Spouses
I get absolutely no support from my husband on the IM venture. I always knew he thought I was a bit of a nut, always seeking a different way or better solution to making money on my own terms. But now I know he thinks it's a total dream and it's taking too long (he told me). I'm 2 and a half years in to WA and many years in on the "different way" path.
I agree that I wanted faster progress and more money from my sites by now but all days that I don't quit, fight through frustration or gain a new bit of understanding, I consider a success. It wasn't that long ago that I was afraid/didn't understand anything computer related. I could barely type an email.
He is reading only numbers ($$) vs. time invested and it doesn't add up. He doesn't consider the fact that I haven't worked on this at least 6-8 months each year due to gardening season/job--that time still counts against me.
I completely supported and believed in him everyday as he worked through 4 years of double trades training, which he just last week got certified for. I'm surprised that there isn't any return on that support, am I unreasonable to think that he should automatically back me up too?? I don't know.
It also doesn't matter to him that I have created a whole new position (and more days of work) for myself at my existing job, using the skills I've learned directly and exclusively from WA.
I also help a friend with her jewelry business doing newsletters/social marketing and seo work for her site. When I met her, her site was on page 9 or something like that, now she is position 5 on page 1. That's only 3 spots behind a huge multinational company. About half my income is earned between the two. But that doesn't count either he says because the whole point was to make money from the sites.
I know there are many, many of us that are pushing this IM boulder alone, but don't give up. This is where our own internal drive, tenacity and determination must kick in. Anyone else going through the same or similar stuff?
I know he will eventually regret kicking me down. But maybe it's all strength building exercises?? Maybe it's a test to see how badly I really want this??
Recent Comments
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Hi Stacey! Just thought I'd let you know you aren't alone. I know how tough it is when no one at home supports you. I've been here since August of this year and my husband often complains about how much time I spend on the computer and why I haven't seen any money coming in from it yet. I guess some people just don't understand it takes time to do all this! This just makes me more determined to keep at it and prove him wrong. :)
Keep up the good work and don't quit!
Best wishes in your success!
Sherry
Did your husband talk to mine??!! They say the same stuff....too much time not enough money seems like a dream blah blah blah. They definitely don't understand and certainly would have given up by now. I'm just savoring the day when I can show him daily stats higher than his income. That keeps me going like nothing else.
Hi Stacey, thanks for sharing this with us, and yes it must be very hard. I noticed that you help your friend with her jewelery business and this has been successfull, which is terrific. This prompts me to mention two things if I may. This could be a terrific niche for you to market on line if you are not doing this already as you are obviously good at it. Secondly in the broader picture can you start helping more local businesses in your area using the skills you have learnt well so far as this may help to create a further possible income stream? In any event I can see you are very determined and I applaude you for this, keep going - you will get there!
Regards
Hudson
I agree with you the jewelry could be a good niche, I wrote one article on it a long time ago, but since then just helping with the actual site seo'ing. There is a market for it, she has a lot of interest building just from facebook and word of mouth. I keep thinking about the local market, and know I could do something with it-like what I've done within my own job. I've started a proposal letter for potential businesses but not finished it yet. Thanks for the validation and I just have to finish that letter and hit the pavement!
Sorry for the lack of support. Sounds like tyou are focused and determined! Just keep working!
You have to look at this as a business... if you never have done anything like this before there is education to it first. To be realistic it takes some time to get the education you need this includes taking action, trying and failing before knowing what will work for you. When you figure out what works for you, you have to build your business around that... this is a process that can take years.
I know that you know all this Stacey...
Sorry that you don`t have the support at home that you need. I would go about this in either not saying much like Phil suggest or write down all the accomplishments that you have achieved this far... YES non monetary accomplishments counts as well... and show him.
You are building your biz, a biz that will only fail if you quit... don`t do it. Stick with it!!
Thanks for sharing this post with us,
Veronica
Thank you, I definitely treat it as a business-in for the long haul and that sort of thing. I have a different mindset than just about everyone I know, but that is nothing new. I'm sticking with it but probably should crank up the level of trying and failing with the sites-that's tied to summer ending as well-I'll have a bit more time available. And a little focus won't hurt either.
Yes, I need to make one of those lists, I forget too often how much I actually have learned but I think it would be useful only to me-he's made it pretty clear that nothing I've done so far counts because the dump truck of money hasn't arrived yet.
Failing at this business is not an option.
It'll be all that much sweeter when it happens!
Don't quit... keep building, tweaking and improving the foundation you already have in place... You will be fine... No solid business is built overnight.
Stacy - I'm so sorry you're not getting the support you deserve but you're certainly not alone. I'm absolutely certain it is something he will come to regret in the future. In the meantime keep at it. You have exactly the right attitude to make an even bigger success at it.
Beverley
Thanks B! It's not what I expected from him but I learned a long time ago that expectations of other people are a dangerous thing to have. I guess I forgot that. I think I expected him to be as proud of me as I am. I'll survive and fight through it, no doubt. My mother wonders where I got my high level of tenacity but I'm glad I have it-it's going to get me where I want to be, even if it takes a while!
Stacy, what a tremendous blog. I thank you for sharing. I do not believe in coincidences, so there must be some reason that I have decided to blast away all of my fears and turn this marketing thing around for me. I am a printer by trade, old school, hand set type and have been involved in advertising most of my life so I really don't know why I am so terrified of this. Although it does help to have someone in your corner to cheer you on. You are an inspiration!
Peter
Thank you! I agree, there must be a reason. The fear comes from not knowing whats ahead, all it really means is that you are out of your comfort zone. But that's where you have to be to make new strides in life. WA is a great cheering section!
I feel your pain. I have been getting the same sort of thing from my OH. She is a highly motivated person that has been consistently working her way up to her current supervisory role in her hospital.
I on the other hand tried my hand at engineering and am/was unable to make things work in that line. Every 2 years, I'm on the unemployment rolls and looking for another JOB.
Having learned a few things in this place I'm trying to make a go at this full time. It is starting to bear fruit. It's not a full time income yet but there are a few bright spots on the horizon.
Keep at it, take Jay's advice in the WAbby's and you will find your way.
Thank you, there's comfort in knowing we've had similar experiences. Stick with it! and we will get there.
Stacy - Wow, what a post. Goodness me, this will ring true for many people here, and something I had to go through also. It's very interesting to see this in reverse, because normally it is the guy who is trying to make money online, and the wife is saying that it is just a pipe dream. Throughout the 6 years I have done this, I only ever got real encouragement from my best friend Darren. No matter how many times I called him to tell him about a new technique I had learned, and how it is going to make me rich, did he ever say "Oh, well that's not going to happen".
Many people just don't see the true potential of the Internet, simply because their mind is stuck in employee mode. My advice is to simply talk to him as little as possible about this, and then wait for the day when you can say "I TOLD YOU SO!!!". Use that frustration you feel and lack of support to fuel you, to keep driving forward so you CAN reach that day where you can show what you have achieved. As Donald Trump said, "Never, never, never quit! Only losers quit". If you never quit Stacy, then you WILL get there.
The most important thing is to make sure you stick with a plan, one plan, one niche, one technique and master it. Many people jump from one thing to the next, and it then becomes very easy to have years(!) pass by without nothing to show for it. At the end of the day, making it online DOES take a long time, and you will feel "will it EVER happen for me?" ...but you just have to keep going, it will come to you ok :-) PM me if you need any advice.
Phil
Thank You!!!!! I really needed to hear that. I definitely took a risk in telling him more about this, but I'll draw it back in for sure. I so look forward to the day when I can say to him "I told you so!" I will never quit, I'm too far in to quit-I would hate myself if I did. I really appreciate your words, they've helped me a lot and I know will help others. I'll pm you.
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Thank you everyone for your boosts of confidence!
They mean more to me than you know. Thank you a million times my WA family.
That`s what we are here for!! I look at you guys as my colleagues, we need to support each other within WA when it is windy on the outside.
Stacy you are a great part of the WA family!! Go prove him wrong :) This does work and that you are already successful at what you are doing!!
i have to say it's not just my spouse that thinks i'm chasing rainbows - when i tell people i'm studying IM i get that look from planet x - it's hard to believe that there's so many people making a living at IM and there's so many people that are on the internet every day yet no one believes you can make a living doing this unless you're a website builder - bottom line though - it would be nice if the people you love would be supportive and recognize all the hard work and have a positive outlook on what we do - in other words it would be nice to get a pat on the back instead of a kick in the b$$%z
I gave up talking to people I know about it, for very similar reasons. I think its (IM) such a mystery to most that the only conclusion would be that it must be impossible. A small pat on the back would go a long way, for sure.