The Truly True Story of the Internet
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did marry a young wife by the name of Dorothy. Often she was called Dot Com. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg… Indeed, she was often called Amazon DotCom.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town
with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a fully loaded camel, but said unto her, "How can this thing be done, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place in all the towns drums. And also drums in between the towns. With these drums will we send out messages speaking of the goods you have for sale. Others will reply telling you who hath the best price. Verily, the sale can be made by the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot make good her plan with the drums. And henceforth the drums rang out and brought forth much increase to Abrahams riches. Abraham sold all his goods at top price, without ever having to move forth from his tent.
And so that other countries did not understand what the drums were saying, Dot devised a secret system that only she and the drummers could understand. Verily, It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS). Also she brought forth a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the duck take to water. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new found riches and the deafening sound of drums that it went unnoticed that the untold riches which were given to the rich drum dealer, Brother William of Gates. He it was who gave money to every drum maker to use his wares only, and which would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot spake, "Oh, Abraham, what we have begun is overcome by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, which was also know as eBay.
He spake, "We need a name to bring understanding to the people."
And Dot spake unto him, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO!," said Abraham.
And because Dot brought forth this plan, they called it YAHOO Dot Com. Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) in the tribe, henceforth used Dot's drums to locate goods through out the whole land.
Soon it was known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE). That is how it all began.
And you thought it was Al Gore.