A Simple Way To Build A Habit

If you were to attend yoga or swimming class, what is the first thing you will learn?

Yes, breathing. Breathing is something we do naturally and it is a habit. We don't think about it, we just do it.

So, what happens now that you have to "learn" how to breath?

We will find it difficult to focus on doing it.

So, why is it so hard to pay attention?

Now, let's say you need to pay attention to something, like writing a blog. I am sure, half of us will drift to thinking about something else, or have an urge to check our messages.

We are falling back to our natural tendencies, yes habits.

Trigger, Behavior, Reward

Our habits have been conditioned over time by a natural reward based learning process called positive and negative reinforcement.

It goes something like this...

When we see food that looks good, our brain says, "Survival!" ... "Calories"

We eat it and it tastes great... and if it is sugar, our bodies will send a signal to our brain to remember what we are eating, where that sugar came from.

Therefore, what is happening is...

See food, eat food, feel good

now, repeat it...

Trigger, Behavior, Reward.

After a while, our brains will automatically remember where the food is...

The next time you feed bad or down... it will say,

Whay don't you try eating something good so you will feel better?

We thank our brains for the great idea and end up eating chocolate, ice cream, the 'good food' for each of us when we are sad, angry or stressed. We will feel better after that.

Over time, you are conditioned to the same process, just a different trigger.

Instead of hunger signal coming from our stomach, we get an emotional signal, feeling sad or angry that triggers that urge to eat.

Now, these same brain processes, we have gone from learning to survive to literally killing ourselves with these habits, that resulted in obesity and smoking.

So, what do we do?

We try to change our habits.

We now force ourselves to pay attention, like what we mentioned in the beginning with breathing or try to force ourselves to quit eating and to quit smoking for health reasons.

Research has shown the majority of people that have tried this before, failed on average six times.

Mindfulness

Instead of fighting our brains, or forcing ourselves to pay attention...

We add a twist to this natural, reward-based learning process to make it work for us in a positive way.

Instead of forcing, we replace with curiosity and train our brains to be mindful of what is happening.

In the smoking example, we say go ahead and smoke and be really curious about what it is like when you smoke and what is happening.

Instead of habit, mindful smoking will result in the smell, the taste in your month, the chemicals you are putting in your body and all these will product "negative" association with smoking.

Most people know what is bad for them but cannot change their habits.

We are now moving from knowledge to wisdom.

What we know cognitively that smoking is bad but now moving from that to be able to feel it in our bones so we don't have to force ourselves to hold back or restrain our behavior.

This is what mindfulness is all about. Having the ability to see clearly what we get when we get caught up in our behaviors, becoming disenchanted and from this disenchanted stance, naturally letting go.

Now, let's look at a positive habit we are trying to develop.

We want to see results in our business and know we need traffic to our websites and the way to get traffic is by writing SEO optimized blogs posts on a consistent basis.

Curiosity

We need to be curious about why we are blogging. Indulge in it. Feel it. Reflect about how you feel about it. You may want to write down your reaction and benefits.

I wrote more than 100 blogs in the last 6 months to feel everything about blogging. I have started to overcome the following obstacles and/or excuses;

• 

  
  Not a writer

• Hate to write

• Cannot write more than 2 articles a week (my initial goal)

• No time (takes too long to write one article)

• Don't know what to write aboout

I am sure you will have your list.

Now, I am starting to build the positives:

• Keyword rich articles for better ranking and attract traffic

• Better quality content for engagement

• Better engagement for better conversion

• Coversion means more income to me

There is no magic in this. Being curious make you take on the journey without forcing yourself. It is a journey of discovery.

Mindfulness is just about being really interested in getting close and personal with what is actually happening with our bodies and minds from moment to moment.

This willingness to turn toward our experience rather than giving in to existing habits supported by curiosity is naturally rewarding.

What does this curiosity feel like?

You shift your focus from the triggers to your old habits away and focus on small new experiences.

Mindfulness Training

These bite-sized experiences can help develop and build positive new habits rather than getting clobbered by this huge, scary cravings that we choke on.

So, how can your train yourself to be mindful and develop new habits?

1. Start small
   
   
2. Identify the habit
   
   
3. Be mindful
   
   
4. Be curious and use curiosity to focus
   
   
5. Reinforce with associating benefits and/or rewards with the habit
   
   
6. Done repeatedly will develop into a habit

You will learn how you respond to new habits this way able to use your natural conditioning for you instead of against what you want to do.

Hope this is useful and do click the green "Like This" button if you do and of course join the discussion below.

Cheers,