7 things...

I've never been all that great of a guy. Sometimes I wonder if I've ever had a pure motive in my entire life. I mean, I really want to, but my ego, pride or selfish nature always seems to show up, if only in the form of a shadow. I really, really want to be a really really good guy, but never pull it off 100%... sometimes I don't even come close. That said, I still try.

Years ago I was involved in a very nasty airplane crash and came as close to death as I care to. There were so many people, some who I don't even know, who did wonderful things for me that so impacted my life. There is a lot of talk about paying it forward at WA. There were a lot of people who paid it forward through acts of kindness to me when I was going through that difficult time. I try to make an effort to do the same once in a while. With that in mind, and since it is Christmas after all, I'd like to throw out 7 ideas I think we all should try and do now and then...

1. Hand write a personal note to a friend or a family member... and let them know how much you appreciate them. Hand deliver it or mail it to them instead of using technology.

Every few years, my mother, bless her heart, pulls our family together for a reunion. My mom is one of the most loving, dedicated mother, wife and grandmother I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. The older I get the more I realize how extremely fortunate I was to be born into my family. Mom always does such a great job organizing family events, and there are always fun activities, door prizes, games, exercises and fantastic food made from scratch.

During this particular reunion, mom had a pile of 3 X 5 cards for each person in my family, each card having one family members name on it. During the week of the reunion, she asked each of us to write a personal note about each family member on the cards, describing something we admired about that person and why we loved them. I think everybody cried at least once reading their cards at the end of the reunion. I know I did. I was so touched. I keep a couple of those cards in my wallet, and pull them out and read them whenever I'm having a low moment.

2. Give money to someone who needs it... and do it anonymously and in a big way if you can.

It was a couple of years after my accident and I was finally able to distance myself from the hospital a little. I'd moved into a house close to my parents as I had more surgeries in the future and still needed care. Mom and dad were a huge support to me during that time, and came over often to help me do all the things I could not do.

It was the two days before Christmas, and I was dead broke. I had to sell everything to cover medical bills and living expenses and I was still drowning in debt. My son was three years old now, I could hardly keep food on the table and clothes on his back, let alone buy him a present for Christmas. I had seven dollars in my wallet, and nothing else... not even change.

At one point I hobbled down the road a ways, just to get out of the house. I like to think I'm an upbeat guy, but I was pretty bummed about not being able to get anything for my boy for Christmas. In the bigger scope of things, I guess it was no big deal, but if you have children, I know you can relate.

After about an hour, I made my way back to the house, and walked inside to rest. Sitting on a desk I had set up in the dining room were 5 crisp 100 dollar bills. I couldn't believe it. You have no idea how HUGE that was for me. Gratitude began to flow through my body like adrenaline after a good scare.

To this day, I do not know who snuck into my house and left that money for me. No one ever fessed up. It was just a few hundred bucks, but it left a million dollar impression on me.

3. Figure out a way to show someone you care... It was the my first time they let me out of the hospital since my accident. It had been many months since the airplane crash. I was very disfigured, still bandaged over most of my body and in a full jobst suit. I had all kinds of medical contraptions hanging of my arms, my hands, in my mouth and on my head. I looked a mess.

One of my physical therapists, Patti, decided it would be a good idea for me to go to the mall. When you are messed up as bad as I was, it takes a bit of getting used to being disfigured, and this was the start of that process. We parked in a handicapped spot and walked into the mall. As I shuffled down the middle of the mall, people stared. I didn't really mind as I expected as much, and I know that I would be giving someone a second look if they were in the condition I was in.

I could only walk for about a hundred feet before I ran out of gas and had to rest. I sat down on a bench to recuperate, and as I did, I caught the eye of an elderly lady who was looking at me more intent than most of the others. As I quietly sat on the bench, the little lady made her way over and sat down next to me. She put her arm around me and tears ran down her cheeks as she began to softly cry. She sat with me like that for two or three minutes and never said a word. Then, she got up, wiped her tears away, smiled at me and walked away.

I don't know who that little elderly lady was... but I know she cared.

4. Give some of your time... My mom used to tell me the way you spell LOVE is T-I-M-E. I think there is truth to that. There are a millions of people in this world that would benefit from your time. Pick one and give them some. Mentor the kid that has no father, visit the shut in or person in prison. Spend time with a stranger, your niece, your son or your daughter. It's the most valuable possession you have. Invest some of it in someone for no particular reason.

5. Provide something gratuitous... Do you know someone that could use your help? Someone that would benefit from something you do or something you know? Are you an accountant, a window washer, a carpenter or a carpet cleaner. Maybe you do body work, you own a restaurant or you provide landscape maintenance. After my accident, I sold everying to pay bills, including my cars. A local car dealer who heard about my accident let me use a car off his lot for a year. One of my doctors said it would be very good for me to try to play golf again. Anothoer local fellow who also heard about my accident and owned a golf course, let me play free for two years. May God bless both those guys. Whatever it is you do, try doing a small portion of your work without charge. I bet you will be glad you did.

6. Give to a charity... You kind of have to pick and choose here, as there are some that burn up a lot of money on administration and visibility, but there are some good ones out there. Some that I have vetted and am personally involved with are LEAP, New Avenues for Youth, Grace House, Project Patch, and Wounded Warriors. Write a check to support a good cause this year.

7. Start doing some random acts of kindness... This is one of my favorite ideas. It's rewarding and fun.

I was having dinner with my father a while back, which is something I like doing on a regular basis. Usually, he and I spar over the bill attempting to buy each other dinner. It's probably a control issue on his end and a fight for independence on my end more than it is a gesture of good will, but we thrust and parry in an attempt to buy dinner all the same.

On this particular evening we we're enjoying dinner at a local seafood restaurant, when the waiter came forward to declare that our bill had been paid in full, including the gratuity, by another patron who wished to remain anonymous. Dad and I we're both shocked and quite touched that a stranger would be so kind. :) A great example of a random act of kindness, and a reminder for Dad and I to come up with a few random acts of kindess of our own.

Merry Christmas to you...

Rico