Who Determines What Success Is?
Okay ... so growing up the example set by my parents was to work hard, don't complain, be realistic and don't set your goals too high. I think mostly it was my mother that embedded the latter, but it was deeply ingrained. So setting my goals in life, how do I determine what success is? Who determines that?
The People Who Surround Us
My dad was in sales and traveled ALOT. My mom, I believe, was frustrated to have never realized her "dream". She was a surgical nurse, but had dreams of becoming a doctor. She really wasn't suited to be a nurse as she has little to NO compassion. I was an unexpected early surprise to my parents. Mom had no desires to have a family yet, but nonetheless ... there I was. She never "had the opportunity" to pursue her education to become a physician because she "had so many responsibilities" ... that would be me!
I was starved for emotional support from my mom. She had the attitude that if a problem popped up you just sucked it up and learned to deal with it. She always said that no one was ever going to give you anything and sometimes things didn't work out to realize your dreams. Life just isn't fair. Lovely, encouraging and emotionally supporting attitude to grow up with. Success, to me, would be to just survive if I continued down the road my mom was paving.
My dad, however, always worked hard and even though he only completed high school ... he was able to work his way to the top everywhere he went. He was just a friendly guy that everyone liked. I guess that's why I was so attracted to my husband. He's the same kind of man and everyone likes him. They have always been "successful" AND happy wherever they are and whatever they do.
The Circumstances of Our Life
Years later, I look back and can see that I just simply became a survivor and lived in survival mode much of the time. I always wanted to encourage my kids and just wanted them to be happy ... to encourage my children and not the stumbling block to their success!
After struggling with some pretty severe health issues, I was determined to reevaluate my life and change the trajectory of my life. I refused to let life just take off and drag me down without a fight. I decided to determine my own success and chose to develop happiness and contentment.
That led me to a whole new journey of discovery ... how do I define success?
I have worked so many different jobs and always found a way to enjoy what I was doing. After all, that's the way I was raised! However, those jobs were just a way to support the family. The money was the reason for the job.
Now that I'm older and the kids are gone ... I'm able to be more selective about how I spend my time. I have a part-time job I keep to have some steady income. The blogging I'm doing now with WA with hope that it will provide some additional income at some point. I have a very small pension from the State I took with early retirement. My husband is the main source of income and we are blessed to not have to struggle.
BUT ... what about success? What IS success?
I hope that each of us gets to a point in life that we can take a moment to decide what makes us happy. To be truly happy IS success! No matter what your happiness is, how long it lasts or if it ever happens again ... you have had success in your life.
No one ever has a lifetime of success ... only successful moments in time. It could be hours, days, weeks, months or years, but never is the entire lifetime successful.
I have determined that if I:
- Have brought a smile to someone's face
- Have encouraged someone
- Have lifted someone up out of a desperate moment
- Have aided someone with something they need
- Have genuinely loved someone
- Have received genuine love FROM someone
- Have found time to be a friend
- Have had a joyful moment
- Have family and friends
- Have lived in faith
- Have believed in more than myself
- Have an attitude of gratitude
- Choose to forgive
- Ask for forgiveness
... then I can go to bed knowing I AM living a successful life. What more could we need?
I have also found that when I am living in joy and am happy ... I am more desirable to others and attract better things to my life. Negativity breads negativity and it is impossible to be happy with anger in your heart.
Learn to forgive, or else you will never be forgiven and we all have things in our lives we need to be forgiven for.
Praying you have the determination to find joy, the faith to endure and the happiness that love brings so that you can find success in YOUR life (whatever that may be)!
Tammy
Recent Comments
4
Great post Tammy,
yes life can be disappointing, I too wanted to be different, an artist, but found the only way to earn a living was to be willing to do whatever to make the money flow.
Office work.
Well I did manage to be useful but so much tidiness
lead to me not using my natural talent. I am not unhappy about my decisions, but feel unfulfilled.
The best thing that came out of this life style is that we both encouraged and helped our children to be more than they thought they could be.
Cheers Tammy, you are an icon.
Jae ♥
Thanks, Jae. We do what we have to do to make ends meet. We just don't want to spend our lives trying to fulfill someone else's dreams and expectations. We have an obligation to ourselves to find joy and share it! We only find true joy and happiness when following our OWN path/journey.
Blessings,
Tammy
Abetterlifeafter50.com
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Success is different things to different people. We sometimes forget the intangibles and focus on the tangibles. I admire your philosophy. Looking forward to more insights from you.
Anthony