Critique my fledgling site

3
483 followers
Updated

I took a break from writing my About Me because it didn't sound quite right the night I wrote it. As a writer, when that happens, I know it is time to back off and come at it with fresh eyes.

With all that said, I just published the About Me page, so according to the Getting Started Level 1 course, I am finished. Would you be willing to let me know what you think of it so far? As scary as this is to put my "stuff" out there, I know I will only be able to improve if I can get feedback. Anything - is fair game - the theme, run-on sentences (I tend to have problems with those! lol), grammar, spelling, etc.

Here is my site:

http://buildyourbusinesswithgreetingcards.siterubix.com

Thanks!

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Recent Comments

15

Your site url is not clickable

I tried to go to your site. not working so delete it and I will try again later. ; O)

I just checked out what I told you about and it is kelliknows

Sorry again.

Yeah, I am not sure what is up with the site. I can't seem to get it to come up either. Thanks for letting me know - at least I know it is not a problem here.

I stopped by,,,, : O) great job!

Oh you are right I wasn't thinking sorry ; O( I will go fix it and you can delete the other.

Hi Amanda! Thanks for your comment and for being the first to take a look at my site!

Yes, it is true that only the first sentence of the page was about me, but I think I remember Kyle saying that the About Me page was about the person reading it. Maybe I should check on that again. It's hard exposing myself this way, which is one of the big reasons I never blogged before. I will see if I can beef that part about me up a bit.

An attack on businesses with poor customer service? Well, it might be. But I can see what you are saying and that the business owners who are visiting don't need that.

In terms of what I will be talking about, there is one service that I hope to promote with this - the greeting card service that I use...but my point is to let businesses know that there are so many ways to be engaged with their customers, that they don't have to lose their customers to perceived apathy. So I'm not sure how to talk about how it helped me, except by mentioning the service that I market - does that make sense?

I better do some work quick on the page, eh? ;-)

Thanks again for stopping by and for your valuable feedback. I appreciate you!

No worries. You are way past me. I don't like writing about myself. I find that it's more difficult than the subject I'm actually interested in. My About Me page is mostly blank. You encourage me to plug in anyway!

Well when you have a chance, perhaps you can take a look again. I put in a bit more info about myself, took the parts out that were besides the point of the website, and reworded some things.

And yes, writing about myself is way harder than putting a newspaper story (what I did for five years) or articles. Anyway, I shall persevere. I feel much lighter knowing I have completed that step. I am a reforming box-checker and it bothered me that I could not check that box off!! LOL

Your take 2 is awesome! (Want to write mine :P) Some minor stuff to fix but it's small stuff that's easy to gloss over.

You are so kind! :-)

What kind of small things do I need to fix? C'mon now, you can't leave me hanging like that!! ;-)

I sent you a PM for those.

Thanks! Fixed them. :-)

Hi. The page may be improved if you just stick to your life and CV and a few reasons you are motivated by what you do.

There are parts in the page that to me could make a good post instead.

Second comment. I would use a theme where there is a narrow header instead of the one you use with the huge photo. On entry to the site your home page content is hidden below fold.

Try to use a smaller image or none if possible. You may have to change themes since I think you started with the default Wordpress 2010/11/12.

I love what you wrote, but I feel like the only thing that pertained to you was the first sentence. How has it helped you and your business specifically? It also kind of sounds like an attack on businesses with poor customer service. If they have come to your site, aren't they taking a step in the right direction? Maybe imply you too struggled in that area but after trial and error, found the solution.

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