Failing Constructively Is An Integral Part of Your WA journey, Perfectionism Sucks

Last Update: Sep 23, 2023

byTheCatherine

13.5K followers

2 months ago

Failure gets a bad rap in our society. From an early age, we are taught to avoid mistakes and feel ashamed when we fail. Our culture seems obsessed with success, awarding those who achieve goals quickly and effortlessly. my parents instilled into me as a kid that I had to keep striving until I was perfect.

But the truth is that failure is a necessary and invaluable part of the learning process. Without failure, growth and improvement are nearly impossible. Rather than being feared, failures should be embraced as stepping stones toward future success.

it took me a longtime to realize that this strive for perfectionism is a silly and unattainable goal . Behind every academic there are pushy parents, parents who don't realise that they are limiting their child's growth and ability to succeed.

All inventors have failed. Every great invention took time to develop an expand. I am guessing the first wheel was more square shaped than round. In fact here is a little story thanks to AI

Inventing the Wheel Part 1

It was on a dreary night that a stroke of brilliance came to me. For so long I had struggled to transport heavy sacks and stones across the harsh terrain. But as lightning cracked the sky, I saw the solution - a circular slab that would roll across the land, carrying my burdens with ease!

In my workshop I feverishly sawed and carved circular discs of wood, manically trying different shapes and thicknesses. Alas, my first attempt was far too bulbous and unwieldy. My second prototype was too narrow, cracking under the strain. For many fortnights I toiled, my hands growing calloused and clothes soaked with sweat. Some slabs were too large, some too small. Some shapes were ovular or misshapen. Many shattered into splinters upon the very first test.

But finally, after months of obsessive labor - success! I had crafted a wheel of ideal symmetry and sturdiness. As thunder boomed, I fastened the wheel to a cart and piled it high with sacks of grain. With trembling anticipation I gave it a push - and the wheel rolled true! The cart glided effortlessly across the rough earth. I threw back my head and cried out in maniacal triumph, knowing I had changed transportation forever!

Soon orders came flooding in for more of these "rolling wheels." In the high tower of my castle I worked tirelessly to improve upon my invention, solving problems and finding efficiencies. My failures had shown the way to achievement. Now mankind could transport untold quantities of goods across lands near and far. All thanks to a brilliant spark in the darkness of night! The village whispered I had been touched by demonic forces to create such an unholy device. But I knew the truth - persistence in the face of failure had given rise to something revolutionary!

Look at Who Has Failed Before you

The most accomplished people throughout history have often failed their way to success. Think of Michael Jordan being cut from his high school basketball team, or Oprah Winfrey getting fired from her first TV reporting job. Rather than giving up, they analyzed their failures, made adjustments, and ultimately triumphed. Thomas Edison famously failed thousands of times before successfully inventing the light bulb. He is quoted as saying, “I have not failed 10,000 times. I have successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.” This growth mindset allowed Edison to view failures as learning experiences, not sources of shame.

Paralysis by Analysis

Failure is feared by many because it can make us feel incompetent and damage our self-esteem. When we fail at something, it is easy to start questioning our abilities and talents. Failures can make us feel like imposters in our roles, especially if others around us are succeeding. Admitting failure can feel like a blow to our self-confidence and sense of self-worth. Additionally, many fear failure because it means a loss of external validation from others. When we fail publicly, we may worry about disappointing people like family, friends, colleagues, or mentors who believe in us. The embarrassment and shame of messing up in front of others can be overwhelming. Failure also means falling short of standards and expectations we set for ourselves, which can deflate our confidence and lead us to feel dissatisfied with our performance. In short, failure puts our competence, external reputation, and sense of pride on the line, which is why it's so frightening to many people.

The intense fear of failure can be crippling, trapping people in stagnation and preventing personal growth. When we become too preoccupied with the prospect of failing, it stifles our creativity, willingness to experiment, and ability to take risks. We miss out on opportunities because we are paralyzed by the fear of coming up short or making mistakes. Anxiety over imagined failures keeps us stuck in our comfort zones. To reduce fear of failure, it is important to reframe how we think about failure itself. Rather than viewing it as a disaster, failures can be reframed as valuable learning experiences that provide feedback. It is also helpful to remember that failure is inevitable and happens to everyone - it is not a sign of inherent flaw or lack of capability.

Challenging perfectionist tendencies and developing emotional resilience to criticism and setbacks can also equip us to face failures. Starting small to build confidence can be a good strategy when taking on risks or new challenges prone to failure. While rejection still stings, remembering it is not a reflection of self-worth makes it easier to develop a thick skin. By accepting that failure and rejection are a natural part of growth and learning, we can release their paralyzing grip over us.

Not all failure is created equal. Failures can either be constructive or destructive depending on how one responds to and frames the experience. Constructive failure is when one fails while challenging themselves to grow and improve. It stems from taking risks, experimenting, and pushing limits wisely. Even though the outcome falls short, a constructive failure provides useful insights and sparks personal growth. There is an understanding that failure teaches rather than defines. On the other hand, destructive failure comes from recklessness, lack of preparation, or avoidance behaviors. Rather than learning and adjusting, destructive failures reinforce poor self-esteem and irresponsible decisions. The failure worsens the situation or brings harm. Constructive failures are framed as temporary setbacks on the road to improvement, while destructive failures feel like definitive proof of inadequacy. In constructive failure, the experience is the focus. In destructive failure, the emotional response of shame overshadows any potential for education. Reframing all failures as constructive is key to overcoming fear of failure and using it to fuel achievement.

Taking steps towards your goal no matter how small is more important than being paralysed by fear. If you start to build your blog and you take a wrong term, then guess what - you can backtrack and change it. Guess what you get if you do nothing - that's it you will get nothing. Just get on with it and see where the amazing ride takes you