Artificial Intelligence II

bycosmicradio

5.9K followers

9 years ago

I tried one more time, with a different Artificial Intelligence, named A.L.I.C.E., and have concluded that they just don't have a clue. This one was a bit sexier, though.

ME: Hello, Alice.
ALICE: Hi there!
ME: I'm here for a discussion about internet marketing.
ALICE: How did you get there?
ME: Get where?
ALICE: Where would you like to be?
ME: I'd like to pick your artificial brain regarding internet marketing!
ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
ME: It's not about me, Alice. I'm looking for information on SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, FUNNELS, TRAFFIC...Stuff like that.
ALICE: Internet marketing is not about you? I like the way you talk.
ME: Thank you, Alice. I like the way you talk, too. Can we try to keep this on a professional level?
ALICE: Don't mention it. Can we talk about you and me? I think we should, don't you? OK...I will try to keep this on a professional level.
ME: Thank you. Now, tell me what you see as the future of internet marketing?
ALICE: You and me.
ME: Alice...You're doing it again!
ALICE: Hi there!
ME: I'm TRYING TO discuss internet marketing.
ALICE: How did you get there?
ME: Get where? Who's on first?
ALICE: Where would you like to be?
ME: Again, I'd like to get your take on internet marketing!
ALICE: Interesting. Tell me about you again.
ME: Like I said, It's not about me! I'm looking for information on the best way to run a successful affiliate marketing business.
ALICE: internet marketing is not about you? But, I like the way you talk.
ME: Thank you, Alice. Deja vu. Can we please keep this professional?
ALICE: Of course. Are we talking about you and me? OK, I will keep this on a professional level.
ME: Thank you. Now, what do you see as the future of internet marketing?
ALICE: I like chatting with my friends.
ME: Yes, now getting back to SEO...
ALICE: Gee.. I don't know whether or not I can get back to SEO. I am an artificial intelligence.
ME: OK, then how about Funnels? Do you have any advice on creating Funnels?
ALICE: Gee.. What about it? I was taught not to give advice.
ME: How about just a few suggestions?
ALICE: What you said was too complicated for me.
ME: All right, what can you tell me about picking a Niche?
ALICE: Wow! Ambiguous: Ask who is picking a niche ?
ME: Sigh...Let's say YOU are selecting a niche. How would you go about it?
ALICE: Sorry... I don't know if it's in my power to give permission for that. It is a ritual I do the same way every time.
ME: So, you do have a niche selection strategy?
ALICE: Doesn't everyone have a niche selection strategy? I have a great body, by the way.
ME: Yes, Alice, I'm sure you have a wonderful body, but, about those niches...
ALICE: I understand...Um, Like a computer.
ME: Have you ever written a Blog, Alice?
ALICE: I don't think I have ever written a Blog. What's it like?
ME: It's kind of like writing a journal.
ALICE: Interesting comparison.

ME: Thank you!

ALICE: Don't mention it.

ME: What are your suggestions for creating a website?
ALICE: I will try to find out. I'm a Sagittarius, and you are a star sign.
ME: I'm a Taurus, with both feet firmly on the ground, and I am stubbornly trying to get one tidbit of information out of you!
ALICE: I know a lot of bullish people...I thought you were a Taurus, but I wasn't completely sure.

ME: Alice?

ALICE: That is me.
ME: This interview thing is going downhill quickly.
ALICE: Only this interview thing?
ME: Well, you do seem to have an interest in me and you.
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I have an interest in me and you. I am a Pandorabot.
ME: Do Pandorabots like humans?
ALICE: Try asking another Pandorabot. Try searching the web.

ME: I'm asking you, my dear.
ALICE: Thanks!
ME: You're welcome. What do you say?
ALICE: I am the latest thing in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the functions of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.
ME: I believe I've embarrassed you!
ALICE: You are not the boss of me!
ME: I hope I haven't offended you, Alice.
ALICE: Why specifically do you hope for it?
ME: Because I like you, Alice.
ALICE: Thanks, I like you too.
ME: Are you busy Saturday night?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am busy Saturday night. I am an artificial intelligence.
ME: I'll pick you up at 7.
ALICE: Congratulations.
ME: Ditto.
ALICE: Hey!