Stay True to Your Heart
Over the past several days, I have been wondering whether to share this story here or not and decided to do so. This may be helpful to someone in this community. As many of you know, I am all about helping others. So here goes.
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
As many of you know, I help students get prepared for their careers. I started doing this about 16 years ago. In addition to running my own business, I taught higher education Professional Business Practices classes and was also a Career Advisor.
I have always taken pride in helping students. It's my passion and through the years, many people have complimented me on taking such an interest in students and their well being.
A STORM ROLLED IN
A few days ago, I had quite a disturbing conversation with someone in one of my personal social media accounts. I am still shaking my head and trying to wrap my mind around the content of the conversation. The content of that conversation is a very long story and I will spare all the details. It's way too involved for this particular platform and definitely not something that can easily be explained.
A DISTURBANCE
It all started when a disturbing social media post came across my personal newsfeed from someone I know. Because of the content of the post and knowing this person, I thought it best to try to provide this social media friend with some helpful advice. We all know once something is out there, it's out there - even if you "delete" it.
After much thought, I decided the best thing to do is to approach the situation from a mentoring aspect and discuss the situation with the person as I would one of my students in my business class. Besides, this person is still in college and I felt having that type of information from me would be helpful. I sent the person a private message and first explained that I have a student business (which they probably already knew) but I went even further and gave them my website link. Since I had written an article about maintaining positive social media presence, I provided that link as well. I wrote the message from a positive perspective and gave them the reason behind my message. There was nothing derrogatory or degrading about it and I expressed I was sharing the information out of concern.
To my surprise, the person responded with "I am an entrepreneur...I don't support what you do." Those words shattered my heart in a million pieces. Anyone else I know would have simply replied "thank you" and kept it moving - probably ignoring my advice - but kept is moving nonetheless. Not this time.
Here's the thing - I knew exactly what was meant by the person's statement. The statement was coming from a place of they're going to own their business so what I'm teaching students is for them to work for someone else.
THE WIND WAS KNOCKED OUT OF MY SAILS - FOR A HOT MINUTE
As you can probably guess, I was taken totally off guard by this unexpected response. In all my years of helping students, I had never had anyone approach me like that. Even though I was furious, I maintained composure as I explained that if they'd taken the time to review my site, they would've seen that I don't only support students working for others. I do, in fact, support them being entrepreneurs - since I am one myself! I even provided the link to an article I wrote about entrepreneurship.
I kindly explained to the person not everyone is going to own their own business. After students graduate, there will be many who work for others - that's just LIFE! I also explained that while you are planning to be an entrepreneur, it does not mean you may not have to work for someone else sometime along the way - especially if you find you need to provide for your family, etc. Many things can happen in our lives that we have absolutely no control over. The road to success is not wrapped in a nice, neat little box with a little perfect bow. NO!
That conversation went on for quite some time and not only got pretty heated, the subject of the conversation switched to a different topic. It went in directions that I am not at liberty to discuss here on this platform. But trust me when I say it was quite disturbing the things that were said by this person.
After a while of the messages flying back and forth, I finally had to make a decision. I had to back out of that discussion. So, I shut it down by telling the person we need to "agree to disagree". Have a great week.
I was not waving the flag of defeat. I knew in my heart that if I decided to let that conversation continue, the person was simply not going to agree with me - no matter what I said or how I said it. Sometimes people are not willing to accept your message - even in the midst of helping them. Period. This was one of those times. That person was going low and I needed to go high. So agreeing to disagree was where I had to go with that conversation.
HELLO SUNSHINE, GOOD BYE CLOUDS
Let me explain how life works. About 72 hours after that terribly combative conversation, it was like the clouds opened up and the rays of sun beamed upon me. What happened? A student I had three years ago in one of my college classes sent me a LinkedIn message. The student explained he had landed a new job he was totally excited about and would be starting this week. The message was right on time and I quote "Thank you for everything you taught me about interviewing and resume writing! The things I learned in your class definitely helped me land this opportunity!" YES! YES! YES!
WOW! TALK ABOUT PERFECT TIMING!
So, my faith was restored and just like that, my heart was right. I knew I was in the right place, at the right time for that student. I will forever leave a mark on him. I had made a difference. Yes, the person is going to work for someone else, but I had made a difference and that was the heartwarming part about this whole situation.
CONCLUSION
The bottom line is this - you can never let someone make you question yourself. NEVER. If you know in your heart, you are doing the right thing for the right reasons, you have to keep moving forward - period.
If you have chosen a business or a niche here in WA and your heart is telling you are in the right place, then follow your heart. Even if you get thrown off the path at times, stick with it. You chose it for a reason. Remember your why. Stay true to your heart.
Have a great rest of your week.
~ Yvette ~
Recent Comments
63
Great post, thanks for sharing. It’s unfortunate how a negative comment or person can ruin your whole day, and it’s something that sticks with you, but then you receive a great compliment and all is well. I agree that you must follow your heart, and never let anyone make you question yourself. You obviously made a difference in that students life, and he/she will be forever grateful. Well done.
Thank you for that. I truly appreciate the kind words and support. You are definitely right about receiving a great compliment and it being well. It was certainly the case here. Thanks again.
I found myself thinking while reading your blog (yes, I CAN multitask!) and I recall a reply I sent you which was not meant or intended to hurt you by any stretch of the imagination, but nonetheless, it did!
I have thought about that scenario many times since and you chose to forgive me and excuse my childish behavior.
I agree with CandP when describing this student with lack of maturity, not only chronologically, but also psychologically.
Unfortunately it demonstrates symptoms of an antisocial personality disorder with narcissistic traits.
You handled him spot on, not by confrontation, but by sticking to your guns.
Arguing will do very little to turn him around or be swayed by a different point of view.
And of course, misery loves company so in a futile attempt he tried to bring you down to his level, but you rose victorious!
It also shows him how passionate you are about the subject and mere words will do nothing to deter you from your stance!
And Yvette, the student contacting you 72 hours later was the epitome of what karma looks like!!
Thank you for sharing with us.
We are family and as such, we will support you all the way!
You're a keeper!! 💕
Liz*, thank you so much. It is sometimes hard in this environment to get points across. At times, what we write is taken so differently than what the other person interprets. I remember the communication between us you are referring to and had totally forgotten about it :) That was just a classic example of communication getting lost in translation. Those things can and do happen all the time - so no need to feel bad about it or dwell on it. All is definitely well between us and I truly appreciate your friendship and continued support.
You are right...we are all family here. I feel a great deal of support which is why I love this community. Thank you, once again, for all your kind words.
Aloha Yvette!
It is a great teaching!
I trained students in scientific skills for almost a decade.
One time an older student (she was in her forties.) left my class during the lunch break. She ran into me at the door and I knew something was wrong.
She later complained by my client, I would keep a slide at the wall for a long time and not follow up with the presentation. Instead, I would work with the group.
Yes. I have worked with the group of 25 students, and they learned a lot.
Unfortunately, I could not include her. She wasn't open for it. However, it wasn't about the group and me; it was about her. She was used to frontal teaching, which I did very very little.
You do an amazing job, Yvette! Sometimes people need little longer to acknowledge!
God bless you!
Aloha, Jenna
Mahalo, Jenna for the kind words and for sharing your story. I truly appreciate your support.
Hello sweet lady!
We are very happy you shared this story with us.
This person is filled with anger, angst, and ignorance. The mere fact that he/she turned the whole exchange into something disturbing and probably personal, indicates a sad, empty soul who is devoid of friends or those who care.
You, as the mature adult (one wonders the age of this person-not to say all young people are like this, but definitely a lack of maturity), recognized that it was futile to continue a discussion when the other person was too filled with poison in their soul to listen and exchange in a civil way. They chose to turn their rage on you, of all people! Unless that person changes their outlook, their whole life is destined to be one long negative exchange with others. It is up to him/her to look in the mirror and make some serious re-assessments.
Please drag and drop this whole event into the "trash" and rejoice at the positive event that happened shortly thereafter.
We, and many, many others, (including the former student who contacted you 72 hours later), know your true heart and your helpful, friendly, sincere intentions.
You are one of the brightest lights here and we appreciate you.
Your friends,
Colette and Philip
Yvette,
Thank you, my friend, this has been a week of people
throwing me off of what I want to do in life and with
my life! No one has made that more clear than you
just did.
Thank you for being here,
Susan
Thank you Susan for stopping by and for the support. I appreciate all your support. Keep moving forward. You got this!
I really liked your story. Sometimes a teacher or mentor can only go so far. The school of hard knocks will have to take over from there. In your heart you know you done all you could do and you walked away with a clear conscience. It sounds like you are doing a great job with the college students. Keep up the good work. Michael.
Hi Yvette,
Thanks for sharing your story. I hope everything is well with you.
There are people who are arrogant and always think he always right and knows everything. People like this will shut down others' opinion and nothing much we can do about it but to move on.
Hope you are ok now.
Joe:)
Thanks Joe, for stopping by, checking in and for your support. It threw me off for a minute, but I am just fine now. I am moving forward :) Thanks, again.
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Great post. The truth about offering help to others is that some people are simply not prepared to listen. Offer your advice from the heart and let the receiver cherry pick the best bits of your message that work for them at this time. You can't help everyone all the time!
Thank you for stopping by. You are certainly right about that. Point well taken.