Thank you! Yes this helps me! Getting back on board.

I will do that in hopes to get my site up. I see the link there..? But no content.

Wow, I must say I am kind of surprised that they actually do this. I'm happy that they do, but I would have thought that after 30 days they would just say "sorry you're out of luck"

No backup. I don't think. My website was created on WA only.

Thank you very much :) I want this to work so bad, but I realize I have to work hard. I can't let negative or unhealthy thoughts flood in, I know I can do this.

You can do it, I feel the same, sometimes a challenge to think positive but that is what will turn things around.

I appreciate that. Thinking positive has been a challenge for me for a good portion of my life. I really messed up a lot of things in my past that I have to face. Some days I don't know if I can do it or even if I know how. I get very scared at the fact that there are some things in my past that were not resolved and that they will come back to haunt me. What scares me the most is losing my family I have now because of all the bad that happened in my previous marriage. I found my best friend, who is the love of my life, we both met at a very low point in our life and we went through a lot what seems like a lifetime of things in just the past two years.

Thanks for the reply. It seems no matter what I do I can't get ahead, I can barely get by let alone get ahead. I hope I will be able to keep my websites by next month. I must put my family first, if I pay WA I won't be able to pay my electric bill or water, that's just the way it goes. Again thank you, I know I'm not the only one struggling. I wish you the best here.

I know, It's a really crap situation to be in. I had a pay as you go electric meter put in. just gone onto a scheme for the water because we couldn't pay it. our gas is on a meter. My mobile is broken and my car failed its mot. hardly any food in the house and school uniforms to get. I don't even go out of the house anymore. I just do Wa hoping things will take off soon. I am still happy though.
You will be ok.
Andi.

I really appreciate you talking to me. I have had a very rough life that I brought on myself just because I was so negative in the past and angry. I lost everything due to alcoholism, my family, my home, my car, everything. I went down to one suitcase full of clothes, a divorce, a broken heart and a mountain of debt I still owe. But I never stopped breathing. Somehow I survived a car wreck, I quit drinking, (two years in November) and I have a family now and we are a strong team and go through everything together. There are days I feel so much guilt and I begin to sink into depression but I force myself to remember that things could be so much worse. I'm still learning how to deal with certain emotions I used to mask with substances. But I was so much worse with that in my life.

It's amazing the angels that are out there looking out for us. I met my best friend who loves me for me and has gone through all the struggles I have and more, plus has helped me through mine, we are married and love each other with every breath. I really should be typing how grateful I am in the first place to have what I have now. I came across WA because like many others I am searching for a way to have income from home, and I want to open a business one day. But there still seems to be something in life I am not getting or need to learn, I just pray everyday that my family stays a family, a team, I feel that I was given one more chance to change for the better. I just must be patient, like you. :)

Hi Andi, I hope you are having a good day? :) I attempted to write back twice but both times I was getting ready to send it and I hit the wrong button and my note was deleted. I guess I really had to get some things out in the open and I felt it was ok to talk to you about some things. I will get back with you. I appreciate your notes.

Just recently I began to realize that I might be getting on that path again that nearly killed me and that path is not the path my Husband is on, he is on a road to pure recovery, happiness, positiveness, he prays, things are happening for him right before my eyes, and I can't help but feel that these good things are not happening to me, but to him. And if I continue on this path I could lose him forever. Sometimes I just don't know what to do, I've had a substance abuse problem for a long time, I haven't touched any alcohol in two years, but I have been on pills, and other things that are not good for me.

I don't want to be addicted to pills, or have to take anti depressants, because I have already been through all of that too. It is only a temporary fix that leads to an unhealthy addiction. I at least have told my Husband I have to get off the xanax I have been taking for a year now. At first my mind would begin to flood with these horrible thoughts a total paralyzing fear and I would take xanax and suddenly things didn't seem that bad, until it wore off. Then I would take another, and another, until I have myself in this very unhealthy cycle. And I'm not getting happier I'm getting more depressed. Today is only a few days of me being off of them and I am scared shitless. My Husband is here for me but if I do not change my thoughts, my addiction, I will lose him. Just recently I realized that though we both were connected at the hip, thought no one, or thing could come between us, I feel I may be headed down that horrible road, and he is going down this other road of recovery. I want to be on the same road for good. He is beginning to tell me I worry way too much, that I have to think positive and if I have to TRY to be happy then I'm not doing it right, I should just be happy. I think that though we both had a hard life in the past but the difference is things would just happen to him, the people in his life treated him bad, he had to deal with getting shut out, he then drank and fought, and cried and prayed. I didn't have a bad life, I lied, cheated, stole, and hurt my family, made friends not trust me, drank. I have a lot of guilt and my Husband is just thankful for everything he has now. I want to be where he is all the time not just some of the time.

Try to stop worrying. The difference now is that you are aware what is going wrong, But you and only you can change it.
Just to remind you of the side effects I have put them here, because I am not sure if that is what might be happening .

Call your doctor at once if you have:

depressed mood, thoughts of suicide or hurting yourself;
racing thoughts, increased energy, unusual risk-taking behavior;
confusion, agitation, hostility, hallucinations;
uncontrolled muscle movements, tremor, seizure (convulsions); or
pounding heartbeats or fluttering in your chest.
Common Xanax side effects may include:

drowsiness, feeling tired;
slurred speech, lack of balance or coordination;
memory problems; or
feeling anxious early in the morning.

See your doctor. You are over thinking stuff and getting yourself in a tizz. But it may be because of the meds.

You can do this.!!