What's Holding You Back ?
Well ? What's holding you back ? I'm not sure that it's a question we ask ourselves that often. I
think it's more likely to come from someone else. The lead in, would be you saying "I'd really like to..." and then the question comes back from whomever you're talking to. "What's holding you back ?" Maybe you do ask yourself the question, it's not a bad to ask.
As is quite often the case, this was not my original post. I didn't have one in my head ready to go. I find that is sometimes the best way to be. If you openly admit to yourself "I got nothing" that somehow frees you up to be more receptive. Steve would probably be able to shed some light on that theory.(@exgrosteve)
So I'm on top of my game this morning and feeling good about it. There was a wicked frost, which has a way of stimulating the synapses. Any pressing matters had been dealt with and I was in the process of sorting through the washing.
BBC Radio Two was playing, does that show my age ? I am a fickle listener though, I have no allegiance to one station, just depends on my mood. In between tracks there was a segment where someone came on air and talked for a few minutes. Today it was the turn of a guy named Jim Harris, who is an art historian. I caught a sentence and was hooked. So much so, that I went and listened to it online and made notes. Now we're here.
It's not verbatim, just my take on what he said, using some of his examples.
He started off by listing all of his ailments. A rash on his forehead, a 'shonky' (which I had to look up, 'unreliable' covers it) ankle, dodgy back and a shoulder that sometimes keeps him up at night.
This things cause him to worry that they will compromise his ability to do things. The shoulder will
stop him climbing, the ankle will stop him running and his forehead means that if he goes out, he might want to wear a bag on his head.
Basically, the more he worries about these things, the more he feels afraid of failing. This results in him doing less and less 'stuff'
Yet, when he looks around, there are plenty of examples of fearless people, even though there's a good chance that some of them will have been stopped from doing something due to their own fear of failure.
We lose confidence when there are set backs in our lives. We end up defining our ourselves, not by what we can do, but by the things we can't.
We need to be reminded that what we can do is more important than what we can't, by those who are fearless and never even consider the possibility of failure.
We are all made with an outstanding capacity to do some amazing things, no matter what the odds are, once we get past the fear of failing.
What do you think ? Aren't we all guilty of that ? Time for a change, methinks.
Fantastic Friday is here (Thank you for that one, Mickey)
Twack Romero
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In our house it is 'fabulous Friday'! This is the day the school allows the children to take chocolate or sweets as their snack! It is a big deal. Now this ritual has become one of buying a big bag of said, chocolate or sweets, 'so that they can all share'. So all in all in 'the girl's' world, fabulous Friday is right up there with birthday's and Christmas!
It makes you stop and realise how just a small thing or a small shift in perception can completely change the way a day will go. Name something positive like 'fabulous' or 'fantastic' and there is already an air of positive expectation before you have even begun.
My list of things that I wish to do is long, and the usual suspects stopping me doing them are time, energy and money. I feel like the movie collateral beauty where he writes letters to Love, Death and time. But then, like in the movie, you have to question whether these things are just in our minds or aspects of life that we can choose to perceive positively or negatively. Is it really time, energy, money (or my perceived lack of them) that is stopping me travelling, or taking a course?
What is holding me back? This is a question I have written down. Alongside how can I move forward with this? For me, for now, it is all about at least taking a step forward. Saving money each payday for the course I want to do, or the travelling I'd like to undertake. Having the dreams and desires and asking does what I am doing move me towards those things?
Ok I am going to hush now, as my answer is almost as long as the blog. Great blog, and perfect timing, as usual xx
Your questions are wonderful and should be being asked by anyone serious in wanting to do what they say...You stand a much better chance of realizing your goal if you take the necessary steps to attaining them instead of standing their agape mooning at the stars and wishing...not that there is anything wrong with that just that its not being thought through as you hard working lady are doing. So my money goes on you!! Ha ha
R.
Your ever so welcome kind lady!! better a worthy woman on a mission than one with her head in the clouds I say...lols ;)
R.
Such a juicy reply, thank you Sara and no need to hush, I welcome the length.
Of late, maybe since being here it has manifested more, I am more inclined to 'go for it' with a slight 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' attitude.
That doesn't mean I am cavalier about the decision and it has to be something that has a long term benefit.
I do no twant to ever look back and think "I wish I'd..." especially if the only thing holding me back was money.
If as you say 'Time, energy and money' aren't the reasons for the delay, then a look 'back' might be in order.
I have taken that journey a couple of times and the result information that came forth was both welcomed and surprising.
Realising that my inability to ever fully finish anything was down to events going back forty years, was a revelation.
The fact that you're back with renewed determination and a clearer outlook of where you want to be, speaks volumes.
It's all about changing the 'I can't because', to the 'how can I?'. It is surprising how just putting a desire out there in the universe often opens the door to the way too. I often wonder how different life would have been with this wisdom when I was younger, but then is that not what life is for? (as Lloyds bank would say) it is 'for the journey'.
If I look back I can clearly see the points of socialisation, of childhood programming that led to me 'holding back' on many dreams and desires. The illusion that somehow, somethings are just not meant to be for me and I should just accept that. Well I am sure you know me well enough by now to know, I have never consciously accepted this, however, subconsciously, like many others, a tape of these hidden beliefs has been playing for probably 40 years.
So the answer to your question has always got to be 'me', it is me that is holding me back, whether that be consciously, subconsciously. Whether I am aware of all the times I have accepted a no or just plain manifested the 'no' myself. It has been me say no to me all along.
wow amazing what you can discover when you are awoken by the wind at 4.28am.
Peak time for brain stuff, apparently. At least I think it's meant to be the hour or so after waking up. Kind of agree.
I think you nailed it. Events and circumstances may be the 'marker' but it still comes down to choice.
The upside is, once you have made that connection, the 'limiting belief just evaporates. Unless we want to continue with it, of course.
"It's all about changing the 'I can't because', to the 'how can I?'"
How true is that ?
Looks like the weather took its time getting down to us, we've just had the 'mad hour'.
Sara,
Check out Udemy, I think it's called where you can learn bunches of topics for prices starting around $12. I saw some classes, it's all online, that would help me with some WA stuff.
And of course there is our wonder WA classes on Friday with Jay!
Thank you suzay, Yes I know about Udemy and have a couple of courses earmarked out. Thank you so much for replying and giving such a wonderful suggestion : )
When we are two we can do anything. Then one day we realize in the sand pit that others have agendas as well.
Somewhere on life's journey we loose that sense of self belief, it can take some energy to get it back.
If we forget about failing and focus on doing, the pathway straightens out.
A worthy investment of our time.
Thanks for the reminder, Twack
You are very welcome Alex.
It's interesting that as we grow, the real 'us' diminishes. We become layered with life.
If we're lucky, we read some good books and watch a few decent videos and realise that we can get back to who we really are.
We used to be fearless and inquisitive, it would be good to get back to that.
Always very grateful when you stop by, thank you.
I find that different things hold me back at different times. Unusually it has to do with something that is new. I can learn about it, study it, understand it, but be reluctant to use it or apply it in case I am incorrect, I am getting better at this however.
Thanks for this Jim. I can relate. I still have software and files that I have researched and thought, at the time, how much they could benefit me, only to leave them untouched for months. I'm not getting better at taking that next step though.
Hi Twack,
Apologies for veering of track with Alexandra below, who can be quite impolite in a tendency to hijack others threads and knock people of the main discourse at hand. lols You are of course right it is more likely to be ourselves that stop ourselves than anyone else. Something that you have stated previously regarding the fear of the unknown keeps people normally from confronting what is really holding them back and it certainly is pertinent to effect a true review of ones views. A mind reset activity change to be able to arrive at a true appraisal of what it really is that is holding back. Reflection and food for thought for the weekend perhaps...;
R.
You are probably right Rami. Inner reflection, not always an enjoyable journey but sometimes a necessary one.
Have a great weekend ahead.
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This post is quite timely and appropriate to my current situation.
One of the things which has been holding me back is an ongoing health issue. I spent this afternoon in hospital having surgery for an experimental implant device that is my final option before resorting to a colostomy. The trial period is one week, so next Thursday my Doc will decide if is working well enough for permanent placement.
I am very optimistic, the results will give me more energy, my need for sleep will decrease from 12-14 hours a night to 8-10 which will give me more time to get things accomplished.
The good vibes from my WA family mean the world to me.
Blessings to you and everyone here!
KyleAnn
You will have centre stage on my thought stage. I will be thinking of just a positive outcome for you KyleAnn.
Appreciated more than you know.
Thanks my friend 😘
KyleAnn