Fighting - Just accept where you are
As a result of speaking to a lot of you and live chat, I have come to realize that a lot of you beat yourself up about not being able to do things. You silently judge yourself and label yourself as an adequate. Worst still you compound this by silently breaking yourself that you're not further along. You haven't built your YouTube channel etc. etc.
This is not a competition and everybody's working at their own pace
Why do they do this?
You are looking and comparing ourselves to others who are more successful and then you end up feeling not good enough. Believe me, at any stage we are, there is always someone to look up to. I have lots of role models who earn far more then I do even though I have a very comfortable living. Nonetheless I'm not judging myself against them I am emulating them
What you don't realize when you mentally go through this comparison is that one of those people are on Step 12. While you are on Step 4. You cannot compare on any level those different stages. It's like comparing New York Cathedral when it was 3 foot high to New York Cathedral now!
Here’s some counterintuitive advice to deal with this self-judgment…
Just accept where you are!
It seems like a paradox...
Won’t you get complacent if you accept where you are? Won’t you lose your hunger and your edge?
Doesn’t accepting where you are mean resigning yourself to something you don’t want?
No, in practice the opposite actually happens!
Here’s how it works...
The more time you judge yourself, the more frustrated and stuck you’ll feel. The more you will feel like giving up!
Psychologists understand that negative emotions like frustration cause a “narrowing effect” in the brain.
This means you can't see all the possible ideas and solutions when you're feeling negative emotions.
It’s like you get tunnel vision, and you get focused on the problems of your life.
Sometimes there's a solution or a great idea that's literally sitting right in front of your face. And you can't see it because you’re beating yourself up for not being farther along.
Of course, the opposite is true too...
The more time you spend feeling at peace with (and even satisfied with) where you are…
The faster you’ll get to where you want to be!
EXCITEMENT is the most powerful emotion we can harness as entrepreneurs.
It’s that elusive feeling of momentum... Going with te flow.
We feel like we’re speeding down the “superhighway of success” towards our vision. That our goals are within reach.
So, here’s the brain state for creating massive momentum in your business:
Feel happy and at peace with where you are right now, and excited about where you're headed in the future.
Now, here's the thing you can’t feel both frustrated AND excited at the same time.
If you feel overwhelmed take a deep breath slowly. You can't breathe in and feel panic at the same time it's just not possible. The reason behind that is that your diaphragm is expanding in your whole body is expanding with it, therefore the possibilities are expanding. You can't feel constricted when you're breathing in
You have to give up the frustration so the excitement can let itself in.
When you accept where you are, you stop spending energy pushing against, or resisting your current reality.
What have you resist persists. So the more resist excitement the more you stay in that panic state
You stop struggling and fighting against what you don’t want.
Look…
If you're in a place that you don't like, you really can't change where you are right this second.
And you probably can't change where you are in the next minute or the next hour, or day or even the next week.
But you can change right now the way you're feeling about that situation.
Remember:
Wherever you are, it’s okay… because it’s where you are.
You are okay. You’re doing just fine.
Give up the comparison. Give up the self-judgment… And you’ll start to see magic happen in your life.
Everyone who is successful now, started at the bottom. We all had your chasllenges.
Recent Comments
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Woooh!!! Catherine just gave a bunch of us a whooping. Thanks, Catherine. The message is loud and clear.
"Just accept where you are."
Just now, I turned my light bulb on and thought about Edison and got confused. I was thinking that mediocracy does have it's place.
Nice piece Catherine. I liked it very much. We should train first. So listen up to her piece guys.
However...your piece Catherine does leave some of us with food for thought.
Being hungry is not healthy. But hunger can be a motivating factor for the food some of us will need to nourish their goals ...while climbing our mountains - something most will never even attempt or try - for certain reasons of course.
Sometimes it's hard to know which person is an Edison - trying over and over 12,000 times before we can see the light at the end of the tunnel before soaring - while learning from our mistakes along the way. I am glad to say that I am starting to soar.
Motivation is key.
Just so the reader knows. Catherine and I are good buddies, So, I know that I can weave my piece along with her piece while using some pros and cons along the way.
Luv you Catherine and your writings -151 great post. I have learned a lot from each. Many smiles. You have great experience and personality.
I am ready for my whooping now. Smiling and waiting.
Easy Talk - with Clarence
Clarence, I don't have a problem at all with your input I am grateful
that you read the post and spent the time to comment. For me, hunger is just focused concentration to get somewhere but it doesn't run on the comparison.
Nice post Catherine. Accept where you are now and if you don't like that, figure out what it takes to get where you want to be. You have to have a baseline compare your progress to right?
I mean that's what I do when my pants start getting snug...get on the scale, see where I am NOW (ok, maybe scream a little), then make my plan based on how much I need to lose.
Same principle with WA or anything reallly.
~Debbi
Making me smile Debbi "scream a little" and reminding me of my wife when I ask her, "what are you screaming about?
Lots of fun guys and smiles are healthy. We love the girls - God's gift.
I like your piece, Debbi. Thanks.
Guys, some of the posts here are much, much better than reading the newspaper every morning. This is great and wise stuff - good human interest too - jewels.
I couldn't help myself, Debbi. I promise to restrain myself forward.
Easy Talk - with Clarence
I learn from those that are more successful than me. One of those people is Tony Robbins, and this is what he says: No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn't trying.
Thanks for sharing this with us, I learn from you too :-)
We are all still learning. One of the reasons for my success is the fact that I regularly attend mastermind classes
Hi Catherine,
Thank you for the great post.
I have to be honest with you by saying that your post is the most inspiring one that I have read so far in this forum.
I know from experience because I have been looking at some great websites on the first page of Google whilst doing some keyword research then finding out that these websites are built by people here in the wealthy affiliate community, so I know that the training does obviously work well but at the same time I've been inpatient by wanting to rank the same straight away!
I know that it's a waiting process, do the hard work and reap the rewards.
Thank you again, your post has changed my mindset for the better.
I just have to go with the flow.
Kind regards
Matt
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Hi Catherine,
I have found answers to many of my questions on my progress reading your post. By nature I don't like to take any stress and really I am enjoying my journey here.
I derive inspiration from all of you successful people and try to emulate. What has made the difference here is I have got lots of guidance from many of you here which is not available in any other platform. Now I understand why some call this as Wealthy Affiliate University.
I know I will be successful for sure and I am not worried about it now. I fix my own schedules and am progressing and not stagnant which is important.
I find my productive time is increasing every day and that has given me the confidence that I will reach my goals.
I am very happy to have read your post. Thank you so much.
To you health and safety.
Srinivasan