I figured out that I'm a fixer - What About You?
I’m curious to know what kind of personality you have! This could be kinda fun to get your input and get to know each other’s “personalities” better!
In a group of people we all have our unique personalities that define us as individuals, each person takes kind of an unofficial role? Some of us are planners and don’t leave things to chance, some of us are followers, while others are leaders, some of us are laid-back and some can be pretty high-strung. Some people work really hard and still struggle to get ahead and others seem to carry a horseshoe up their a**. It takes all kinds of people with different personalities to make up our world and each one serves their own purpose. Well, I'm definitely a fixer. I have a compulsion to have to fix everything. I know that I drive people crazy at times! Sometimes people just need someone to listen or sometimes people just want somebody to say it's OK. But, that's not who I am.
I try, really really hard, to just listen and to not offer my input or advice unless I'm asked for it. I definitely realize that not everybody wants my opinion or wants me to try to fix something for them, but I honestly can't help it! It appears that my brain for some reason believes that my life goal is to fix everything for everybody! I do my best work when I have a mission, a project, a goal, a cause to fight for. (It’s exhausting at times) lol. It can be a large, important one or something insignificant and meaningless. The point is that if I see something that, in my opinion, can or should be different, it motivates me. It gives me something to put my focus on and something that makes me feel like I make a difference to the world or just a single person.
I'm sure that I can explain it away by circumstances or situations in my life (first-born, forced to be independent, had to grow up at a young age, etc.), but it really doesn't matter. It's embedded itself to my personality by now and very unlikely to change. I think I found my calling when I had my own kids and had to make sure things were "right" for them. It has grown over the years to over power pretty much everything else. If something is wrong, it should be fixed. That's pretty obvious to me, right? No! Not always to everyone else. Most of us realize that not everything DOES need to be fixed... some of it can be ignored and not all of it is important. I really wish I could do that. It makes my life a lot harder when I feel like I'm always surrounded by things that are not quite right or things that I feel I have to change.
I'm working on this, but it’s not that easy. I know that I am not responsible for everybody else's life or their choices. My own kids are now adults themselves and I truly realize that they, alone, are responsible for their own actions, decisions, and resulting consequences from whatever actions they take in life. I can respect that. I try my hardest to not offer un-asked for comments or advice, but I also know that I usually fail. It's as natural to me as breathing. In fact my youngest son will be a father at the end of the month, and I already find myself biting my tongue when it comes to parenting advice, because by no means, am I an expert! So if my friends or family need a shoulder to cry on, rest assured that I'm still here to listen, to sympathize, to try and bring comfort, but in my head, I'll already be figuring out how to make things better.
Recent Comments
15
Okay, since you opened this can of worms I may as well jump out. I too am fixer by nature but the thing Ive come to realize is that, like you, we are all different and one thing that may work for me doesn't necessarily work the next person and I'm okay with that. I don't have to fix the problem in most cases. Sometimes just in your blog, people just want here what I have to say about a situation and my response is to tell them what I may do in a similar situation if given the same circumstances. I would plant the a seed and let time pass as difficult as it may be to wait, I sometimes see that the seed does take root and when it does it brings me a feeling of accomplishment and joy through the growth that individual. If the seed doesn't take root well, it wasn't meant to be. they will find the way through other means perhaps. We are here not only to fix things but, to learn through our experiences with others as well. If we are so busy fixing things that we don't take enough time listen and just take it in then how can we expect for someone else to take our advice and or help. Not to say in some situations that fast action isn't whats needed for a certain situation but, Overall I feel that more I listen, the more I understand whats coming at me and the better I can place it for others if and when the time comes to share me experiences.
Nice Blog, I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you :) And very good input :) I'm hoping to get to that place soon! My families sanity depends on it...lol
In most situations, I have been looked at as the leader. There are things that I know about and am secure enough to say Yes!, let's get this done!
Most of the time I like to think of things as Jim Rohn mentions:
"Do not walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Do not walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend."
i think men always try to fix things rather than listen - that was explained well in "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" - then my being a boss or owner most of my working life makes me even worse.. I am sure I will not change in my lifetime and probably don't have any interest in doing so. - it hu,an nature I think. Hope you do well here.
I guess I must be an exception to the rule, as a female fixer, as I want to fix people's pain, and fix anything wrong in my surroundings, and in people's lives, and trying sooooo hard to change that :)
This might sound dumb, but I didn't know what that meant! lol..So, also, because I'm honest, I will let you know that I Googled it :) "Innovators view the world from unexpected angles. They bring creativity and a fresh perspective to every challenge they face. They go deep to understand challenges."
Another good one :) In business as in family life, so many of these personalities that are different could make an amazing team of individuals who all have something to bring to the table!
Thanks so much for responding, and teaching me something new :)
I have had a lot of people tell me that I am a carer! It seems like I am always taking care of someone or caring about what is happening to someone. I would not go so far as to say a fixer because I do not tend to offer advice or my opinion unless I am asked. I just tend to worry about people a lot!
See more comments
FIXER here also. We must be kindred spirits. LOL You Rock! Keep up the good work.
Thank you my friend! :)