Negativity Breeds Negativity

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Something that I have being seeing quite regularly in chat are negative people that land up being rude towards other members that are trying to help them.

This has happened again this evening. I watched a discussion going on between a member and everyone else that was trying to assist. I didn't take part in what was going on but just watched the interactions. It became quite clear to me very quickly that it didn't matter what anyone said to this person, it would not make a difference.

It is important to remember that unfortunately there are plenty of negative people in this world and often they actually don't want help - they just want to be negative and spread that around. And yes a few of those land up here, it is inevitable.

For the life of me I just cannot understand why anyone would want to waste their precious time like this but they seem to get off on it.

My message tonight is NOT for these negative people - they may or may not be beyond help for this issue, but this is not my problem - they need therapy to learn how to deal with their inappropriate behaviour.

My message is for those people in chat that persist in trying to help and continue to be treated with rudeness and scorn. This results in other members getting upset and chiming in to try and help the negative person understand and the insults spread.

Negativity spreads negativity and positivity spreads posivity. Unfortunately negativity can squash positivity quite quickly and it can take quite a while for posivity to return after such a hit.

I have a very simple policy when it comes to negativity in my life. Whether it be a member here that is rude to me when I offer my time and effort to help them, throwing my efforts in my face or perhaps it is a rude person when I am out shopping.

I don't allow it in my life. I stop interacting with this person immediately and I carry on with my day.

The live chat is a positive and happy place for me - as it is for I believe most members. Let's keep it that way - not by defending and getting involved in negativity but by stepping clear away from it and not engaging.

If there is a rude member in chat simply ignore the chaos unless it is severe - then just click on the report button.

If we all do this it will send a clear message to rude members. I for one have no interest in wasting my time trying to help someone just to be slapped in the face.

I will however always go the extra mile for most members here.


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Recent Comments

62

I totally agree, Lynne. Thank goodness we don't have to plug in to the negativity cycle when it starts. We can plant positive feedback in and hope that it takes root, grows and flowers. It's impossible to move forward productively with negativity. You only accomplish productivity with open mind, open heart and firm intention.

You are definitely one of the "go-to" people at WA for getting help; I save and watch your tutorials all the time (thanx for making those, by the way).

Please know that many of us that actually want and NEED the help have gotten it from you. Go on resisting that negativity! We've worked too hard to let the whiners and biters make our days look and feel like theirs!

Really appreciate the encouragement!

Amen! If you do end up helping someone like that then you need to let it go after everything is said and done. Go scream into a pillow and then get back to the positive stuff.

"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." —Aristotle Onassis

Take care.

Beautifully said :)

I really appreciate you putting this out there. I took notice to this for a while now, and this behavior makes me don't want to get on chat when a certain person is on. Sometime they are on all day an night. Therefore I miss getting on chat on those days.

This particular person just started in December, and they have taken control of chat, and very ignorant to. They have the answer to every body's question.

One day I was in chat with someone, they got and attitude with me and said some very rude stuff.

I just stay away until the coast is clear.

Thank you!

I'm not necessarily saying stay away Louisa, that may be dangerous for the platform since if everyone deserts chat what there is an unsavory and rude person what happens when a newbie arrives?

But I can certainly understand the temptation! I stay on chat but I just consciously ignore the messages from that person and the drama going on. Even if I am tagged by that person I just don't respond.

Got you! That is very encouraging. I will continue chat!
I will not respond to them.

Great :) Because it would be such a shame if everyone left the chat to a negative character!

Louisa so very true I too tend to stay out of live chat when a certain person is on there. It is a shame really but it happens and I do hate how some times some are rude to the Newbies also.

You're spot on. Some people not only thrive on negativity but drama as well. They evidently need attention and I have no patience for that mess. It's a delicate balance though because if they decide to quit then they bad mouth WA and it hurts us again.

Fortunately on the whole, this is a great community of like minded people who really try to help each other. The negative drama king/queens are few and far between ............ I hope.

~Debbi

You are right about that Debbi and that is also why instead of getting riled up and upset by the negative person it is best to just remove yourself. If I get sucked into drama like that I land up getting upset myself.

The majority of the people at WA are so positive and amazing, it is part of the reason why I love spending so much time here. It uplifts me. The drama kings and queens are very few here, but they do find their way in.

I always tell people "I'm a NO drama Mama" so I avoid it like the plague. Sometimes you can't avoid these people but I breathe deep, say little and escape their presence as soon as possible.

BTW, I like your new profile pix.

~Debbi

Thanks Debbi, a few people said my other one was way too "serious" LOL.

Agree.

It is hard to stay positive when there is so much negative around but you do a good job of being positive on all the posts of yours that I have read. Keep with it some of us depend upon you and others like you who are positive. Great post and reminder.
Jerry

Jerry I have in the past been sucked into the chaos and drama so I know what it is liked to have the positivity sucked out of me. I don't like it and now I make sure to surround myself with the right type of people and run for the hills when there is negativity spreading around.

Well said. Negativity is one of the biggest reasons I'd rather interact with people here than on places like Facebook, where everyone seems to be bitter about something. Entrepreneurs are largely positive, sometimes because it's their nature, or other times because they discover that they just have to be, in order to be successful. There's no sense in wasting our precious energy fighting off an urge to tell someone off, deservedly or not, when we could be applying that effort to our more important endeavors. While I haven't seen a lot of them here, I have seen a few. I guess the rest are probably as disgusted with our positivity as we are with their negativity. The whole point of us being in here is to connect with other like-minded individuals, so if a person clearly doesn't belong here because they're antagonizing other members, I agree it's best to report them and just move on. Time is precious for us, even if it means nothing to them.

Oh I love what you said there about how our positivity must disgust them as much as their negativity does to us... that is so funny and probably true!

You've got me giggling away. Thanks for sharing.

Oh man, I have no time for negative people. If you feel like you want to live your life like that, great. Go for it. But I am not going near it with a 10 ft. pole. Life is way too short for that. That's why I scroll, scroll, scroll on Facebook. lol Great message that we should use in all aspects of our lives!

- Christina

Oh Facebook, LOL Christina don't even get me started. I don't scroll anymore on Facebook, I stop and unfollow and unfriend and unlike as I go along so that anyone that shares negative BS is removed from my feed. The worst are the people that air all their dirty laundry on Facebook, like having relationship fights on Facebook for all to see. Noooooo!

Yes, I know! The worst!! Luckily, I don't have too many negative people on there. I unfollowed the couple that were. It's just some of the political articles get people so fired up. Scroll, scroll, scroll.

- Christina

Politics and religion.... I unfollow and unfriend very fast.

I know what you mean. You commit your time to help and then they act like they don't want your help or don't believe what your saying. I usually end up having to find a link of training to help support what I am saying.

Unfortunately, in a group this big there will be personality conflicts. The nice thing is you can choose not to deal with those people. There are plenty of others who are more like you and you just have to find them!

Exactly Eden, put your energy and efforts into people that really want it and appreciate it. In this way the positivity spreads and not the negativity :)

Hi,
So very well said and very true. Sometimes also treating people with a kindness actually can ruin them in an instant knowing they are looking for trouble.

As you have just caught that in live chat too. Your support was brilliant so I shall thank you again Lynne for that. What you say is totally correct.

Some times some people really ought to checkout the people they are talking too. I actually wasn't the person who was been chatted to in an abrupt manner, but I felt the need to comment.

Even then thats the worst thing to do and you are so right negativity breeds negativity. So I shall now take on board what you have said.

So very well said as it goes. Thank you Lynne

~Debs ;-)

Its a pleasure Debs. I just thought that I have seen it too often to be quiet about it. I find it easy to just remove myself but I see good and kind people being trampled on and that I don't like.

It's so sad that it happens and I make you totally right in adding in your thoughts. It can become tiring too.

Sometimes that one person like yourself just really takes the whole situation going from bad to worse.

Luckily I got out of it in time thanks to you Lynne and the so called person still carried on which was a shame for her.

I had you, To put me into perspective, and that totally helped me.

As the younger ones say here in London Thank you. You had my back.

Lynne you are a star and this post needed to be said

Thank you again ;-)



Its a pleasure Debs. When you step back and look at what is happening with a clear mind you can see it for what it is. Don't ruin your day with it.

So true and thankfully to you I haven't ruined my day thats for sure Lynne you intervened at the perfect time ;-)

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