A Difficult Holiday Season
Don't get me wrong. I know tons of people have it way worse than I do. I have a lot to be thankful for and I try never to forget that. But this Christmas has been a really hard one. It's been a difficult holiday season, and a difficult end of the year. I'm kind of glad that both will be over tomorrow.
The Minor Irritations
Between my husband's unforgiving work schedule and our unpredictable and very crappy weather, our plans for visiting family were foiled. For our weather fiasco at Thanksgiving, read my posting here. And because of that same issue, and some other factors, we decided not to meet up with family for Christmas. Thanksgiving was just so difficult that it took a lot out of us. My husband's schedule got even more restrictive, and we just could not face the holiday and tourist traffic mixed with the bad weather.
The Sad Milestone We Knew Was Coming
We had to put our poor old puppy Zoey down yesterday. We knew it was going to eventually happen. After all, she was 16 years old, and was blind, deaf, and lame. We spent a couple of long days and nights trying to comfort her. But she cried a lot, which was unusual for her, and really hard for us to bear. In the end, there was nothing we could do, and had to take her to the vet to put her out of her misery. It feels like the end of an era. I realize that I've never been in this house alone until now. My husband and I are devastated, even though we thought we had resigned ourselves to it happening sooner or later.
The Unexpected Blow That Hurt to Our Core
Our youngest daughter and her husband video chatted with me on the 23rd of December. We were going to meet with them on Christmas Eve, but they were calling to reschedule. You see, they were going to announce to the whole family on Christmas Eve that they were pregnant. But on the 22nd, my poor dear sweet daughter miscarried. I could see that she and my son-in-law were just devastated. That broke my heart completely in two, and I cried for a couple days. On the call we rescheduled our Christmas celebration with them to the 29th, but the stupid weather screwed us over once again, and we have yet to see them.
The hardest thing is to show sympathy, compassion, support, and strength to my daughter, while on the inside, I'm falling apart into an emotional mess. Being far away and separated by weather and traffic made it all the harder. Add to that our poor dog, and I'm just sitting here shaking my head and wondering how I can get through this grief.
So We Need to Grieve and Then Move On
My head knows what to do. Stay busy. Self care. Seek emotional support. Talk it all out with my husband. Distract myself with funny movies. The trick is getting my heart to go along with what my brain says to do.
The kids will have other chances. This was only their first attempt. They are in their early 30s, so they have a long while before their opportunity dries up. And sometimes the first or second baby just doesn't take on. And if it continues, there are things they can do. All I can do is hope for the best, not push at them, and be supportive.
Our poor doggie is no longer in pain, and is in a better place. The burden that has been on our shoulders for a while has been lifted, and we no longer need to worry about the dreaded day we would lose her. We will for sure have other dogs. Not for a while though.
As for the stupid weather, stupid traffic, and the stupid job, that's a harder issue to deal with. We decided recently that we are done living here. It's time to find a better place, one with a warmer climate, no traffic, and is more convenient to the relatives. Our goal is to get out of here by Fall of 2021. We have to get our house ready to sell, find a new town, decide on a property, get new jobs (and/or get this blog thing to pay off), and make a bunch of retirement arrangements. It will be a big task, but we feel like we are up to it. The straw on this camel's back finally broke, and we ready to blow this pop stand!
Short Term
For now, I just want to put my head down and work. Blogging for my Wealthy Affiliate websites is all consuming. I can really lose myself in writing, and it's therapeutic to put my thoughts down on paper, so to speak. So, you will be seeing even more of my blog posts.
My main goal is to post 31 articles in the 31 days of January. So that's roughly ten to each website, and ten WA blog posts, and let that last one fall where it may. I have over 100 subjects lined up in my siteContent, so I'm prepared to get underway. Wish me luck.
In Conclusion
*STUFF* happens in life. Fate does not respect that you are already dealing with an issue and piles on as many problems as possible. I'm not a Christian, but I have heard that "God" (fate, in my case) doesn't give you more problems than you can handle. And what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I am pretty BAD A$$ now, with all this issues I've taken on thus far. So I can handle this, with a little help from my loved ones and friends.... And of course, with my WA family. You all are very supportive, and I thank you for that.
Please share with me your stories, and your coping mechanisms for when "STUFF" happens in your lives. I would really appreciate hearing from you, and thank you again and again for your support.
Recent Comments
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Roxxydog - I very sorry about your issues and have no advice to offer because i have never been their in your position. I have had issues just as grief stricken and found that the only thing to do was to keep as busy as I could. Map out a busy schedule and keep at it. I wish you the best going forward in 2020.
Hi Rhonda, I am so sorry about the loss of Zoey and what your daughter has gone through. I know it breaks your heart. Thank you for sharing some very painful moments in your life.
I would like to say something about a statement you heard about God, "He will never give you more than you can handle".
That statement is nowhere in the Bible. It is a phrase created by man.
The truth is God will give you more than you can handle. It is how we grow as humans. Adversity strengthens us and grows our faith in something beyond ourselves.
Also, when God gives us more than we can handle, then, hopefully, we come to the realization, that we can't do it without Him.
It doesn't matter if one believes in God, life will hammer us to the point of giving up.
Rhonda, whether you trust in a God or not, we need something greater than ourselves. We can call it fate, God or whatever, it really doesn't matter.
But I can tell something about you, you will not give up and every day you get up in the morning and you will fight the good fight.
Remember who you are, a warrior.
johnny
I agree you are a warrior with God's grace you will surmount all challenges of life. Amen!!
I am so sorry for your losses. God doesn't give you the problems or stresses in your life, Satan does. God does allow bad things to happen to good people so that you will turn to Him for your comfort and strength. And I have been through enough trials since 2002 to know that for a fact.
You're in my prayers
Charlotte
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Hi Rhonda , sorry for the late reply. STUFF does happen in life, but it doesn't take away the hurt, frustration and upset. Your WA family are with you, supporting where they can, and wishing for things to improve for you. The great thing is WA can keep you busy, and take your mind off things somewhat.
It is a positive that you have made a plan, something to work for, and look forward to. Although a lot of work and organisation, a move to a warmer climate, and being closer to family, will be good for you.
Grieving is always hard, and you do not forget that child, however I am sure that one day you will have a houseful of grandbabies and your heart will be full and happy:)
For me, I am over 2 years into work injury, just had a second shoulder surgery, it's been a long, depressing and painful couple of years, and quite frankly I have had enough. My family and friends were caught up in the Australian bushfires. Flames licking the edges of mum and dads town, and my cousin lost everything. Coping is hard, staying positive is difficult. Concentrating on something good helps, like for you, dreaming of family and warm weather. WA has dragged me through some tough times, not sure why it has that power, but it does. Lastly, an oldie but a goodie, time is a great healer.
Wishing you all the best, and hoping for better things to come for you.
Take care
Jenny x
Jenny, thank you so much for your sentiments. I am doing much better, and coping with all that has happened. I have a bunch of things going on: we booked a trip to Maine the last week in March to see my other daughter and the grandsons. I have crafty gifts I'm making for them, so a lot of creative energy is directed at that. My photo shoots for my niche blog are going wonderfully. I have challenged myself to write one article per day in January, and I'm on track for that. So, lots to do!
Sorry to hear about your family and the fires in Australia. I know just what that's like, having been through a couple big fires here in Colorado. They are pretty scary. I hope things cool off there and that your family soon finds safety.
Anyway, thank you for the kind words! Rhonda
Your welcome Rhonda, you are sounding a little more upbeat today, I am happy for that.
We are all good, although there are still fires burning, and much to do, we have had rain and they are not that close to us now.
It is what it is, and living in a country such as Australia, it happens. But I wouldn't live anywhere else:)
Keep busy making those gifts, and have a really wonderful trip. Enjoy your family, especially those grandson's, relax and ENJOY.
All the best
Jenny