Are you following your own inner compass or someone elses route planner?

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In life, we make many choices, what to eat, wear, do, where to live and who to be, to mention a mere few. Every day we make these choice quite often mindless and sublimely. We act according to our own inner feelings and emotions, but mainly from our programming.

Our programming starts the minute we come into contact with another human being and a social environment. We learn what is right and wrong, what is good and bad, what is expected and when we are very young we are presented with a book of law that has been determined by other people. These other people could be our parents orour community and society.

Now as we get older we start writing in our own personal book of law and all of our decisions and judgments and fears come through the filter of this book If we were told when we were young (as I was) 'You can't be an actor, only very few make money in acting',

We have a choice. We can believe this statement of others and then this gets written in our book of law and then every decision we make goes through the filter of 'I can't be an actor, I can't make money acting'. Even if your inner compass, your gut is telling you that your souls desire is to act.

Who am I, What am I destined to do?

To really simplify psychology, I believe there are two aspects to our selves the conscious mind and the sub conscious mind. This builds two selves, 'the social self' and the 'essential self'. Our social self is the self that has developed through contact with others, it is the ingrained beliefs and programs that makes us who we are. The Essential self is our inner self which includes what we were born to do it houses our inner compass, it is our essence of who we were born to be.


I'm sure we have all heard the saying 'life is not a destination it is a journey'. I believe our lives purpose is to have peace love and joy. Every single one of us has an inner map to that bliss. But normally we don't become an adult and then just reach our destination and say 'right that's it I'm done'. We go on a journey. We meet people, go to work, love or judge others and hopefully if we are moving in the right direction we will learn and grow.

It is quite normal that if we are about to do something that is following our essential selves but our social selves conflicts with this, we will feel fear. It is really scary to go against what everyone around us thinks and believes.

Unfortunately during our learning and growing, we come into contact with many judgments, opinions and social pressure, and this causes conflict between our social selves and our essential selves. We all want to be liked and accepted, we want to feel part of a family and a community, and so quite often we believe what others and what society believes and tells us, and we write what we have accepted as true into our book of law.

The sad thing now is, we then go on to have opinions and judge ourselves and others based on other peoples opinions and judgments. The person we do this the most to, is ourselves! That voice that plays like a recording in our head plays, that has been looped on repeat, is what we live believing, and that voice quite often is destructive and restricting.

So fast-forward to the moment you decided to join wealthy Affiliate. You had an inner feeling right?You felt like you were guided here. But this gets filtered through your book of law, and the inner voice starts playing. 'It's a scam, you can't make money online, you need to get a 'proper' job' and if you accept this and believe it, in it goes to your book of law. You may quit before you have even begun, or you may continue.

If you continue, you do it not believing this is going to work. This is then reinforced by your social self, when you tell those close to you and they say 'Is this really worth it?, ' 'What?! You are working a year for nothing, are you kidding, you are crazy?!'.

Society and your community tell you to have more, buy more and in order to do that (because that's what you are meant to do, right?), you have to earn money. Community tells you to earn money you have to get a job, any job, you have to sacrifice your time, your energy, just to survive. You have to contribute to society even if that means being unhappy or sacrificing your dreams.

What you really want to do is Act, or paint, or travel, or write, have a blog and make money online but because our book of law was written in when we were 8 that 'You can't be an actor, you can't make money at acting' or 'making money online is a scam', we don't follow our own inner compass, we follow the route planner of all the people we have come into contact with and believed!

You have the power, you always have a choice

But here is the thing, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. At the point of someone else, or society and community giving you there opinion and judgment you have the choice to believe it or not. I'm not saying don't listen, but listen and take it inside. Is there conflict with what they are saying and what your gut (your inner compass) is saying?

In life, we can change our book of law, we can erase the whole thing and start again. Modern psychology has proved we can change our brains, we can re program the programming. It's not easy, but it starts with the choice to follow your essential self. Your essential self is the essence of the real you. It is the you that is holding your inner compass.

It may sometimes feel that your gut, your inner compass has steered you wrong. By making a decision, you end up in sadness or struggle. Remember life is not a destination it is a journey. As Joseph Campbell tells us, we all have a hero's journey to live.

That journey is going to come with struggle and pain. We all have to conquer our own demons and dragons, that is part of the learning, part of the way to development and growth. But is you follow your own inner compass it will lead you too much joy, love. Peace and abundance along the way.

The Moral of the Butterfly

This reminded me of the quote 'Just when the butterfly thought the world was over, it became a butterfly' - Tasamari. We all get to the point of thinking our world is over, we can't go on. But maybe we should take inspiration from the humble caterpillar.

I didn't realise that the caterpillar doesn't just get fat and then metamorphosis into a beautiful butterfly (Like the book The hungry caterpillar taught us). It actually goes through quite a horrific process. First it eats lots, gets fat, and then it sheds part of its skin to make silk to build a cocoon. It then doesn't just grow legs and wings, it actually disappears and becomes a gloopy soup.

This gloopy soup hold cells that have the very DNA of a butterfly (Isn't nature amazing). Now this gloop solidifies and liquefies several times until those butterfly cells finally form the butterfly. Here is the really inspiring part. The weak butterfly then has to start trying to get out of the chrysalis and it is hard.

However if anyone were to try to 'help' the butterfly it would just die. Because the butterfly is meant to go through that struggle to get out, it is part of its essence, its destiny. After much struggle, the butterfly emerges transformed, beautiful and able to fly!

The butterflies inner compass is to go on a journey as a caterpillar, to shed its skin, dissolve several times, face incredible struggle to emerge transformed and able to fly.

What if just one catapillar decided that wasn't a good idea? decided to go against it's DNA, it's inner compass? If it told one other catapillar, and then they decided not to build the cacoon because it was too scary. Then this fear breeds across all of the catapillars and they all believe their society, their fear. there would be no transformation, ne beautiful butterflies, no flying, even though every catapillar would feel deep inside they were meant to do something, be something else.

Just like us, our essential selves hold the inner compass that will take us on our own journey to shed our skins, sometimes dissolve, face struggle and emerge transformed and able to fly. Our very DNA holds the key, the map to all we can be. All you have to do is listen and believe and do what the very essence of you was meant to do.

What does this have to do with affiliate marketing?

Everything.

If your gut, your inner compass has led you here to WA, then this is probably meant to be part of your journey. Your essential self is leading you to write a blog and learn the lessons that are to be had here. However, Affiliate marketing is not the end destination, itmay merely be a train stop, which will hopefully lead you to your goals, your dreams.

But I give you this word of warning, even WA comes with its own community and every member here has their very own book of law and are either following their own social or essential selves. That is their journey not yours. So ask for help, and listen, learn, ask questions and get answers, but always take it inside and see if it agrees with your very own inner compass, and don't get caught up either here or in life listening and following someone else's route planner.


Much Love

Sara

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Recent Comments

95

Well said, Sara.

Your post reminds me of two Henry David Thoreau quotes. The first one being, "the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." This quote can be interpreted in a number of ways. I like to think HDT was thinking our dreams are unfulfilled and unrealized. Consequently, we give up "chasing" our dreams and settle for less.

The other quote is "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately," also from his book Walden. Living deliberately means not just going along with what other people and society tell you. Your essential self gives you choices to deliberately make.

I have ironically just finished reading Walden. I love his day of just sitting on the porch to watch nature for a day! He also made some valuable contributions to whether we work for stuff (which to him was sugar and coffee), or do we just not work and do without the stuff.

Two truly great quotes that really encompass what I was thinking when writing, thank you for such a great comment : )

Hi Sara. I'm definitely doing what I want to do. Jim

Lucky you Jim! : )

Inspirational post! Yes. I agree all of us make our own choices whether consciously or sub-consciously. We make choices to do something. We also make choices when we decided not to do something. Whatever choices are made, one thing is for sure - all f us will have to face both the good and the bad consequences, depending on the choices that we make.

Very true. Thanks for taking the time to read and to add a really valuable comment : )

Ask any 7 year old what they are going to do when they grow up and they will you tell you in fine detail.

Life happens and it then it takes time to get comfortable in your own skin.

Just like the butterfly flying from flower to flower.

The great thing about the the Wealthy Affiliate journey is that it can get us in touch with our marketing self.

Thoughtful post, Sara.

Yes we can and we can learn and grow and transform from a technophobe to a blogger and an affiliate marketer. Great place, great community. where it leads from there is all down to choices and action.

Ah the 7 year old me was so wise and so right : )

I am following my own inner compass but with help and advice from those who have more knowledge than me Sara.

Derek

That's a great way Derek. Thanks for sharing : )

Great articles and you are so right about choices and the things that got programmed into us and Thank you for highlighting the conscious mind and the subconscious mind..

Great post

You are very welcome. thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I hope it helps in the future : )

Did you know that he average lifespan of a butterfly is one month. Some as short as a week some as long as nine months. That's not meant to be a profound connection, juts interesting. All that pain and hard work for short a life. Saying that though, it's not so bad, as I don't think they have the same concept of time. It would be a shame otherwise.

Community and then commune "a close-knit community of people who share common interests"
Also you have:
"to converse or talk together, usually with profound intensity, intimacy."
"interchange thoughts or feelings.
to be in intimate communication or rapport:"

Again, not sure why that came to mind but it did. I get it though, your post, it's one of those that makes you stop and ponder.
More to this than meets the eye, methinks.
Nice one Sara.

Yes I did know that about the butterfly. Ok maybe I'll just stay as the fat catapillar hahaha

Community can also be a wonderful thing, it can give us purpose, helps us feel loved and belonging. It is home.

For some reason the story of Buddha popped into my head, (there goes my inner monk guide again lol), He was a prince, had a life of luxury, was destined to be king. He had a wife and a child.

Upon seeing all of his subjects suffering and dying he knew that his inner compass was to go out and find the answer to this suffering, even though his community, his family all were telling him he was to be a king. His programming and upbringing was to be a king.

Instead he followed his inner compass out into the desert and to his place under the Bodhi tree, where he became enlightened.

As we have discussed before, I believe a lot of the time, we attract and are drawn to our community. However sometimes we can end up in one, because we are following our programs, or listening to our fears. Or just because that was what we were born into and taught.

I love the second definition. and yes I believe we could have a lifetime of 'profound and intense interchanges of thought and feelings over this post : )
(maybe it's the academic in me, but as soon as I have written something my mind always starts to question, is that right lol)

Good old Sid, spent a while sat under that tree, 6 days to six years, depending on who you believe. Some of us might spend a lifetime searching and never attain enlightenment.
Maybe therein lies a Koan. We can search but we may never find that which we have within ourselves.
Personally, I'm currently working on the path of least resistance.

Imagine what society was saying about the prince, sitting under the tree!!.

Maybe Enlightenment isn't the goal (this time) isn't where the inner compass is pointing. So phew no 6 years under a tree : ) Anyway that was Buddhas way, not mine or yours.

I love your choice of the path of least resistance. I think I chose the path of SAS training, at my last crossroad. The one where I have to hold a Dinghy above my head for hours or get knocked down and beat up lol

But then I always have a choice at any moment, to have a sit down in a meadow or lie on the beach. there is no Brownie badge for taking the harder or easier route, or getting there fastest. Because where is 'there'? It is all in the mind.

There we are back to the mind again.

Persistent little so and so, the mind. Just when you think you've got its 'number' it blindsides you. You're absolutely right though, 'there' is a place we define. I guess the trick might be to make it 'fluid' both in description and as a point in time.

Thank you Sara - great post.
I do enjoy your writing.

My inner compass was pointing in the wrong direction.
It is now corrected & I can be confident that I am making the decisions in my life & not being swayed by others.

I class life as a book, with so many interesting & diverse chapters. A constant "read" to ensure I am going the correct way.

Denis

I love putting life as a book, with diverse chapters! what a great way to see it!

Your inner compass was probably pointing the right way all along, but you were following the loud route planner from the car in front lol. So pleased you corrected your course and got back on your road : )

Keep writing your very own book, and I look forward to reading about your journey.

Hello Sara and thanks for posting.

With every decision, I have to make it comes down to, do I have peace and if so move ahead, if I don't have peace I will not go forward.

All the best

Darren :)

That's a wonderful way to think about it, is there peace or conflict? great advice : )

I'm following Kyles - is that wrong? ;) :)

You are following Kyles training, but I believe your inner compass led you here. That is wonderful, because you have been guided to a way to achieve your dreams, by coming to this community and following the guidance here.

However I am sure you have your own why, and your own goals. If Affiliate marketing and your Niche and your blog feel right, then keep going!! If you listen, your inner compass will steer you to your very own joy and success : )


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