment, recovery and happiness. During the seminar he shared the following qualities which may bring us happiness:

being here;
being grateful;
have fun;
have an open mind;
have an open heart and
become and stay social.

7 Life Lessons from a Dog Called Peanut

I need to explain where this came from. I have recently become a pet-parent to a Bernese Mountain pup. He is 6 months-old. His name is Grizzly. Grizzly is such a happy and smart pup, he really brings a lot of love and sunshine into my life. Having said that, this little guy (well, maybe not so little after all as he is 30 kg at the age of 6 months) likes to test my boundaries. When I looked up dog training methods on the Internet, Doggy Dan came up. This guy practices a positive approach to dog training. It resonates with me deeply. I truly believe in patience, positivity and practice. So, these 7 lessons were in one of his newsletters. He wrote this after his beloved dog Peanut passed away.

Choose carefully who you hang around with.
Better to be happy than right.
Practice unconditional love.
If you are calm, it will make calm those around you.
Master the art of patience.
Silence is golden.
Be here now and experience love.

Is It Easy To Be Happy?

I find happiness a bit tricky. On the one hand, it is considered to be an inside job, it is our personal choice, on the other hand, we need other people to be happy and experience happiness. A number of longitude studies showed that positive and meaningful relationships contribute to a happy life, life well-lived. What is interesting, one of the studies actually talked about friends who can lend you money (it may be a real test of friendship, perhaps) and an ability to establish rapport with strangers: when you talk to somebody on the daily commute to work or in a queue. It is not just about family, friends and co-workers. Even clean air, good food, amount and regularity of exercise - they turn out to be not as important as social interaction, having said that I believe in looking after yourself since young.

If we believe that we need other human beings to experience a state of happiness, then in order to be happy we need to put an effort into it.

How To Achieve Happiness?

This may be an easy or a hard question to answer. If you ask me, I will give you several answers. Sometimes all I need to feel happy is to be in my garden, admire wildflowers patch or go with my dog for a walk. Sometimes I feel that it would make me happy if I won a lotto. It would give me a chance to help my family, donate to charity organisations, spend more time with my family and do things I love most.

In my opinion, a simple gratitude exercise will help. There are many ways to express gratitude. You may use a gratitude journal, an application on your phone, or simply spend a few minutes on counting your blessings when you are in bed. Go beyond the obvious: health, family, friends.

You can go deeper and do "Three Blessings" exercise. In this exercise, you need to reflect on what went well and why.

Morning or evening meditation may give us a feeling of bliss as well.

Is Happiness Enough For You?

Happiness doesn't last long. Do we need something else which will drive us forward, something which will last longer and give our life more meaning?

When I think about happy life the following words come to my mind:

meaningful;
with a purpose;
balanced and
simple.

Happiness doesn't last long. Do we need something else which will drive us forward, something which will last longer and give our life more meaning?

Personally, I express my emotions inside, quietly. So, if and when I am happy it goes unnoticed for those around me. At the same time, it is always easier for me to write about my emotions than express them. Sometimes my family and friends ask me, "Are you happy?" And I reply, ''Yes, very!''. To which they say, "Well, you don't look it." That's me. I don't jump up and down with joy, but I feel a wide range of emotions. I appreciate silence, calm, balance, meaning and simplicity in life. I need to be driven, have a purpose, my life needs to have a clear direction.

Also, I am a firm believer in that we ourselves make life complicated. I feel great when I am contented, my environment (physical and digital) is not cluttered, then I can live in the moment and really focus.

Still, happiness or contentment (put your equivalent here) is a choice. Make the right one!

Let me know what you think and have a great time here at WA: learn, make friends, make your dreams come true and have fun along the way!