How Do You Find a Mentor?

Last Update: October 11, 2019

The title of this post might seem strange given that if you're a member here at Wealthy Affiliate (WA), you've already found great mentors in both Kyle and Carson.

But, if you're not a member, and you're reading this, you might still be looking for that course or training that will fit with your needs.

A common way some "gurus" advertise themselves as people to follow is by flashing images of their supercars and the hot girls that surround them, all in front of the big mansion they've bought with their profits.

Or they'll show screenshots of the oodles of money they've made from the various affiliate platforms.

Over the years I’ve learned to not be easily impressed by what people show me on social media or on their sales pages.

  • That expensive car that people brag about - the one they sometimes can barely afford (but can afford to rent for a day for PR purposes).
  • All the money screenshots they post mean nothing if they’ve helped no one except themselves.
  • All the smiling selfies on the beach don’t always tell the whole story.Same with all the smiling selfies in front of "their" mansion (also easily rented for a PR stunt)
  • That laptop lifestyle. Don’t even get me started here… who the hell takes a laptop to the beach… really now? Sand, salt water and laptops don't mix! And who can read the screen in the blazing Sun anyway?

When searching for a mentor you should ask yourself a few things:

  • Have they actually helped people or only helped themselves?
  • Do they actually add value or just brag about how much money they make daily?
  • Do they represent your core values and beliefs?

People easily get impressed by money screenshots, which can be faked very easily in Photoshop by the way, or what people buy.

Someone’s lifestyle doesn’t help you one bit. What matters is: will they actually help you?

When I started out, there were very few criteria for selecting a mentor. Someone who seemed to know more about a topic was pretty much it.

But, over time, I came across "mentors" who didn't live up to that description for a number so reasons.

So, with experience, I became more picky about the people I picked to learn from.

The mentors I’ve selected over later years had qualities I valued like:

  • They care about their customers.
  • The ability to teach me to level up my thinking in my personal life and business (they go hand-in-hand).
  • They were a family person and very balanced in their personal life which is something I wanted for myself.
  • They were motivated by impacting others more than how much money they make for themselves.
  • They were very direct, didn’t sugar coat things and will call me out on my BS. This forced me to constantly play big and stop making excuses (which is so easy to do).

By surrounding myself with people like this, their beliefs, values and morals rubbed off on me.

So when looking for someone to learn from, don’t look for anyone who posts money screenshots on social media. This is not helpful at all.

Make sure they’re generally a good person and can help you level up in your life.

At different points in your life you will need different mentors to teach you different business and life skills.

I will always have a mentor in my life to keep helping me level up to become a better person.
The final note I want to touch on here is never go to a mentor with the attitude of help me.

Never expect your mentor to do the work, to constantly motivate you and make you feel good.
A real mentor will not tolerate your small minded thinking, they will call you out when you make excuses and they will expect you to go full out to your full potential.

Someone who just posts cute quotes and makes you feel good in the moment is not a mentor.
Motivation is very short lived. You want to surround yourself with mentors who will push you to grow up, level up and take action to reach the goals you set for yourself.

I remember one time when I hit a wall and went to my then mentor pleading for help.

I said “But Adam, I don’t know how to do this tech thing”.
He said “Gary, you know how to use Google, Youtube or buy a course to learn, right?”.

What he taught me is that successful people don’t make excuses; they always do the adult thing and find a way to solve the problem they’re facing.

They're self-reliant and self-motivated.

Find a mentor who will help you level up. It’s the best investment you will ever make. :)

I've listed some people I've come across who meet all the requirements fo r being fantastic mentors in this blog post on my main site (which this post was inspired by).

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Tirolith Premium
“The only way to be anywhere near perfect is to be part of a team.

That way all our abilities when put together make us near perfect.” Tom Short.

“People who cannot accept the opinion of others do not have an open mind and are not as lucky as those who have an open mind to grow their opinion which is their future lifestyle.” Tom Short.

"Sharing is caring. Team-work creates success. Joining the team brings success." Tom Short.

"As a person, we struggle through life. As a team we have fun speed learning together with a life with growth." Tom Short.

“Believe in Yourself then You and Your Mentor will have Success.” Tom Short.

Thanks for your time,

Tom.
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megawinner Premium
Mentors are those who has opened your mind to possibilities and show you how to get there in the most practical and realistic way possible, with nuggets of wisdom to carry with you on how to trek the way. Mentors are hard to find, so when you find one don't let him go, ensure you learn as much as you can from him. Great success are accompanied by people who showed us the way.
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Linda103 Premium
Must admit it never occurred to me to ask anyone to be a mentor, not 10 years ago when I started a business online knowing nothing or when i started at WA in April.

I thought I was the only one who wondered about having a laptop on the beach.

I always thought the more they tout their amazing lifestyle the more desperate they sound. If they are making so much money from their 'system' why are they so desperate to flog it to others.
They certainly never seem to come across as philanthropic.
Thank you, enjoyed your post.
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nightwatch Premium
Thanks for your comment, Linda. You're right - desperation does often shine through. For the bad mentors, getting money is the goal. For the good ones, money is a means to an end and its often put to philanthropic use.
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Linda103 Premium
Exactly. That is why we are here at WA, it is a good one.
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