Hiya fellow inmates. Welcome to another of My Mate, Bert's Backwards Guides.
In today's episode Bert, my best imaginary friend, gets to grips with a very little known Chinese martial art - The Ancient Art of Not Advertising!!
We first mentioned this ancient system years ago on a Google Blogger Blog thingy what Bert set up & then promptly forgot all about until NOW. Bert says now it's your turn to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and bend an ear, fellow inmates.
The Ancient Art of Not Advertising
Do Not Advertise - that's the basic idea. It suits every niche and every nook and every cranny, (when we find out wot one of them is we'll let ya know).
Sound Crazy? If ya stop for a minute or two and have a really good hard think about it the Ancient Chinese sound like they must've been off their heads or far too busy down Ye Olde Worlde Chinese Boozer. But they always were ahead of the Western Nations wot had just invented bashing each other with rocks while the Chinese was doing it with explosives.
The Ancient Chinese understood that advertising get's right in the way of Ye Olde Worlde Chinese Boozer's opening hours and the principles of not using Ye Olde Worlde Chinese Boozer as a bloomin' office.
If ever ya apply yourselves to the Ancient Chinese Art Of Not Doing Beggar All While Ye Olde Worlde Chinese Boozer's Open you'll gain an incredible amount of expertise in the art of Not Advertising.
No-one ever got to see any of the lovely ancient Chinese websites, so the idea clearly works. And it left the ancient Chinese with plenty of time on their hands so off they popped and kept building great long walls wot went to the other end and back.
Helping Your Fellow Men. By applying the strict methods of Not Advertising No-Where No-How you'll be helping your fellow humans to avoid the problems of seeing your affiliate marketing websites and then noticing that their own are total and utter sheep's dip.
The Not Advertisingness Of It All
Ever so yonks ago, before we had invented light bulbs and all sat in the dark wondering who was going to be the first person to invent the light bulb, the ancient Chinese didn't have light bulbs either.
The Ancient Chinese knew all about 'The Not Advertisingness Of It All'. They were famous for the years long debating sessions where they discussed nothing really of value whilst perfecting their Not-Advertising techniques.
Following The Experts. If you ain't an ancient Chinese person from yonks ago you may never have heard of this subtle but effect technique used by the ancient Chinese. Now we've invented the internet we can tell just how good Not Advertising methods are because there ain't nothing on their about this fabulous ancient technique - that's how good the system works, even today!!
That show's just HOW GOOD THEY WERE at Not-Advertising, I suppose. It's truly dedicated & professional Not-Advertising, that is!!
A major benefit of Not Advertising comes when the invites to the next Shhh...We-Ain't-Advertising-Conventions start to role in. Here all the latest info and methodolgy of Not Advertising are driven to new peaks of perfection and nobody advertises ANYTHING. How cool is that?
So if you don't want to get stuck in a field with a shed-load of morons remember Bert's sound advice, won't ya?
Spend as long as you like making a brilliant splash page or blog, or whatever you think of next in some vague hope of millions dropping down from the skies. Just don't advertise - then you'll have completely wasted your time.
Come back next week for some more sound and insane affiliate marketing advice in Bert's Backwards Guide when Bert goes off on one about something or other.
Ta Da, fellow inmates - the guards' bribes are running out coming so we're hiding until parole.
If ever ya wanna know who the heck Bert says he is checkout his sorry old story at his first Blogger thingy until he got bored and wandered off in a huff!!