The Truly True Story of the Internet

Last Update: January 09, 2016

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did marry a young wife by the name of Dorothy. Often she was called Dot Com. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg… Indeed, she was often called Amazon DotCom.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town

with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a fully loaded camel, but said unto her, "How can this thing be done, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place in all the towns drums. And also drums in between the towns. With these drums will we send out messages speaking of the goods you have for sale. Others will reply telling you who hath the best price. Verily, the sale can be made by the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot make good her plan with the drums. And henceforth the drums rang out and brought forth much increase to Abrahams riches. Abraham sold all his goods at top price, without ever having to move forth from his tent.

And so that other countries did not understand what the drums were saying, Dot devised a secret system that only she and the drummers could understand. Verily, It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS). Also she brought forth a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the duck take to water. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new found riches and the deafening sound of drums that it went unnoticed that the untold riches which were given to the rich drum dealer, Brother William of Gates. He it was who gave money to every drum maker to use his wares only, and which would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot spake, "Oh, Abraham, what we have begun is overcome by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, which was also know as eBay.

He spake, "We need a name to bring understanding to the people."
And Dot spake unto him, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO!," said Abraham.

And because Dot brought forth this plan, they called it YAHOO Dot Com. Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) in the tribe, henceforth used Dot's drums to locate goods through out the whole land.

Soon it was known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE). That is how it all began.

And you thought it was Al Gore.

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Kipps Premium
Brilliantly composed. I will use the link to my ENTERTAINMENT page on my site.
iodete07201 Premium
Wow. This is wonderful. Thanks for sharing, you made my day!!!
mskauai Premium
Love it ! I'll have to let my uncle flynn read this... he's retired from Microsoft.... and is faithfully religious... he would sooo get a kick out of that -- thanks for sharing !
LesleyHamlin Premium
That was absolutely brilliant - I love it.
mckm Premium
Great story and images. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
katzee Premium
I just loved the biblical dialogue, and it was a very amusing take on how Google came to be. Thanks for the laughs.
Wayne66 Premium
Gooooooooood stuff. Turns out the internet has been around for thousands of years not just a couple of decades? Naaaaaaaa.
playfulheart Premium
So I've been told.
Mike-Writes Premium
Great post, Michael!
RobinTheresa Premium
WOW.. You have quite an imagination. I really did LOL when I was finished reading this. Fun. Thanks.
Pisquali Premium
Well done, gave me a morning chuckle
smmudie Premium
That was great . Very clever
lookingglass Premium
That was AWESOME!! I hope you don't mind me sharing it with some friends!!
playfulheart Premium
Please do!
DaveSw Premium
LOVED this! Quite an imagination here, and so entertaining! Thanks for sharing!! Dave : )
GinaGo Premium
This is great! Thanks for the laugh.:)
AngelBcn Premium
Good one! :)
RoopeshG Premium it to bits.Thanks
BarryJ Premium
I knew there was more to it than the drums were telling us. It was a secret language, and to many, it still is.
Good job
KatieMac Premium
ha ha ha love it can just imagine that playing out thanks for the laughter
Elijah1916 Premium
Thanks. Laughter is the medicine for the soul.
Fgonzaga Premium
That is a cute story.
jaker Premium
awesome very creative!!!!
tomtitty006 Premium
That is genius,I loved reading your blog.You certainly are young at heart.
MarionBlack Premium
I love it!