I have been in a dark place and losing so much motivation!

It has been a while since i have communitcated with anyone in Wealthy Affiliate, i have bene staying to myself for reasons. I am still always on checking stats and thinking of better ways to improve and to move forward with my 2 websites now. I have been going through mental struggles that has made me so depressed and that is all i have been thinking about for this whole month at the start of 2019.

I have been a mess and getting behind on my bills because on january the first i noticed that i would get dizzy anywhere i walked or any movement i made. There is a longer story to this but its too much to type but i did have to make a gofundme and explained it all there. Sadly nobody has donated but i didnt expect anyone to really. I have asking for help but the issue i had made it impossible for me to go out and do my work since i am self employed and i work on my websites mostly at night. I hate sitting around and doing nothing, i like to go out and move around and be away from my house. Then i just heard my grandma died 2 days ago and everything is just coming down on me.

These websites are important to me because i want to succeed and be able to make enough money so i dont have to worry about bills and being late, also i put a lot of miles and wear and tear on my car making the money i do now to pay my bills, It seems like i have lost all my motivation and that i forgot how to be me and how to enjoy anything. I have been soo depressed and i even made my second website which around the mental health niche because its something i deal with a lot. I also been uploading videos to my Youtube channel about it all too.

Losing this motivation and not being able to think clearly and to be in the moment has hurt my websites. I have not posted a new article on my main site for maybe 2 months and my second website i did end up getting 2 articles on it and got the site and posts indexed at least. I want to be able to work hard on both my sites, even though a lot of fake traffic took over mymain site and i am hoping that does not hurt it from growing and getting a lot of real traffic. I have had that site for over a year and i may only get 2 organic views from google and maybe a couple of direct, the fake traffic always goes to the referral so i know when its fake.

I do have 2 ebooks published which is on my gumroad account which you can follow to keep up to date with any new ebooks i put out because i will try to work on one very soon! I have all my social links and my gumroad link on my profile so that would be cool if any of you wanted to follow, also follow my socials because ill keep you up to date with my situation because i really want to get better. I got a couple of bills coming up and its been stressing me out to the max and taking away all my motivation, i really hope people sees my gofundme but that was a desperate attempt to get back on track. I have been to the hospital and got a cat scan and all of that but that was fine. I am currently seeing my family doctor and we are trying out medications and waiting to see if it gets better but i cant go that long without making money and i am only 27 and going through all of this. I really dont want to give up but its getting really hard! Thanks for taking the time to read i just really needed to gwet this off my chest!