Your impressions of people are awesome. Funny I would do the same. I might as well tell you my story, just last night I did a caricature party and wanted a bite to eat at Jack n' the Box. Not sure you have it in Belgium. I got my meal and sat to eat when I sensed a person outside of the restaurant was watching me.

I had breakfast meal and a side salad. Didn't finish the salad so I asked for a package and put my half eaten salad in and left out the door. As I was about to go to my car I turned and an elderly homeless woman in her 70s, I assume, locked eyes with me. and I walked over to her and asked if she was hungry. She reached out to me thinking I was going to give her my leftover veg. salad.

I told her to come with me and let's get you something to eat. I told her to pick anything she wanted for it was my treat. She got 2 small burgers and a medium Coke. I asked her she could have anything she wanted, y'know there were better sandwiches other than small burgers. That was all she wanted and was appreciative for the treat. I gave her a hug. Funny, Michelle she didn't smell y'know bad. I took she lived in a commune-like setup. I said goodbye and I left the restaurant. She followed me out and asked for $3.00 for bus ride back home.

I knew the district and it was 15 miles away.

For some reason, I believed her but instead of $3 I gave her a $20. Why did I do it???

Simple, I trusted her and yes Michelle I too had the feeling it took
her guts and set aside her pride to ask me.

I didn't have the heart to deny her asking.
Thanks for sharing your experience for it does resonate with me.


frank =)

I always feel you should go with your gut feeling at the time and if you feel the person truly needs help, then help them. There will always be scammers and will you really know if you are being scammed or not. We are people who always want to believe someone is telling us the truth and we want to help. All you can hope for is that he used the money to get back home. You did a good deed and helped someone.
Marylou

I live in a city with a lot of homeless, and you never know if what you give them goes for food or alcohol or drugs. I take someone's need at face value, give them a couple of dollars if I can and I leave it up to the universe to watch over them.

You helped him. It was about your desire to help. That's what was important. There will always be scammers. But for me personally, I don't want the scammers to deter me from making an offering to someone who truly needs it.

Great post, but I feel you are overthinking your good will toward your fellow man! I often thinks about this type of thing when I see people "begging" for money and follow my gut and give what I can-I'm never sure if they are being honest or not but I give what I feel I can afford and leave it at that-glad that I could help any at all. Makes me feel better to be able to help whether they actually needed it or not...

People do get unlucky during travel, and sometimes wind up like the fellow you met. That’s why the plausible scam of the stranded traveller persists. It just might be true!

You were kind, but you also asked for proof, which makes you a little more awake than most.

You also asked if there were any way to spot a liar. Yes - there are many ways. And there are many interesting books on the topic. What you call your ‘gut instinct’ is not that, but your subconscious response to numerous weak signals being broadcast by a person.

Sometimes that feeling is well-founded. But sometimes... it’s not. Some people have a tendancy to label anything new and unfamiliar as threatening or suspicious, while still able to swallow the most ridiculous lies from people who sell themselves as familiar and ‘one of them’.

Those with anxiety issues will also unwittingly broadcast the same signals as those who are liars, and if it matters to one’s livelihood, you need to be able to tell the difference. Airport officials cannot for instance, waste time and money detaining innocent travellers just because of their own bigotries and insecurities.

You also just reminded me of a moment with a scammer that occurred soooo many years ago:

I was walking into a shopping mall with my husband and a diplomat we were organising some concerts with, when we were stopped by a charity collector. I was pregnant with my second girl; our eldest was in my husband’s arms.

‘Victorian bushfire appeal?’ the collector asked.

‘Oh yeah!’ My husband and our diplomat friend said, digging deep into their pockets.

I said nothing. My eyes narrowed; and I became aware that he was aware I was studying him. He started to fidget nervously.

I observed: a very unofficial fire fighting uniform. It was so badly in need of ironing it looked like crepe paper. Dirty. Dubious insignia on the shoulders.

In his hand for cash collection, a small, repurposed ice cream bucket with a slit roughly cut into the top. On the side of the bucket, in the shaky handwriting of someone who seldom writes, a misspelt version of ‘Vic bushfire apeel.’

His presentation: emaciated druggie with nervous ticks. The more I looked him up and down, the more ‘tickish’ he got.

...all the same, my companions dropped their good money into his stupid bucket and continued indoors. Over my shoulder, I could see the imposter breaking into a sprint through the parking lot as soon as we got inside.

I pointed him out to my husband and friend. ‘What did you do that for?!’ I asked my companions, explaining how he was a fake. Neither had picked up any of the cues. They were too busy performing their feel-good theatre of charity for each other to notice that stuff.

When asked why I hadn’t challenged him myself before speaking to the mall’s management, I had to explain that I’m really not interested in getting into a confrontation with a skittish druggie while pregnant or with small kids that might be hurt. Could you risk it?

The moral of the story: you will encounter plenty of liars trying to do business with you. But you will also need to pick your battles carefully.

Hay there Michelle, your story reminded me of an experience that I went through with my X when we were visiting Spain. My X worked for the Government of Costa Rica CA and the Government are given free tickets during any given year.

If they don't us up these ticket in the year then they are given to outstanding employees and there wives. In our case we were able to travel to Spain for two weeks.

We had a wonderful time but as we got closer to our departure there was a strike that accursed in France and all fights out of Spain were cancelled that put a lot of people leaving Spain missing there fights.

There were literally hundred of people sleeping in the airport us being one of them. Our ticket had nothing to do with France so we thought we would be OK. But My X being a very causes person called Costa Rica before hand.

We missed our flight but the Family came through and we were able to return with no mishaps. Only had to sleep in the air port one day. Others had been there for a week. We got the tail end of the strike. So I know what it is like to be stuck in an airport. Not a good feeling. My heart went out to that fellow and I hope he made it home.

I like your analogy and how you used it. Life experiences tend to do that but there are not many people that reflect on them and use this experience in there every day lives. So thank you very much for your analogy.

As we where young when we had the mishap in Spain we used this experience to always be prepared and plan better no matter what we where doing.

Always a better way Linda

That was awesome what you did for that stranded traveler. We too often forget that there was a time that we needed help, asked for it and did not receive it. Yes, he took a chance and asked for help and was rewarded for it. How we look at ourselves and our community often dictates how we react to others. YOU PROVED THAT PAYING IT FORWARD APPLIES TO ALL SITUATIONS IN LIFE. My hat is off to you and thank you for inspiring us all to be more than we are.
Jerry

We really don't know the back story of "beggars". One time I had just bought a fast food meal and then saw a man asking for money because he was hungry. I offered him my burger and he eagerly accepted. We shouldn't be so skeptical of people that we ignore those who really need help.

On another note...4 languages and traveling between countries ..very cool! That really opens your eyes to human conditions beyond what we read in the news.
Debbie

Michelle you are brave.I am always weary of people begging in public places. Yes you have to trust your gut feeling.Once I was approached by a well dress gentleman at a Philly airport.he gained my attention by pointing out my Rotary pin and claimed to need some monetary help. My gut feeling did not trust him but zi felt guilty. I watched him from a distance and it turned out that he had a routine for begging.he knew how to spot members of different organisations.

Great lessons from here on so many points:-

The world we live in has become so harsh to a point that you can never be too sure of whether this SOS is genuine or not...I hear on that and yes the gut feeling is usually right.

It's a good thing the mystery traveler had the good fortune of meeting you at that precise moment because he would be ten euros stuck for a longer time.

Risks are part of the fabric of life. You cannot entirely avoid them and in hindsight just imagine being in his shoes even for a minute...that should be your comfort.

You did good!