DON'T do anything. I'm only venting!
Have you ever felt utterly helpless and useless just listening to someone pouring their heart out, and you cannot do anything?
When my 16-year-old daughter mentioned how unfairly she was being treated while working at McDonald's, I immediately went into mother mode and called the manager and got a transfer for her.
That was two months ago.
She didn't accept the transfer.
Now every weekend, I have to sit and listen to her crying her heart out while clenching my fist and trying to support her
But it is hard because, before each complaint, she tells me that I shouldn't do anything; she is just venting.
How can anyone sit and do nothing?
Especially me.
I believe in nipping things in the bud setting ground rules and boundaries to prevent any confusion.
I always act assertively in everything that I do. I'm not talking like an adult. I was always thinking this way.
If I am uncomfortable with anything, I need to speak up and get it sorted out as soon as possible.
Now MacDonalds is changing her shift and putting her to work after school in the week when they are fully aware that she is completing 6 form
Isn't that taking advantage?
My hands are tied at the moment.
I am in the mind of forgetting what she is asking of me and defending her, but at the same time, I want her to be assertive and sort this out for herself.
What would you do?
Any advice is gladly welcome.
Until next time,
Simone.
Recent Comments
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Part of becoming an adult, Simone, is learning how to stand up for our rights. If your daughter doesn't want you to speak to the management on her behalf then she should explain to them why the shift change wont work for her. If she doesn't want to do either then she should not complain about it.
I would offer to go with her to speak to management but let her do the talking. A reminder to both of them that she is still under age and school is more important at this time than work.
This situation does not help your stress level either.
Archie
Oh, yes, Archie
Just one of the many stress related situations that I am presently dealing with.
And they are 3 girls
I leave you to your imagination :)
I am leaving her to making her own decision at the minute
Just waiting for her to take that step
Thank you for your ongoing support
I appreciate you
I don’t like interfering in peoples families, but if it were me I would treat it as a lesson for your daughter. You will not always be there to stick up for her. She will have tougher problems later in life If you jump in here and fix it, she may not be prepared emotionally for the next hurdle in her life.
I did this with my kids and now they can stand up for themselves in most situations. But just me.
Stephen
You're absolutely correct
That's how I'm seeing it as well
Just provide a listening ear and let her make her own decisions
Thank you for your support
Simone,
I think you know the answer and are trying your best to support her on the sidelines quietly. This support is a gift to her that allows her to experience the successes and, yes, maybe even the setbacks of standing up for herself. I learned the hard way that my "help" was giving my daughter the message that I didn't' trust that she could figure it out on her own. As a result, my daughter didn't build her self-confidence while living in the safety of my home, but when she was away at college where there was less support and listening!
You are doing a great job, and if you are like me, it's hardest to deal with our anxiety about not having total control over a stressful situation. That is where growth happens as we sit with our anxiety and allow our children to learn and grow!
This is just my opinion, take what you like and leave the rest!
Erlene
Erlene, I will take everything you've said.
You've just described the situation toa T
Thank you for this
I appreciate you
This is the proverbial rock and a hard place. So many good comments and suggestions in here. All I can say is continue holding your child in your motherly hands, with all the advise and support you can provide. Since she decided to stay, I believe there is strength inside her to tough it out, unfortunately she will need to find that strength on all those days she goes to work, which is tough for a child. I am sure you will help her find this strength - the tears cant continue forever after all
Time to use this experience to become a greater person in future 👌
I really hope it will make her a stronger person
And she will.use this experience as a foundation for future reference
Thank you for your awesome points
It was lovely hearing from you
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You are not helpless and have your hands tied. You are her mother and it's your job to guide her and help her understand why. Being assertive merely for the sake of being assertive is not useful. She needs to decide what she wants, why she wants it, then go for it. Beyond that, she doesn't get the right to whine daily over this. Fix it or be quiet. Otherwise it will be a pattern she will duplicate through her entire life. Her poor future husband!
Come on Mama, I know you want to protect your cub, but you're not finished teaching her how to be a good adult yet.
Words of wisdom you speak, Jeannine
She really need to decide on wgat she wants.
I will continue to teach and guide her Jeannie
It is definitely my job to help.her to make the correct choices
Thank you for your solid words of recommendation and positive tips
It was lovely hearing from you