Twas A Fight Around Christmas

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This is a rendition from an old, dear friend of mine (circa 1980)...Isaac

Twas a night around Christmas, and all through my shack,

Not a critter was stirring, not even this quack.

My wool socks were all tethered to the chimney with twine,

Cuz I knew that old Santa liked to wear mine.

My mule was nestled, all snug in his shed,

With visions of alfalfa running amuck in his head.

My hound on the floor and I in my bed, had settled to snoring to wake up the dead.

When out in the forest came a passel of sound,

I fell from my bed...and hit my head on the ground.

Away to the window I flew like a hawk,

Tore open the shutters and asked, "What's up, Doc?"

The moon on the crest of the fresh-yellowed snow,

Didn't help me to see what went on down below.

When what to my gorgeous eyes should appear,

But a little red wagon and a whole bunch of deer.

There was that pudgy old twirp, I knew him so well.

I heard he lost weight but I couldn't tell.

They came charging like wolves when they spotted their game,

Chubby whistled and shouted and called them by name,

"Now Doc, now Grumpy, now Happy and Sleepy,

On Bashful, on Sneezy, on Dopey...I'm greedy.

To the top of the cabin or else down the street,

Now dash away, dash away, just get off of my feet!"

So up to my ruf they came with a bound,

They landed so hard they woke up my hound.

And then in a twinkle I heard on my ruf,

The sliding and falling of each little hoof.

As I pulled in my head and let out a sob,

Down the chimney he fell...he's such a doorknob!

He was got up in fur from his head to his toe,

Why he's so abnormal none of us know.

A whole sack of toys he flung on the floor,

I think he just robbed a dee-part-ment store.

His eyes how they watered, his wrinkles how merry,

Guess I got the pits and he got the cherry.

His little chapped mouth was drawn in a grin,

And underneath that beard he had a double-chin.

He had a broad face and a stomach not small,

So when he turned sideways he hid the whole wall.

So I called out my dog on this obese old fellow,

One look at him and Santa turned yellow.

They ran round and round, I used Santa as bait,

I'm sure that that night he lost him some weight.

I laughed till I cried it was funny all right,

Santa got no eggnog from me on that night.

Then I called off my hound and opened the door,

And said to Saint Nick, "Come back here no more."

And laying his fingers aside of his nose,

(His manners were poor, there the neighborhood goes.)

He sprang to his wagon, to his team gave a whistle,

And screamed when he sat on the point of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim as he flexed him some brawn,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to Isaac...game on!"

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Recent Comments

50

That was really funny and give me some holiday cheer. Good one Rick.
Thanks Scott

I actually performed this as a skit those many years ago. Merry Christmas.

That was fun to read. Cracked me up. :)
Merry Christmas to you and your family, Rick. And thanks for always taking time to help when I asked you things.

You are most welcome. All the best to you in 2014 and have a great Christmas.

Yeah, definitely clever.... the boy's got talent! Had to read it twice it was so good!

Glad you enjoyed it. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Thank ya' Rick and thanks for all of your help this year with everything! Have a great Christmas with your family!

This was great!
Thank you for the laughs and merry christmas

You are welcome. Merry Christmas to you as well.

Happy Holidays and a Prosperous ($$$) New Year!

Love the dollar signs. All the best to you as well.

Merry Christmas!!!

Same to you. All the best in the New Year.

Merry Christmas Rick!

Same to you Nenita. Thank you for all your help this past year. By the way, I joined December 27th.

Merry Chritsmas

Same to you and your family.

Merry Christmas!

All the best to you and yours.

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas to you as well.

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