Discussing values with Hemmingway!
As many of you may or may not know, I am passionate about a few things in my life, one is writing and literature, two is my immediate family and three is helping people achieve what they desire in life by setting and achieving goals. I often, at the most inopportune moments get a Eureka moment that further clarifies a point I am working on in my life and the other day I had one.
I would like to think you noticed but in my heart I know you didn't, that I have been quiet on the blog front this last week and its because I have been pondering and wandering about goals and why people don't set them. I discussed my recent weekend with Hemmingway this morning with my wife and through glazed eyes she said 'you may have a point'. I love having trips with the rebels in life, their thinking helps me in times of trouble.
Last weekend I was invited out on 'pilar' with Ernest Hemmingway for a meeting of the minds in Bimini, over a nice cuban and some Martinis, along for the ride was D. H Lawrence, another of my heroes. We had decided on the trip to discuss my Eureka moment while catching some Bluefin and some Dorados with the master. I was discussing the fact that my goals course was just not received well because "after all" goals are boring and dry. Ernest sipped his Martini and said 'Son, It is good to have an end to journey toward but it is the journey that matters....in the end".
"This is so true", I said "but to get people to do goals there must be more, I mean why is it so boring"
D. H Lawrence turned to look at us both and said through the cloud of cuban air, " ..get them to write the truth, MikeyB...all you have to do is get them to write 1 true sentence'. Now for those of you who don't know David Herbert Lawrence, he is a wonderfully bright and eloquent but misunderstood man and he relishes in the trips that Ernest and myself undertake. A quiet man but when he speaks he speaks a volume in but a sentence.
I stared at David with a grin and a wink and said, "thats it, it's the truth, its all about values and who we are, I mean how can we know where we want to be, if we don't even know ourselves"
I was watching the massive forearms of Hemmingway working the Pfluegar Templar 1420 reel as he wrestled with a Marlin and I yelled over the screaming line, "Its about Values, I knew it". My Eureka moment was confirmed. He puffed on as if to not notice my prescence.
I sat on the bridge and began writing......
"....when I had a business, we had Mission statements and these were made up from our values, everything had to be in line, we called in congruency. How could I plan the business out if I didn't know what the business was about, what it believed in. I had to know that when I walked the walk I was walking my values."
The sun was getting hot, it was 3pm and Ernest and David had hung up their scorching reels and were fixing another boat drink. Through the cuban smoke appeared Davids gaunt face as he read my scribing.
' Yep MikeyB, thats it, get them to find out who they truly are first before they are safe to follow their map"
Ever since last week I have been stalled, my site didn't make sense. i didn't feel good and it's because my goals were not based on me, they were based on making money and that's not what I am about.
Ernest slapped me hard on the back and thrust a coloured drink into my wanting hand. "Son' he bellowed, "When you figure out who you are and what you are about, then you will write better and you will write freely, there will be no boredom as you would have found you"
Ernest Hemmingway and D.H Lawrence
My point is this guys, Please think about your values, your core beliefs before setting your goals. Core values are what make you, you!
Be honest, what are you about? What makes you tick? try and get 5 values down that describe you. Adventure, discipline, freedom, health, honesty, integrity, the list is endless.
"yep, I like that" said David, ' Get them to be honest with who they are, Its tough, Instead of chopping yourself down to fit the world, chop the world down to fit you' and with that he pulled the cap over his face, smoothed his beard and began dreaming of the leviathans below the boat and another day.
Ernest liked Mission Statements, one hung in his boat, yellowed from the sun and curled at the ages but it read something like ' ........to be true, to be the nice(sic) fisherman and the best I can be with integrity to myself. To be real with my fam (faded) at all times, to be honest and a father that I am proud of"
Once you have realised your Values then build a mission statement, a cause, a why, a reason and purpose for this all. Why are you on this journey?
Ernest and I talked at length about the why, and we concluded that it's not usually because of the money, we have our reasons and its these reasons that we need to be clear about. Ernest chuckled and used his mighty arms to turn the pilar towards the shore, he puffed heartily on the cuban, 'do you think they will get it son?'
I had no clue but I now understood that goals come after defining your values and writing a purpose, it's only then you can be on a true path and your goals will be enjoyable and make sense.
David peeked out from under his cap, "one more thing chaps, I can never decide if my thoughts are the results of my dreams or my dreams are the results of my thoughts"
I knew that dreams came from our thoughts and that our thoughts came from having a solid bearing on our purpose.
We headed into the sunset, Ernest, David and me and I knew I had cracked it and it didn't hurt that it had taken a day out on the Pilar with my heroes to confirm the truth.
God Bless and more to follow.....................
Recent Comments
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Hello and thanks for the follow. I believe that we have a much better chance of success if we write our goals out and look at them. Would be good to post them by the computer where we can see them. I like what you said about thinking about our core values.
I agree if we are not clear why we are doing something and do not have strong reasons to achieve a goal money in itself is not enough to be persistent and consistent in what we do, really successful people know that!
Were you gone? Oh, yeah, I did miss your wisdom.
I guess Earnest and DH had your attention.
A well done post and quite a clever way to get your point across. Too bad the Marlin had to suffer.
I take it you enjoyed your trip to Bimini. I know I always have had good experiences with that island. Hope the sunburn is not too bad. Sometimes dehydration can cause hallucinations you know. :)
lol oh hallucinations, was that it...I am afraid a lot of fish go the way of the marlin when you are out with Ernest, sorry!!
Nice little story. It was awesome!
And I totally agree with you. I'm sorry I didn't think of it before but in my own goal workshops we talk about values at the very beginning of the class.
And the mission statement? I made sure I had one and it is on the front page of my website. To let everyone know what the site and myself are about.
Great job
Wow really enjoyed your article Mikey, very well written. Its always good to do some real and honest soul searching........honest being the key word here ! Be yourself and project it in everything you say, write or do .........people out there can sense if its plastic or not ! Looking forward to your next trip with Ernest and David !.........take care. Johan.
First off, I noticed your lack of presence and it's good to see you again.
What's that they say? Plan to fail if you fail to plan, or something like that? I believe that people often jump into things with intentions of succeeding but with no plan. If a person believes that goal #1 is get started and goal #2 is succeed, their success, if any, will likely be a fluke.
People don't seem to understand what goals are. How do you convince a person that they need something when they don't understand what it is? I'm pretty sure you were onto something when you were talking about values. Inspire a person to be introspective. Help a person to determine what they're going for and then help them to see where their usual plan of attack hasn't worked. It looks like a big investment both of time and in people. It seems completely worthwhile to me.
I hear a lot of people say that all you need to succeed is a positive attitude. That is incredibly important, I agree. I believe it's far better to have a clear plan/set of goals even if you have a little trepidation. It's likely, if a person follows their plan and sees positive progress, the progress will encourage the positive attitude and an appreciation for the plan.
Thanks mamalama, i do try with getting goals across lol, can you tell....and thank you it's nice to be missed.
Mikey...the poetry just sunked in man. Thanks for the wonderful insight.
Our values precedes our purpose aka mission in life.
WOW!!!
Great post as ever.
I am not much of a literary person, more of a logician but I what I get from this is that the real lesson here is to think about writing more naturally, with a passion of what we believe in, whatever that may be.
A lot of us get caught up in the trap of writing for the money, "Buy Now", "Click Here", "20% Off Today" and so on and it is natural to a point to think that way because after all, it is what we need at the end of it because we can't exist without it. It is the world, the society that we live in that dictates the fact.
But it doesn't always make for interesting content. If we can get the hang of forgetting about the money and learn to write good, engaging content the rest will follow.
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I agree.i finally wrote my goals down.