I'm surrounded by negativity!! Please help!!
I love Christmas!! and I love my family... but honestly - I feel as though they come home and try to give me their own "advice" - which is fine, it's how they've done things and how theyve found happiness - but it tells me that my vision is unrealistic and starts to make me doubt my abilities!! They tell me to steer clear of all this stuff... that it doesn't work and I'll never make money from it!!
My family are exactly the kind of people I'm aiming to stop other people being influenced by in my own website!! My domain is named "conformance fugitive" - I want to show people that they CAN run away from the usual conformance to society!!! But even my own family is trying to influence me by telling me this is impossible!!!!!
Im feeling kinda deflated right now!!! =( words of inspiration and motivation needed??
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A bit of realization about your family. They are doing their best to share with you what has worked for them. They want you to succeed and just don't see you doing anything where you are now. How much are you being forward with what you are doing? Or do you just hide away in the corner, pecking away at a keyboard?
The second approach is the one that I was doing and it led to a confrontation. It wasn't pretty. My parents (who I live with) were pretty well convinced that I was just up in my room doing nothing profitable. I had to make clear to them that this little bit that I was doing was something that I BELIEVED would work.
Another bit that I had to do was say, "I am done with letting you think that I am doing nothing. I am done with letting you say that I am doing nothing. I will help you around the house how I can, but I will not have you say I am doing nothing without me saying something. I will not have you lie about me and believe it to be the truth."
It was a bit rough for my parents to accept. But, they were far more receptive of what I do versus me just sitting in my room and doing nothing around the house.
Absolutely agree - you've hit the nail on the head with this one!!
I do sorta hide away with my laptop, but I dont tell them about this community because they think everything is a scam!! lol. Especially with my brother (who works in web development - hence why everyone has a lot of respect for his opinions/advice)... he tells me how his colleagues who have been successful entrepreneurs with offline things, but still can't get off the ground online!! Like you say, he's only trying to help by sharing what's worked for him/his friends, but i honestly believe I can make this work with the help of this community!!
Thank you very much for your advice here... if the negativity continues I will definitely take heed!! Seems like you really understand my situation! =)
The people around you that are saying these things are terrified that you may succeed and prove them wrong, they want to stay safe and they want to believe its the only way, so if you succeed it will make them uncomfortable, so they want to to stay in their safe world as well
Its called - Hostage taking - which means = I am trapped in my world and its not nice, so I want you to be trapped as well, to keep me company in my prison
My parents did this to me as well
Your heart is free - have the courage to follow it
Don't give in, don't ever give in
Barry
I agree some people are like this - but with my family, I dont think this is the case... i think they are just advising me based on their own personal experiences (when they've not had as mcuh drive to succeed as I currently do)
It's jsut frustrating because all I want is a bit of encouragement, and maybe some help with ideas etc - but when they act like this, it simply makes me feel like blocking them out n not telling them anything about my quest/business venture!!
Thank you for the encouraging words though... much more positivity than I get from my family!! haha =)
Zoe
It is for this reason that I've chosen to keep this to myself for the most part until I actually profit from it. I've only told my wife and brother, and at first they thought it was a scam as well. After explaining how affiliate programs work (and specifically using Amazon as an example) they lightened up. I'm pretty sure they still don't think I'm going to make anything from it, but we'll see what happens.
As for your family, if they're goingto be negative about something you're really interested in doing, stop talking to them about it until you have a check with your name on it to show them! :)
Very good advice!! I've already kinda started doing this as I've made my decision and I think its better for me to surround myself with positive people as I follow it through, I guess I'm just frustrated because it's like they don't know me if I cant talk to them about my dreams/ambitions!! They just think I'm dumb if I talk about it!! lol =(
Listen I have the same but you have to keep your chin up high and not listen to the negative thoughts I know you can make big money if you hit the right program. Anytime you want a person to message to PM me and we will speak I know what your going through, it doesn't matter what time it is or what day. your doing good and when the money will start coming in the spring time. That would be the biggest motivation you can get .Follow your dreams girl.
keep up the chin
Willie
Thank you Willie!! Fingers crossed for all the prosperity us wealthy affiliates dream of in the new year!! =)
Its great to have this community of encouragement behind me when family somewhat lacks!! =)
I was a single mom for 18 years and I made a point to always live AWAY from family! lol They are the same way, everyone always has an opinion.
Here's what I end up telling people - but let me give you warning, it is a bit crude. Sometimes you get to a point though where you just tell people how you really feel.
1. If you're not feeding, financing, or f*ing me - then I don't give a damn what you think.
2. This is my life to eff up as I see fit! I am the one who has to live with the consequences of my action/decisions whether they are good or bad.
3. Let me go see if I can pay my bills with your opinion...nope - it's useless to me.
Hope it helps! and please forgive the bluntness. ( and , yes, I really do tell people all 3 of these lol)
haha - problem is, I live with my parents still... after returning from travelling in debt!!
Thank you for your advice though... I know Iv'e made the decision already in my own mind, and I guess that's all that mtters in the long run... just would be nice to have some encouragement from them I think, or help with all my ideas!!
I have had to tell my parents to mind their own business and keep their comments to themselves as well. Always respectfully of course.
Even when I lived with them!
But I understand. It's hard to draw that line sometimes. You can always come here for encouragement though!
Sometimes it also helps to practice tuning people out. I'm staying with my sister temporarily and she one of the most negative people I know and depressing. It can be hard to stay positive.
Good luck! :)
Thank you Angela!! =) This place has an abundance of encouragement which I'll be sure to turn to in the future!! =)
Ahh, sorry to hear about your sister!! I hope the situation improves soon!! Good luck to yourself too!! =)
Hey Zoe...we are your family here at Wealthy Affiliate...So Merry Christmas...So are all those family members who are giving you advice, experts at working online? I highly doubt it or they would be encouraging you not trying to destroy your dream.
We have learned that it is better to keep our online journey to ourselves when it comes to those who aren't trying to build an online business. Most times they just don't get what you are trying to share with them and they just blurt out hearsay or their experience of failure.
All successful entrepreneurs keep positive and like minded company, you will find that here my friend. Keep going and your family will sit up and take notice when you are successful and living your dream.
All the best now and in the New Year. We are here :)
Thank you Graham!! Merry Christmas and a very happy and wealthy new year - fingers crossed!! =)
My brother is actually much more of an expert at working online than I am... he's worked in web development for about 6years, so that's why I do respect his opinion. =/
I agree though, it's best to keep it to myself for the time being - it would just be nice to have some encouragement from them/help with my ideas etc!!
I know I've already made the decision to go through with this style of business, so it's going to happen, I think I just hope for a little more support!! That's what's great about this community though I guess!! =D Exactly what I needed I think!! =)
Thank you for your support and good luck in the New year too!! =)
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I have agreed with the 1st four people that has replied to this post, but what I have to tell you may be somewhat of a shock. I am very sympathetic with what you explained in this post, aside from your, "my vision is unrealistic and starts to make me doubt my abilities!!" and FORGET WHAT THEY TELL YOU. That is all ON YOU. You CAN'T let the outside forces get to you, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? It is very possible to achieve what you have in your heart, If you set your mind to it and are willing to sacrifice what is necessary to achieve it.
Thank you so much for these words of encouragement... they've come at another much needed time!! =) I'm feeling much more focused in 2015, and can see much better when people are standing in my way or sucking away my energy. I know I can achieve what I want, it's unfortunate that sometimes other things/relationships have to be sacrificed though!!
Keeping my mind on the ultimate goal and staying open!! =) Thank you again!!
An idea has occurred to me on reading this. I don't know how open your family is on discussing the "projections" they knowingly or unknowingly put onto you or others. It might just be an American Psychologists way of looking at this. Have you ever asked, "Do you know how your words make me feel?" And then tell them how it makes you feel.
I know that my dad wants me to succeed in what I do. But mostly, he would want me to succeed in ways that would work for him, regardless of whether they work for me or not. Find out whether or not the projections they put on you is on purpose or not. Then, you can go to the heart of it. Sometimes I have to say, "Well, I can see that you have a strong opinion, but you haven't swayed me to think otherwise."
To be honest, I think I'm more into a mindset of proving them all wrong now!! haha. I'm very into self-development at the moment, and have been reading a lot into the laws of attraction etc... I've set my mind and heart on this project, so this is what I'm going to do regardless of their thoughts/opinions!! I'll be the one laughing when it all works out n they're stuck in their dead end jobs!! ;) lol
Thank you very much for your words of advice though... I think I just kinda remembered the negativity thrown at me before I went travelling too... I managed to ignore that and still live my dream - so I guess I've just gotta remember that it is possible, so long as I know, in my own heart, what I want =)