Five Ways To Stand Out And Shine!
Hi guys! So it's been a while since I wrote anything but I do have my website up and running now, social media and a collection of blogs and videos under my belt. I'm super proud and excited that I have taken the first step. I've got a way to go yet but I'd like to share my latest article from my website below - Five Ways To Stand Out And Shine. I think it is very poignant at this time and may help some of you who are experiencing doubts or insecurities.
Five Ways To Stand Out And Shine!
We live in a pretty largely populated world (around 7.8 billion) of different shapes, sizes, cultures, religions, ethnicities, customs and preferences. One side of the globe may have a very different beauty ideal to the other, while another part of the globe may prefer a certain style of music. And the world of social media only adds more pressure, confusion and conflicting messages about how we should look, act and express ourselves. In fact, multiple studies have found that social media increases thoughts of having an inadequate life (as we compare ourselves to others) and with heavy use of these platforms can contribute to depression, anxiety, suacidal thoughts, self-harm and low self-esteem. When we look at this as a whole, we only see a crazy, scary world where we are not important or valuable, life is unfair, celebrities are getting all the money and luck and there’s just no point trying. How on earth are we supposed to feel empowered and unique enough to stand out? Instead, let’s look at it from a few different angles and remind ourselves that people will post what they want you to see on social media (illusions), it’s normal to experience peaks and troughs, some of the richest people on the planet are really not that happy and are under a lot of pressure and every one has something unique about them – if they believe in themselves. Do you feel a little bit better?
You see, in order to stand out you need to believe that you have ‘something’ to stand out with! We are all guilty of putting ourselves down or feeling insecure. We are also guilty at some stage in our lives of putting others down to make ourselves feel better! It’s human nature. When we feel threatened we can hit back with competition, jealousy or fear. That’s not to say that it’s excusable, but we should acknowledge it, take responsibility and then let it go. The more you feel at peace and respectful towards yourself, the more you will support and respect others. This, in itself, will project a much more friendly, approachable aura to others and will immediately make you stand out in any room. Have you ever heard someone say ‘she just lights the room up’ or ‘I’m just so drawn to him,’ or ‘she stole the show?’ That’s because these individuals know how to stand out from the crowd. They believe in themselves and have an infectious personality, smile or demeanor. Now there are good and bad to everything and it’s true that narcissistic people know how to be charismatic. But these people have a hidden agenda and are empty inside. It will eventually catch up with them. Someone who is balanced and confident will also possess charm and charisma, but they are so much more memorable because they are authentic. That is what we are talking about here!
When I was younger and in university, I was so much more fearless when it came to theatre. I still got nervous, but I believed in my innate talents and ability to stand out on stage. I knew that I had a great singing voice and I was exceptional at character acting. I can only explain it as an energy within me. Like a deep knowing that when I stood on that stage, all eyes would be on me. And if I was playing a comedy character, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I could make the audience laugh! The types of people that I would attract within my circles were also excellent actors and were very supportive of my talents. Rarely would I experience any hate or jealousy. Following university I joined a theatre group and a year later played Audrey in their production of ‘Little Shop of Horrors.’ I believed I could nail this part so that’s exactly what I did, complete with blonde wig, leopard print retro dress, quirky accent and powerful singing. The audience loved the show and the thundering applause I received every night would make me feel so happy, valuable and empowered. But as I got older something changed. I began trying to cover up who I was out of fear of looking silly to others. I dyed my hair dark (I’m a natural redhead) and it was as if I was trying to hide who I really was completely and project this false image out to the world. I would wear fake tan and make up, even if I was just in the house. Looking back, I couldn’t tell you where that point of change had occurred but I really wish it hadn’t! Because it wasn’t just my appearance that changed. It was how people saw me. My performances didn’t seem as authentic and unique. I would attract people who were not part of my tribe, who were not on the same wavelength and couldn’t appreciate me for who I really was. This created a vicious cycle of not believing in myself, not expressing myself authentically, attracting the wrong kinds of people, feeling miserable and taking it to heart and so forth…
Since then I’ve been through many different hair colours and styles which I believed that I needed, to get out of my system! To experiment and let it run its course, before finally getting back to who I truly am. It’s been a long journey and I am in such a different place now. I feel more alive again. I feel proud of who I’ve become and my natural red hair. As part of this realisation and healing process I used a profound, well written and brilliant book called The Emotion Code by Dr Bradley Nelson. It is one of the only techniques amongst many I have used (including hypnosis, neuro linguistic programming and energy healing) that have yielded such effective and noticeable results! If you are looking to permanently shift old trapped emotions for a better love life, friendships, career, abundance, health and confidence then I highly recommend reading this book and following the techniques. Get it here – you won’t be sorry!
So let’s take a look at five effective ways to start believing in your unique qualities and fearlessly stand out!
Number 1 – Work out who you are.
As I explained in the introduction, it is possible to cover up and project a false image to the world based on what you think people want to see. But ultimately it will feel unfulfilling and miserable because you are not fully being yourself. Yes you may get some short-lived attention or compliments (from the wrong people), but what is the point when it’s not really who you are? Are you doing this right now? Do you feel the need to dye your hair or apply fake tan? Maybe you want to lighten your skin? Perhaps you can’t leave the house without false eyelashes or a foot of make up? Are the clothes you choose an expression of your true personality? Or are you trying to blend in with everyone else? It’s time to get clear about who you really are. I’m not saying that you can’t wear make up or take pride in your appearance. It’s more about being so comfortable and happy and proud about who you are, that the way you look to others in real life or on social media doesn’t govern your whole life!
Create a list of everything that truly makes you feel happy, inspired and empowered. It doesn’t matter if you think it sounds corny or nerdy, just write it down. It’s time to be honest with yourself because trust me, I’ve lived through this myself. If you are trying to express who you truly are but you still have a niggling sensation inside you reminding you of your insecurities, then you have some healing to do. It could relate back to childhood over a certain length of time or a one time event that caused trauma, humiliation or feelings of abandonment or fear. This is why Dr Bradley Nelson’s The Emotion Code is such a fantastic investment. It will help you get to the root of the problem and clear it away, leaving a lighter, brighter, more optimistic you. Take your time with this exercise because once you get clear about who you are and what you want – the rest should be a piece of cake!
Number 2 – Who inspires you?
As a kid, I thought that I would obviously grow up to be a Disney princess or Barbie’s new ginger friend. Funnily enough, I was wrong on both accounts. As I clumsily trotted into teenage life I started to feel quite insecure about being a pale redhead. I was never really bullied like some kids are, but the odd remark (even if it was said in jest) really affected me. I started to hate my recessive MC1R gene and wanted to fit in with everyone else. This is probably where it all began! However, growing up in the 90’s and early naughties had its perks as more redheads were appearing in popular culture. Think Rose in Titanic, Ginger Spice from The Spice Girls, Willow in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Scully from The X Files and Drew Barrymore’s Dylan from Charlie’s Angels. This, I recall, helped me massively in feeling proud of my red hair and appearance. Even now, over twenty years later, if I need any inspiration, I go back to the porcelain complexion, the beautiful costumes, the romance and that gorgeous red hair of Kate Winslet’s Rose from Titanic! And I feel whole again! Yes redheads are rare and only make up 2% of the global population, so I am very fortunate to have had a variety of flame haired beauties to keep me motivated. I am telling you this because it is really important to find others, whether famous or not, that you can love and admire, who are similar to you in appearance. That is not to say that you can’t admire other types of people, but to feel confident in yourself and learning to love yourself, it’s certainly helpful that they look similar to you. Not necessarily a ‘lookalike’ but similar skin tone, hair colour, personality traits etc. This is just a kickstart to feeling good about yourself! Which leads us onto…
Number 3 – Get comfortable in your own skin.
Self-love, self-belief and self-respect are not just terms that have been made up by motivational gurus! There is truth in them and until you can remove the layers, heal and really feel comfortable in your own skin, don’t expect the world to love you or treat you with respect. Many people like to wallow in self-pity and play victim. They think the world is out to get them and that everyone else is the villain. In reality, their behaviour and energy will also contribute to how people treat them. Are you going to take responsibility for this and break the cycle? Or are you going to stay trapped in your own emotions? Just how is that working out for you? You may also find that as you gain more confidence and empowerment and begin to create a more joyful, abundant life, some individuals will not be so happy for you. These individuals you may even have classed as ‘friends’ or they could be family members or close work colleagues. Please don’t worry about this. It’s perfectly normal to encounter negativity. Sometimes you just outgrow people and once you’ve walked away and freed yourself of these shackles, it makes way for new, more supportive and positive people to come into your life. People who are on the same wavelength or energy frequency as you. It’s time to fall in love with yourself and everything you stand for. Not in a narcissistic way, but a healthy and balanced confidence that shines and makes you a better human being all round. Like the following quote from motivational speaker and author Lisa Nicholls:
“Growing up I always said I have to learn how to love my mocha skin, my full lips, my round hips because the world didn’t love it. I remember in fifth grade I wanted to be one of Charlie’s Angels and they had a competition and I won every single event in the competition. And at the end they selected three other girls and when I asked why they said, “Well, Lisa, what Charlie’s Angels girl do you look like? You don’t look like one.” And I remember that really had an impact on me and that for twenty years I’m speaking in front of 3,000 people and Ms Wagner the Bionic Woman, she was one of the Charlie’s Angels and she said, “You are the real superhero.” And that really meant something to me. So there were plenty of times when I wasn’t light enough, pretty enough, hair wasn’t long enough, so I had to fall in love with Lisa first.”
So I cannot stress how important it is to embrace who you are naturally. Be proud of your own personal beauty. It may feel a little uncomfortable at first. Especially if you are like me and have been hiding under many layers for years! But I assure you that with the right attitude and commitment, it gets much easier. Take time for yourself, get out in nature, wear comfortable clothing, go without make up for a day (your skin will thank you for it) and give to yourself without worrying what others think! It’s time to feel good in your own body right now, not tomorrow, but now. Yes there’s always room for improvement but it should never dictate your value to yourself and others! For more motivation and empowerment, you can check out Lisa Nicholls YouTube channel here. You can also get her book ‘No Matter What! 9 Steps To Living The Life You Love’ on Amazon.
Number 4 – Celebrate all your achievements.
This is a relatively easy exercise as it’s based on events that have already taken place. No visualisations or getting out of your comfort zone necessary here. You simply have to list them. Anything from passing exams, rescuing an animal, fundraising for charity or making someone smile, to a work promotion, starting a business or learning a new skill. If you have any photographs or video clips then use these too. Learn to accept that you are good at something and you have made a positive impact in the world. You may be surprised at what you uncover as you dive into the depths of your memory. You’ve probably forgotten half of your achievements! But re-live them, savour them and use this as a foundation for self-love. As you accept and love yourself more, you will become more sociable, attractive to others and you will be able to give and receive compliments.
Number 5 – Dream big.
Once you’ve established how pretty freaking awesome you are and you are more alive, vivacious, confident and ambitious – you can really start to visualise what you want out of performing, voice acting, motivational or public speaking or whatever it is that you seek vocal coaching for. Don’t half heartedly think ‘one day, I might…..if I’m lucky, or I have the money etc.’ That won’t do anything for you! Get out there, network, meet more people who are interested in the same things and have fun whilst doing it! Life is way too short to procrastinate. Yes some things take time. Yes you will come across some challenges. Yes you will second guess yourself for a while. Yes some days you won’t feel like doing anything. All perfectly normal. But stay committed to your path and your dreams and don’t let anyone ever tell you any different. It’s not so much about what car you drive, or how much you earn or anything materialistic (though those things can be a result of making dreams reality). Do not compare yourself to others and always believe that you are deserving of success as much as the next man or woman. There is no hierarchy in this world. That is just an illusion created by men at the top! If nothing else, give yourself the gift of infinite possibilities. Like the American motor car tycoon Henry Ford said:
” Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are probably right.”
Read up on books such as The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, The Only Thing That Matters by Neal Donald Walsch, Think And Grow Rich by Napolean Hill, the above mentioned No Matter What! 9 Steps To Living The Life You Love by Lisa Nicholls and The Emotion Code by Dr Bradley Nelson, Ask And It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks and Cosmic Ordering: How To Make Your Dreams Come True by Jonathan Cainer. Getting clued up on how to make your life abundant in all areas is literally the best thing you could ever do for yourself and those around you! Start now! So applying all five of these techniques to your life will not only enhance your own social circles and how you come across to the world in real life, it will also help you to really shine on stage, screen, social media etc. Well they do say that ‘life imitates art.‘
Recent Comments
1
Very nice, Rachel! You remind me of Sabrina (Kate Jackson) from Charlie's Angels!
Jeff