Serving with Honor

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Serving: Why is it important?

I can tell you, I almost titled this post "Service with Honor", but when I think of service, I don't think of the word serve. To me, the word serve has far more power. Why is that? It seems like nowadays we associate service with low-skill jobs, low pay, and low ambition.

And I, for one, think it's unfortunate.

When I was a kid, I remember going to Bible study and hearing stories of those with power serving those without. One in particular stands out: Jesus washing the feet of his disciples - those who had served him for years.

Now, whether or not you are a believer of the Christian faith is not where I am going with this. You can be a complete Atheist and the message is the same.

Jesus, at this point knew this was his last meal before being captured, put on trial, and then put to death in one of the worst ways imagineable. The time when Jesus should be most thinking of himself, he serves others. For him to bend down and serve others during this time - well, it says a lot.

I think it's the moment that he showed his disciples how to act after Jesus leaves them, and if you believe in the Bible, it's the act that allowed Christianity to survive and spread. In that moment, the disciples learned an important lesson - humility conveys power. They learned it, because they felt it in that moment - and then you see it in many of their actions afterward.

But it's not just the Bible that talks about serving and the power it holds. I recently read a book called "Never Split The Difference" by Chris Voss. For those of you who haven't read it, it's a book on negotiation tactics. Chris Voss was the FBI's lead hostage negotiator for over a decade, so he's more than qualified to talk about the subject.

In it, Chris talks about dealing with some of the worst of the worst. People who pillage, rape, and kill with impunity. He also talks about dealing with some who just got lost along the way. The interesting thing was that he treats them all the same. With respect, humility, and honesty. In the book he outlines several tactics that he uses, but the underlying current was empathy, serving.

With it, he saved hundreds of lives that may have gone the other way without that recognition of needing to treat the other side as rational, thinking, feeling people. The other side of the negotiating table isn't your competitor, that's the situation. The other side of the table is your partner, and only by working together can you beat the situation. You have to serve others before they will see you as a partner.

Those are only two examples of how serving can lead to better outcomes for everyone. There are many others who talk about the power it has (Robert Cialdini in his book called "Influence", Gary Vaynerchuck in almost anything he talks about, Dale Carnegie in his book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" all come to mind).

Bottom line is, you want to gain power, influence, wealth? The most assured way to do that is to serve others. It's all over every business book of the last decade. Less talked about is how serving helps those who serve in other ways as well. Which is why I also want to talk about honor.

Honor: Serving's Greatest Partner

Being a military veteran, I know about honor from my days in the military. I have seen the difference between leaders who serve their troops because they honor them and those who serve because they see their next promotion on the horizon.

In a lot of things, honor is used in place of the word pride, because honor sounds better. The takeaway from my days in the military was to fill myself with honor by my deeds. It's only more recently that I have to come to understand honor a different way.

Honor, like serving, is essential to connecting to others in a meaningful way. If serving is the act, honor is the intention or feeling one has toward that act or person being served(or should have, at least).

I had a Captain that had spreadsheets for everything. He would agonize over every order of supplies, making sure that everything we needed would be fulfilled. If we were lagging behind getting setup on an exercise, he would jump in to help us get up and going quicker. If we were having an issue that was preventing us from being the best at work, he would work with us to get us back up on top of our game.

He would also publicly announce every single thing he was doing for us. If any of us got in trouble with his boss, he would immediately throw us under the bus. When he left, the system he had perfected to keep our shop running at optimal levels went with him. It was all a show to make him a Major (the next highest rank). It worked, too.

When I talk about honor, I mean truly honoring those you serve. If you are serving them just trying to achieve a goal, then you are not truly serving them. Honor has to be felt internally for the service to be powerful.

Honor is kind of like appreciation, but with love attached. It's like love, but without any obligation. Honor is the ability to serve others for the pure reason of serving someone else.

It doesn't ask for anything in return. Ever.

And it's that part of it that makes serving with honor so powerful. Giving a piece of ourselves to others with no expectation that we will ever get anything back is truly a rare gift indeed.

But it's so much harder than it sounds.

Serving With Honor

I must confess, by writing this article, I am not serving with honor. I have an ulterior motive. You see, my WA blog is one to help Veterans, especially disabled ones, be able to find ways to make money. By writing this, I am not looking for money or website comments. I am asking for attention and understanding.

You see, us Veterans segregate ourselves from society, and then suddenly have to reintegrate. Many times, our beliefs don't align with the rest of society. For us, the words Service and Honor are ones we have spent a lot of time contemplating. They are words that, at least at one point, we put our lives up for. To us, they mean something.

In this case, I am not serving with honor, because I ask something from you. But there are many who do serve with honor everyday. Many of our brothers and sisters in arms go out to the front lines - sometimes live on them - to keep us safe. I am not just talking about military, police, or firefighters either.

Some of them protect us by serving at the soup kitchen. How much bad has been done in the world because of food insecurity. Some do it by building houses for the homeless. Some sponsor lost kids to give them a voice and a future.

Don't get me wrong - giving your life in service of others is the ultimate gift you can give. Our military and police and firefighters and everyone else who does that all the time should hold a special place. However, dedicating your life in the service of others should also be held up as an example of what to aspire to.

How many of us can say that we sacrificed something we wanted to serve someone else? How about something we really, really wanted? How many can say we sacrificed a life goal?

That is serving with honor. Everytime we say yes to something, we say no to something else. What are you going to say no to so you can say yes to someone else's needs?

How Does This Apply To WA?

When you are creating your content for your site, ask yourself, who am I doing this for? Am I building this article because I think it will get likes? Traffic? Because it will help me sell something?

With this article, am I serving with honor?

How much better would the world be if we all asked ourselves that question?

I love what has been built here at WA. It's a community that is wonderful, supportive. I truly believe that people in this community have found others in this community they really do care about.

As I move through this community, my training, and growing my business, I really hope that if I ever do lose site of that question, you all will help get me back on track.

Because in that question lies all the money, success, and happiness we hope to achieve. I now try to ask that question every time I want to do anything. So far, it's made all of my relationships better, even in a difficult situation.

It has also brought some comfort and inner peace. I am convinced that as long as I follow the answer to that question, I will have as much success as I need. It allows me to trust the process.

I welcome you to ask yourself the same. Even if it's just time to time.

But don't do it because it will make your life better.

To your happiness and success

Trevis

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Recent Comments

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Hi Travis thank you for sharing your thoughts, serving with honor is a concept that we can be lacking in our modern times.
Here in WA that core value of paying it forward sits well in that frame work.

Alex

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