The Father In Me

bytru2yu

140 followers

5 years ago

I am 30 years old, and I am a single gay parent of three amazing children. I started down the unexpected path of becoming a father when I was 27 years old. They each arrived at different times and were completely unforeseen! The oldest is 11, and she has the personality of Someone who has been your best friend for years, and her diva side makes me smile. The middle child his nine years old and he has one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen from someone his age; he is always pitching in; trying to help with whatever activity I may be trying to accomplish. The youngest and my first child is three years old, and he is just out of this world and growing way too fast.

Early in the year 2016, I received a call from children services regarding my sister’s newborn baby boy! They informed me that he was taken into state custody because Unfortunately he was born addicted and they queried whether I would be interested in applying for a kinship program which would keep him within the family. It was a big decision; however, I had an immediate answer, and he came home about one month after receiving that phone call. It was a long process, but after a chaotic 2-year stretch, I became a legal father through adoption.

It was one month after the adoption finalized when I was again; contacted by child services except for this time it was through a different County, a different sister, and was regarding two children instead of one. They also became wards of the state; however, the process of getting them home would have been less stressful, but I had to find a more prominent place to accommodate two more and finish the adoption. They were in foster care for nine months, though within that time I was in contact and had visited. Finally, after the adoption; I moved and brought them home as quickly as possible. I acquired legal custody of them rather than adopting. My niece and nephew have always been in my life, and I believed legal custody was the best route because of the high hopes that their mom will be back in their lives. I decided on adopting my son because I am the only one, he has, and I believe every child deserves to have at least one parent in their life. I will always be honest and tell him about his journey, but until the day when he starts asking, I thought this would be ideal.

It was a tough decision, but after a long debate with myself, I decided to quit my job and stay home and go back to school by taking online classes. Between childcare costs and the time needed to get everything else done that is required when running a household, it, unfortunately, was my only option. Within that time, I started school and am writing a book even though, I am not a writer, yet feel that my experiences may be useful to those that may be going through the same. This new direction I have embarked on has enabled my first website and now persistently learning possible ways to earn money from home. My focus idea within my site is to create anytime support for anyone about any issue they may encounter. Still, I haven’t had much success, but don’t give up to easily and will keep pushing forward. I have no regrets, and the one topic I try to make clear is, they saved me, just as much as I saved them!

I had my entire life switched around, and it has been as there weren't any second thoughts! Well, that's because there isn't any; and I have no regrets and admire the humble person I have become. The strength it takes, especially being single is unbelievable and can understand why parents go through slumps such as having to quit their job because the need for them to be at home outweighs everything else. I also realize what needing a moment to yourself means. I will continue to embrace the idea that children do not have a definitive search engine, nor is there a book written that is going to provide exact answers. Instead of raising -a- child, I refer to it as, getting-to-know and being able to help a person grow.