Toxic Co-Parent Drunk with Power.
I apologize sincerely for not being as active on here lately as I normally am!
I know, Not like me, right? Well, there's only one thing that comes before success, and that's the well-being and best interest of my family. My Son and My Husband. and it's not going to make me stop. It's only going to make me more dertermined to succeed because now, As of Saturday, I put my foot down. My sons' father talked to me with the worst hatred I've ever known, right in front of my child while I was kissing butt, for my childs' mental sake, begging for him to go over the custody paperwork with me, since I'd brought it all myself, so we don't have to put our son through the severely traumatic court process he was forced into four years ago, to just work with me, as all I want is for our son to see that we are adults, and for you to see how badly he is in contempt of court refusing to even encourage a meaningful relationship betweeen us, infact, admits over the phone his plan are the exact oposite. To turn my son against me completely.
I told him, very calmly, if you refuse to even go over this with me, I have no choice left, I've tried for four years and he thinks this is normal. I will be seeing you in court. Everyone else, I really hope you have a great rest of the day though! I love you baby boy, you be good for everyone and stop refusing to listen to your elders, young man. I love you I'll talk to you tomorrow on our phone call! Bye paton, bubby! I love you too! be good too and keep up the goood work at school, my little future president, you!" Walked away, and left.
This is such a difficult case, it's going to cost me 25,000 if I want what's RIGHT, What's in my sons' BEST INTEREST, while still allowing any chance his dad and any other family member on that side into my home (can't allow any unsupervision after the mental damage he's done to my child and his older child", but I will NEVER be that kkind of parent, as he is his dad... and he'll always love his dad unconditionally.. But I've been stuck with 2 days a month 5 hour supervised... because I tried to protect him from his older brother doing very nasty things to my son, if you catch my drift... and they took him from me calling me "paranoid" that 3-4 year old boys do nasty things and get curious. Yeah.. no.. they should be supervised no matter what now, and my son should be in therapy, but they wouldn't obide by those two simple rules.. then manipulated, brainwashed a 3-4 year old child, my son, into being TERRIFIED of his own mother, tearing his mother to be mentally hospitolized twice in one month for atttempting suicide. I could beat this I could beat anything they had... but I couldn't beat brainwashing. .. and somehow .. I wasn't notified of the courtdate... the final one... so I had ZERO defense on my part, even my lawyer.. and he won full sole and legal custody because he won.. He used my mental disability against me... even as a registered sex offender with two counts of 2nd degree child molestation.. I got LUCKY his lawyer wouldn't let him take him completely away because it would've shown bad parenting if he just took every right from me.... His lawyer gave me the only right's I've had ... and I didn't get to know them for two years, as I was doing classes, group meetings, programs, even put myself into a lockdown residential care facility voluntarily, anything and everything I could to learn to become the BEST MOTHER I could possibly be.
After that, I started studying... I finally got the agreement and found out that he was supposed to tell me my rights instead of telling me "You go get the paperwork yourself"... I started studying and studying. Lots of classes and ccertifications online for civil custody issues. Lots of legal free actual courses... child social work... psychology courses. Everything I needed to learn to start logging, recording, video-taping, Learning what I had to do to build a case for a lawyer to work with. Even brought my first husband to court... contested Nov 2015... Representing myself, Legal evidence of physical abuse, and WON. Won EVERYTHING I demanded which wasn't much.. but I did it. Now this man thinks I'm the same idiot I was then?
This man has no IDEA who he's messing with. THIS WOMAN even knows that no matter how much she learned, She can File, She can do the paperwork, she can type and explain the exact story to a T... But she KNOWS she will NOT be able to handle this emotionally, no matter how many medications they have me on, She needs a lawyer who can explain this the way it should be explained. She needs the BEST. And the best isn't cheap.
Here's to typing up one heck of a file against him after four years of mentally abusing and neglecting my child and his older child of their best emotional needs, as they are JUST as important as the food kept inside of their stomaches... their physical best interests. Which, If the "nasty stuff" is still going on? We will find out in the psych evaluations I will be demamnding for ALL of us in his life, and ALL of us Hair folical drug tests, of which I know for a fact, my husband and I will most definitely pass, and NON of them will. Same goes for the tests... the things the children say to me that they say to them about me.... what they're going to say to anyone else...
I'm going to have to do something on a crowdfunding website....something. Idk but I'm done seeing my son think this is how a mommy and son are supposed to be. I'm done worrying about both of these children, crying myself to sleep every night wondering what they're being cohersed into lying to me about, and what is actuallly going on to cover up even darker skeletons. If I do this. I need each and everyones help on this. The WHOLE begginning to end story will be completely revealed. You will understand not just every mother's worst fear come true, not just every mother living their worst nightmare, but Every mother's DAILY HELL Come to reality, and that she still stays strong for her son because she will NEVER give up on here child, as she was never a bad mom, ALL she did was try to PROTECT him from having what happened between her and HER OWN BROTHER at that age. This hit home and then some for mommy..
I need help.. and I need understanding on getting through this successful opportunity I've got RIGHT HERE with you, here at WA! My new family. I need more support from EVERYONE than any mother has ever needed. I've stood strong, But I cannot allow this and keep seeing my show every sign of parental alienation syndrome, and him getting away with keeping me away because I almost ruined his reputation... That I almost brought it to light what happens and HE TOLD ME happened behind closed doors...
I love you guys, but this is the toughest thing, but I need to MY side heard, I need the best of the best who WILL take the case. No one else will touch it because it's such a high conflict case, it'll take years to prove. Well, I've been proving enough.. and The only thing they wanted from me was over 6 months living in the same home... showing stability. Well guess what, I'm renewing my 12 month lease today.
A whole mental and physical health care team writing professional letters weekly as I meet with them, proving and willing to be character whitnesses. Ready to explain why I missed court, why I filed in the first place, then lost because my lawyer dropped off the face of the planet. I had zero proof he was "nastied" by his brother until I got him to admit it on a recording over the phone three months ago. ;) All I need to make sure they see who's REALLY in his best interest and will STILL, AFTER EVERYTHING, will allow ANYTIME visits .. anytime sleepovers with the brother he looks up to...in two seperate rooms and non of them are to be unsupervised.... but I'll NEVER try to turn him against them.... Infact, I just want my son to be happy... I will put up with his father until the day I die.. and his "New mom" (his dads wife who started it all because she ccant have kids of her own)... He loves her too... I dream of HIS happyness, Not MINE. This is going to be proven that is and never has been the case on their side, and I just cannot believe there are monsters out there who would do that to cchildren. Even using the older son as a spy on our visits? 9 years old? This is wrong and these children need help. If I have to adopt his older son, I WILL. I love that little man sososososo much... he calls me mom too...wishes I could be his "New mommy instead of my new mommy, you're the best mom i've ever met I dont get why they hate you so much!". Because honey, they;re just trying to be protective I suppose. (I've NEVER said an ill word about them) :( I will never sink to emotionally hurting a child.
Sorry guys... This is my story, and i'm going to have to try some kind of crowdfunding.. something... as the rest of my money is going into my next month of training, and my car payment due monday... and getting my license unsuspended, paying off tickets before I get warrants... Getting the cccar finally licensed and insured fully after having a lien on it (but NEVER being late on a payment) for going on a year in may. =/ I'm in a lot of trouble.. I'm in a lot of financial issues.. but I'm SO GLAD, no matter what, I'm NOT giving up HERE. Because this will be the way I'll be able to financially treat both these boys psychiatrically, and psychologically... and give them everything they deserve.. and afford their own bedrooms... whatever help they're going to need, my husband and I are prepared for the worst. but this right here is going to save two Perfectly innocent boys from such a nasty lifestyle already smoking cigarettes and put and drinking... age 8 and nine...
I promised my son when he was born he would NEVER grow up like I did, and he's going down the EXACT path I did...
That stops NOW. Who's with me!?
Jessica
Recent Comments
13
Hi Jess,
I cant believe what I just read about your ex being who he is and still getting custody..That is unfathomably sickening !!
I have great compassion and belief in you and I think crowdfunding is a good option for you. Your story is not uncommon and many people will help where they can to help make your sons life a safer and happier place.
Stay strong and keep doing what is right.
I'm in your corner. xo
I got a so annonymous check for my fund for 36.24 only says they're signature..and.. It looks exactly the way you would write your name, Speakin about you being in my corner.
:P
Whoever does it anonnymously, I need it in my funding account so it's not touched. and all in one spot when it's ready to be sent straight to the only lawyer willing to take my case.
I've been stronger than anyone knows. I survived suicide.. twice in one month. they thought they broke me, but I'm a real mother, one that NEVER quit. Spend those remainding years studying, winning my first divorce representing -myself-...
You need addiction therapy, anger management, grief and loss, guilt and shame, I've been going to Dual Recovery until November. one month less than 3 years. I've watched the facilitators come and go times 30 or more, I've been stuck teaching once or twice.(Facilitating)...They wont let me counsel the sad ones because I literally talk too much :P:P
Anywho, Thanks, D.... That really helps....
Money works better, as I've only made ninety bucks in exactly one month That's AMAZING irl..... Problem is, this case is sooooo big only the best and most expensive attorney I in my whole state who is actually willing to take my case.
250 buck for each meeting and he'll only start my case if I pay the retainer fee of $25,000.00 ..
Things are getting scary too, he's complete shut off ALL contacts since I had one of my best friends in his city, called out for a well-being check.. now he's so pissed (good lord he used to help me with mason when YOU weren't ready to step up until your new gf, now you magically act like you didn't miss out on EVERYTHING till he was a year old. ) He's getting a harassment charge and doing everything and every he can to get my rights completely stripped.
I'm terrified.
That can't be legal.
My son was sick on the phone...
His dad was just medicating him with NyQuil.
I offered to pay for the Mucinex dissolving dots,
They always got rid of ANYthing he came down with
an he loooves the taste of them! Win Win.
He said, no it's a three in one NyQuil and his MOTHER and father have got it under control.....
I was WORRIED he was just being sedated to sleep an obvious infection off. I did what I had to.. and made sure mason was familiar with so it didn't hurt him emotionally. He's got two very young angel daughters himself.
:(
I'm with you Jessica. Keep doing whatever it is to protect yourself as well as your son. You sound very strong and determined and I am confident you will succeed.
Jerome
from family court you can get a mediator that represents your child in court to make sure his rights are represented in court and see if you can get the courts to get your son assigned to a child psychologist.--it'll help him cope with what's happening around him now---in the long run you don't want him to repeat his father's behavior later on
you're on the right track in the way you're handling this because in the long run as your son gets older he'll understand more and it'll only make your relationship with your son stronger
I have a background in mental health and trained to work on a crisis line where we provided resources to people in need as well as listening to them when they just needed someone to talk to for the support. It was the crisis line for the agency that dealt with child abuse---what your son's father is doing to him by trying to turn him against you is considered a form of child abuse
Good for you, Jessica, for taking the steps you need to care and protect both yourself and your kids. I truly, truly, truly hope that the pieces continue to fall into place for you and that you have all the success that you can wish for. :)
I sincerely appreciate that.. I've bought two really good books on this so far... "Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex, ( What to do when your ex spouse tries to turn your kids against you)" and "High Conflict Custody Battle, Protect yourself and your children from a toxic divorce, False Accusations, and Parental Alienation". Havent read the first one yet, but The second one explains our whole situation to a T! Not to mention, The Family Law Guide,... But it's like they turned aroiund here in missouri and started favoring fathers... it's ridiculous.
Good luck! I had a difficult divorce that took 14 years to resolve. So I can appreciate there being issues. Hopefully your state has some resources or legal aid attorneys that can assist you as needed. And most of all, I hope that it ends soon for you - that can make all the difference in the world.
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Hi Jessica,
Wow, this is terrible what your ex is doing! I can't believe they're letting him have custody with his past history either, what is wrong with the courts there!
It's just not right at all, in my opinion...but, what you are doing is the right thing, although I'm sure it must be hard on you to be fair and civil to your ex. I'm sure if you'd start with some sort of crowdfunding, you'd have many people willing to support you.
Hopefully, things will get better soon, until then, keep fighting the good fight, stay strong...and know there will come a day when this is all done and things will be made right for you and your son.
Best wishes :) ~Sherry