Is FEAR of Rejection Holding You Back ?
Becky broke my heart.
I was only ten years old, and we had been boy-friend/girl-friend for all of two weeks.
Then we kissed and it was all downhill from there. We were too young, too easily embarrassed and it was over.
Worse than the heartbreak, however, was this event instilled a deep fear of rejection for me which literally haunted for many, many years because a fear of rejection can keep us small.
A fear of rejection can keep us from enjoying life to the fullest and it can keep us from taking the actions necessary (connecting with new people on a daily basis) REQUIRED to build a profitable network marketing business fast.
But if you dig a little deeper, you’ll discover we really don’t have a “fear of rejection” so much as we are afraid of the FEELING of non-acceptance, ridicule or even criticism.
After all we are all social beings and we both want and need to be loved, be accepted by the group and feel a sense of belonging. But it is the uncomfortable FEELINGS we are really seeking to avoid.
Fear of Rejection Dangers
According to Tony Robbins in his best-seller Awaken The Giant Within,
“…everything we do, we do for a reason. So what is this force that is controlling you even now and will continue to do so for the rest of your life? PAIN and PLEASURE!
Everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure.”
So a fear of rejection can literally stop you and your business in it’s tracks if we don’t address it properly and see it for what it really is… if we don’t find a number of ways for dealing with rejection.
You’ll witness the result of this PAIN that controls you if you find yourself not calling family, friends and those people who know. You’ll know you are attempting to avoid the pain of rejection if you find yourself constantly studying, attending events and doing anything and everything EXCEPT connecting with new people on a daily basis. And you’ll know you are deep in the midst if you are not even calling your LEADS or following up with those who have requested more information.
Here are few concepts to help you find ways of dealing with rejection.
Don’t Take Rejection Personally
When we present our products and/or opportunity to someone who says “No thank you, not interested” realize they are not rejecting you personally, they are simply not interested in the offer you presented. Which is no big deal.
Think about a waitress going from table to table asking everyone if they would like some coffee. She is presenting her product – a cup of coffee. Some people will want some and others won’t. But do you think the waitress in any way has a “fear of rejection” when presenting her product? No, not at all. Because a “No thank you, not interested” is not a rejection of her personally. It is a rejection of the offer. Make sense?
Make More Connections
Building a profitable network marketing business can really be distilled down into three easy steps:
- Connect with people you know and don’t know
- Present your product and opportunity
- Follow up to collect a decision – yes or no
That’s it. Rinse and repeat. But it is our fear of rejection… or our fear of the painful FEELINGS of non-acceptance… that sabotages many a budding mlm career because it prevents us from making those first, initial connections.
But as we just discovered a NO is not a dismissal of us personally, just a “not interested” in our product of service. Coffee? No thank you. Okay. Great. No harm. No foul.
The easiest way to of dealing with rejection in this sense is to simply make more connections because then we will find and have success and we will naturally celebrate the successes versus those not interested.
For example, if you contact only a dozen people this week and invite them to view your business opportunity and only three show up and NO ONE joins… bummer. But if you had contacted 50 and had a dozen show up and one or two actually saw the magic of teaming up with you… do you think you will walk around bummed out because 48 others did not see the magic? No way! You’ll be dancing and celebrating because of the two who said YES.
Understand the Numbers of Prospecting
Want to earn $100,000 next year in your business? Then be willing to do whatever is necessary and appropriate to PERSONALLY sponsor 100 people.
To sponsor 100 new business builders, depending on your skill, you might need to connect with 5,000 or more – even if you are really good.
Most will say, “No thank you. Not interested.” Which is fine. Not everyone drinks coffee.
So let’s break down the numbers. 5,000 divided by 100 equals 50 initial connections to find one YES.
That’s forty-nine NOs to find one YES.
If each “yes” is worth $1,000 a year… than we can also consider each no… which takes us closer to a yes… is worth about $20!
So GO FOR NO and get rich!