I've been reading adventure novels.
Last Update: Feb 21, 2014
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I'm about to start a friendly tousle with Dictionary.com - I'm keeping it friendly while still getting the results I want and because I come from the foreign land of the unusual (postage code ODD) I wrote it this way. I composed this email shortly after I woke-up, while having a bitter cup of coffee, and because Mrs. Greene's teachings are once again vivid on my mind, I'm going to wait a few hours before I send it.
Here is guys. How does it sound to you?
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I cried; foul! I say to you evenly. Bloody murder! I held one chubby finger up and stabbed holes savagely in the air at your direction, Dictionary.com (Yes, I admit it, I've been reading adventure novels.)
I felt bamboozled. Now, however, I feel much calmer because I know that you well read people will make it all better. See, I've been doing quite a bit of writing these past couple of weeks, consequently I've been relying ever more than usual on your software, truth is, that yours is the only dictionary I care for. Given that fact, I thought to myself; "This is good software, there is nothing snobbish or prima donnaish about it, I'd do well to just buy it." I did.
Everything should had been smooth sailings from here on out, everything should had been okay.
But here I am now, and it is not, okay! Bear with me and read a little further. I've been using the freeware version of this app for the iPad for a couple of years. Two days ago I went ahead and purchased the "Power Pack" upgrade and it was dandy, but I still didn't feel that I had the experience I wanted. What I really craved turns out to be, was for those eyesores of ads be gone from my field of vision, so I upgraded to the pay version, with me so far? Good.
Well, here is the onion. Having spent my few dollars, I now have two of your apps sitting blue and pretty on my screen. One is riddle with ads and the upgrades, and the other is ad free but without the upgrades that I had purchased the previous evening, do you understand why I am irked? - What I want is just one, ad free and upgrades rich app. Is there any way that we can manage this without spending any more money?
I suggest you lockup one of your software engineers, fuel him with the strongest blend that Starbucks offers and don't let him out till he resolves the problem, or alternately, refund my money. Although, I much rather have the dictionary.
Yours, swimming in ads.
Another gem, Oscar.....if I ever figure out how to post a blog, I'm gonna zap one of these babies out, too....fair warning, not for the faint of heart. Keep up the good work....Jerry Seinfeld would be proud!
Thank you. It is very cool to know that you liked it enough to the point you're contemplating plagiarism. Have fun, I say. Write a pretty phrase :)
Oh my goodness, I would probably type letters threatening with the consumer council by now! That usually works wonders!
I've had great results in the past just by simply writing a funny e-mail. The fine people of Touch Press once sent me the gift codes for Beethoven 9, which is an awesome, jaw dropping software. They did this because of a few funny words on an email. I dislike falling back on cliches yet ... "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar," at least in my case it was true.
I also had great results at Goodreads.com for this little beauty of a line; "why in the name of all the gods up in Olympus and especially in the name of Zeus' butt-hole does the Goodreads' website have the need to copulate with my Facebook account?"
I got a free book out of that colorful turn of phrase.
PS: I pray that isn't too much for this site.
Do try to make it the norm. It has the benefit that you'll have much more fun writing it, instead of getting yourself all worked-up over something insignificant, and also, it comes with the possibilities of freebies.
The more fun you have the more pleasant moments will come your way, I believe.
Delightfully written to make your point! Do, however, check the word "Bare" used a few paragraphs from the top. I'm not sure if it's "bare with me" or "bear with me," but I'm inclined toward the latter. Check your trusty dictionary for the correct usage.
Love you sense if humor!
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Am I to understand you want to unsubscribe from the upgrade? Have all these in my reference bookmark. Rarely use them because I can't use my Reader*.
Apple has the application Dictionary with auto upgrade. When I look up one word I have a dictionary, a thesaurus, wikipedia and Apple resources in one window. No ads.
Safari browser has *Reader next to the URL so I can click to get the window with the article and no ads.
Longshot, I enjoy adventure novels - Quests and Pulp. ^_~
I already resolved the issue with the folks of Dictionary.com, I now own one app, ad free and loaded with all the features I wanted. No freebies, though.
Yes, there are some awesome pulp fictions out there. Michael Crichton's Andromeda Strain, Clive Cussler's Sahara, Raise the Titanic and Charlie Huston's Caught Stealing come to mind. Terrific paperback novels printed in that coarse, cheap paper.