Than they Grew Up!

"Do you have your bag with you you're bringing to the hospital?". He shouts from the stairs as I'm making my way slowly down them. "Yes!" I tell him, as I mumble under my breath, "I'm just having a baby, not going deaf."

And so it begins, the frantic activity, the dad freaking out, the mom calming him down, or it could go the other way around too! Where once there were two, now there will be three. You bring this little one home from the hospital and stare down at their little face in awe! New mom's always say they forget the pain of labor and delivery, the minute they look in their new born's eyes! The pain did go right out of my head, that I went and had 3 little ones, in 3 years!

For three years I had one baby on me, and one in me at all times, and I would have had more if I hadn't got sick! But each one them (My girl, and two boys) are special in their own way! My daughter is the social butterfly, who loves being out and HATES being along, my middle son suffers from anxiety like his mom, but his has gotten better through the years, while mine has picked up! He still lives at home with my husband and me, along with my daughter, and they are 23 and 22 now. He either is out with friends until the wee hours of the morning, and my daughter wishes she could! My daughter may be a social butterfly, but she is extremely shy and does not have a lot of friends. She is too scared to put herself out there!

She has never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, and of course, she is waiting and keeping herself pure until marriage. Does she want a boyfriend? You bet! All her friends are getting married and having babies, and she feels like a spinster, (my poor little girl), and yes, to me she is still my little girl! Neither my daughter or my son drive! My husband is the chauffeur to wherever they want to go or be picked up from! She wants to live at home until she gets married, so my husband and I are in the process of hurrying up and finding her a good Christian guy (she gave us permission), so my husband and I can still have some living years together alone! :)

Now, we come to the baby of our family (my other son). He is the independent one. Got his driver's license as soon as he could walk (close enough). As soon as he was able, he was driving around, but he didn't do a whole lot of dating but found the love of his life, and this past March he married her. And, on Canada day they gave me my first grandchild! Okay, I can see you doing the math. Yes, she was pregnant before the marriage, but they had plans to get married anyways.

Now my husband has two kids from his first marriage I consider mine as well, so yes, we have 5 kids, and they are older than my 23, 22, and 21 years old. I still can't believe that my 21-year-old is married and a daddy now himself. I watched him with his baby son the other day, and how gentle he was holding him, and my mind flashed back in time!

Three little kids laughing as we chased each other around the park, or went for long bike rides, swimming at the beach on warm summer afternoons, laying out in the backyard and making cloud shapes on those long, lazy summer afternoons! We even ran outside one with raincoats and rain boots to dance in the rain!

I remember their first smiles, first words, the first time they walked to me with my arms opened wide! I remember the first time they saw a caterpillar or chased a butterfly across our front yard! I remember the first time we made homemade sherbert, and cookies, and them fighting over who was going to lick the bowl! I remember mother day surprises and sleepovers in the living room like we were camping. I remember their first "A" in school and being able to teach them at home! I remember soccer games, baseball games, they won, they lost, they cried, they laughed, and man they loved right from an early age. When my son got married told me he was getting married to his girlfriend our family already adored, I had tears in my eyes! All I saw at that moment, was my baby boy telling me that he was going to be a husband and a father. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I also knew at 21 he WAS ready (my independent son). Driving his own vehicle, working full time in my husband's family business. He could do it!

But, I realized I had always remembered their firsts, but how often do we remember their lasts. Do you remember the LAST time your child did something? We mark in their baby books all their firsts, first real smile, first word, first step, first time they walked, but there is nowhere to put down their lasts, so on my wonderful son's wedding day with all our children in the wedding party, except our oldest daughter who lives in another city, we gathered for pictures, and I danced with my son for our last dance! There would be no more dancing with him in the kitchen as I'd have him stand on my feet to dance, or swinging him around on my hip to an old ABBA song "Dancing Queen". Somewhehow he grew up from there to here, this moment in time!

I did a wedding speech at the wedding, and instead of all the firsts, he poem I shared with him were all about his lasts!

“Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts.

First smiles and teeth and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst.

But one day you will move away and leave to me your past,

And I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts.

“The last time I held a bottle to your baby lips…

Last time that I lifted you and held you on my hip…

Last time when you had your thumb stuck inside your mouth…

The last time that you crawled across the floor of our old house.

“Last time when you ran to me, still small enough to hold,

Last time you said you’d marry me when you grew old.

Precious, simple moments and bright flashes from your past,

Would I have held you longer if I’d known they were the last?”

“Your last few hours of kindergarten, last days of first grade…

Last school Christmas play put on, last colored paper made.

Last time I tucked you in for one last midday nap…

Last time when you wore your old beat-up baseball cap.

“Last time you caught a frog at the cottage’s rainy pond…

Last time when you ran barefoot across our fresh-cut lawn.

Silly scattered images to represent your past.

Would I have taken pictures…If I’d known they were the last?

“The last time you were sick when you crawled into my bed.

When it became the last bedtime story to you I ever read.

Last time that I smelled your hair and prayed after your shower…

Last time that we cuddled in the evening hours.

“The last time that I held your little hand when you didn’t want to let go.

The last time we made home made toffee with some melting snow.

I never even said goodbye to yesterdays long passed.

Would I have marked the moments…if I’d known they were the last?

“Last drum lesson, and last soccer goal you kicked…

The last few weeks of elementary school, last flowers that you picked.

Last time you needed dad for rides from here to there…

The last time you spent the night with that old tattered bear.

“Last time that I helped you with a math or spelling test,

Last time that I shouted that your room is still a mess.

Time and life moved quicker taking pieces of your past.

Would I have stretched the moments…if I’d known they were the last?

“The last time that you needed advice with what to wear…

Last time that you asked me for help to fix your hair.

Last time that you talked to me about your hopes and dreams.

Last time that you wore a jersey for your soccer team.

“I watched you grow and never noticed seasons as they passed.

I wish I could have frozen time, to hold on to your lasts.

For after today life will never be the same.

You’ll pledge forever to your girl, and she will take your name.

“And I will watch you, knowing God has blessed you with this day.

I never would have wanted, Phil, to somehow make you stay.

They say a son’s a son until he takes for him a wife.

We couldn’t be happier with your choice as you begin your brand-new life.

“One last hug, one last good-bye, one quick and hurried kiss…

One last time to understand just how much you’ll be missed.

I’ll watch you marry your amazing bride, and think how quickly childhood sped past.

Would I have held on longer…if I’d known it was your last?”