Two Good Deeds Deserve Squat.

First of all, does 'Two good deeds deserve squat' make sense ? Does 'squat' translate for everyone correctly ? I'm not sure, let me clarify, otherwise my intriguing title just becomes nonsensical and that just wouldn't do. In this context it literally means nothing, zip and zero. 'Nil point' as the Eurovision commentators like to say.

Let me say at the onset, I expect nothing in return for doing a good deed. There is no 'quid pro quo' in my tiny corner of the world. If you do a 'good deed' small or large, it is done altruistically and without condition. Just saying. Two paragraphs in and all I've done is qualify, time to move it along.

There was a bit of an exodus from the house this morning, my eldest was off to help pick up a

car with a couple of friends and my wife was off on a 'rescue' dog walk. I had recently sold a VW 'Beetle' body shell, for a friend and it was being collected this morning. I didn't have to be there but as I'd been the one doing all the communication, it seemed only right to be there.

Everything went off smoothly. They came, collected and went away very happy. Sweet. Can I just say, unusually for me, I already had a post in mind for today, this wasn't it. Just letting you know, good intentions and all that.

As Tara was probably going to be gone for most of the day, I had said that I would do a quick 'shop' just to tide us over for a few days, just the essentials. When I arrived at the supermarket I had changed my mind. I might as well go for the big one, then it's done and out of the way. It would make a pleasant surprise for her when she got back. Not that we're counting but this was 'good deed' number two.

It's actually never a chore for me, I find shopping quite relaxing. We also use the 'scan and shop' facility which negates the need for a long wait at the checkouts. Scan every item as you go round and just pay for it all at the end. About an hour, all told. Sorted.

Every once in a while you get selected for a random check. The little handheld scanner delights in telling you that today you have been chosen for a 'spot check'. Yay. No problem, a small price to pay and they need to do it, as I'm sure there would be some who see themselves as winners on Dale Winton's 'Supermarket Sweep' and therefore entitled to do a 'trolley dash'

Today was my day and we're cool with that. An extra few minutes isn't going to derail my plans. You know you get that feeling, the sinking one, when everything is about to unravel ? You see, my 'checker' was zealous. The size of your shop dictates how many items they have to check. As I had five large bags full to the brim, it wasn't just going to be a couple of tins. Normally they'll just grab a few random items form anywhere and get you moving as quick as possible. Not today.

Today the adjudicator was 'on one', lifting bags up and out of the way so as to be able to delve

into the deepest, darkest corners of my 'bags for life'. Then the unthinkable happened, she found an 'unscanned' item. Normally, not an issue, it happens and they usually just manually add it to the total. However, after actually climbing inside the shopping bag and me holding a rope tied to her waist, so she didn't get lost, another two items were found to be in flagrant breach of the store's terms and conditions. They were all identical apart from flavours, so I had probably just had a moment of distraction, a minor misdemeanor you'd think.

"I'm going to have to scan every item, would you mind coming over here"

No way ! The walk of shame, public humiliation, the equivalent of the 'naughty step' or the corner of the classroom. It was like a Greek Tragedy, from hero to villain. It hurt more though, as I am an excellent packer, those bags were worthy of being a challenge on the 'Krypton Factor'

So for the next ten to fifteen minutes I was made to stand and watch as each and every item was removed and re-scanned. I find that in moments of heightened emotion one can excel. I repacked into fewer bags than I started out with. A small victory but one I savoured internally.

Anyway, here's the irony. The cost of the 'missing' items was exactly £6 and yet the adjusted total was not increased by that amount. I cannot remember exactly how much the original figure was but I though it was somewhere in the mid £140's and yet, when the adjusted 'actual' total came up, it was £146 and change. I decided not to pursue that observation. I did what anyone would do, apologise for the inconvenience and go home.

Life is all 'swings and roundabouts' and it's not worth spending too much time dwelling on the injustices. Call it the 'Law of Probability' or 'what goes around, comes around' It all balances out in the end, even if it might not feel like it does at the time.

Hope you're having a superb Sunday.

Twack Romero